


A Mandalorian Walks into an Inn

by spacegayofficial



Series: AMWIAI [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bondage, Brainwashing, Canon-Typical Violence, D/s dynamics sorta, Edging, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Kidnapping, Masturbation, Memory Issues, Nightmares, Penis In Vagina Sex, Rope Bondage, Ruined Orgasms, Spanking, blindfolds of Course, daddy kink (I'm sorry), dom Mando vibes, emotional reunions as expected, mention of injuries from previous torture and kidnapping, more nightmares!, obviously, paddles, revisiting traumatic events, talking about accepting death, there's a lot of smut in this one at first folks, things start getting less fun in chapter 6 sorry, torture (not Extremely graphic but proceed with caution), trauma adjacent stuff, very light humiliation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:34:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 49,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24132907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacegayofficial/pseuds/spacegayofficial
Summary: Thessa Emereas settled on Lothal after the Rebellion to live a normal life, working as an innkeeper. But, of course, nothing stays the same for long in her life, and it changes for good when a Mandalorian with a small green child stays in her inn for several days. After developing a crush on him, he gives her a job offer she can't refuse. After revisiting some events from her past, she's forced to face the fact she wasn't meant to lead a normal life, and is much more special than she could've ever guessed.
Relationships: The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: AMWIAI [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741336
Comments: 3
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thessa Emereas settled on Lothal to lead a normal life after her stint in the Rebellion as a pilot. Then she forms a stupid crush on a guest at the inn she works at, who just happens to be a Mandalorian, making her reconsider if she wants to have a normal life or not.

The space around Panatha was a mess. The Rebellion, _I,_ really thought this was going to be an easy victory, a system to swipe out from under the nose of the Empire. We were dreadfully wrong. More Imperial ships than we expected were here to guard the planet from our attempt. We figured there would be one, maybe two star destroyers and maybe some other smaller ships as a matter of the fact it was an Imperial planet. Try a small fleet. Something was important to the Imperials here. Explosions littered the battlefield, wrecked fighters and ships made it difficult to navigate. It looked dire, but command was coming from one of the star destroyers closest to the planet, and if we could just take that ship out, we might be able to turn the tide and liberate the system.

“I can make it!” I shouted over the comms, my target in view. My R5 astromech had been taken out, but I still had my radar and nav computers up and good to go on my X-wing. I’d be fine. We could win this.

“Emereas, _fall back_! Even if you can make it, you won’t be able to take it out on your own!”

“We can take back this system! Just give me ten more seconds!”

“Gold team, disengage and come back, that is an order!”

I sighed, frustrated, ready to comply with orders when I was hit. Grazed, more accurately. Just enough to take out one engine. I began spiraling down towards the surface of Panatha. “I’m hit, going planetside!” I said, trying to regain control of my X-wing the best I could. All it did was make my crash survivable, barely. My fighter barrelled through thick forest canopy, catching on branches several feet off the ground. My comms still buzzed in my ears, and I heard that other fighters in my squadron had also been hit. And not been as lucky. Two were lost in direct hits. Two more were coming to the surface. This was my fault. I should’ve listened.

I took off my helmet and tossed it to the side, anger at myself, the Empire, _everything_ bubbling in my chest. I pushed open the top hatch of my fighter, pulling myself out with some difficulty. I dropped to the ground, landing ungracefully with a thud on the leaf-covered ground. I attempted to move, and a searing pain shot around my side, up my back. I stifled a scream. I looked at my hand, and it was covered in blood. Where was this blood coming from? I reached around to the source of the pain, grabbing onto a piece of metal protruding from my back. I tugged on it, hissing. I clenched my jaw, and with a deep breath, pulled the piece of shrapnel out. That fucking hurt. There was more blood, but I could move again. I glanced up to get my bearings, only to see another fighter caught in the trees, a stray branch pinning the pilot to the backrest of his seat. Zech. He was a good kid. He had potential. Now he’s dead, his face eternally contorted into an expression of terror, because of me.

Something moved in the trees. I grabbed for my blaster, cursing as more pain ripped through my body. I scrambled to try and get into cover, but I was quickly stopped in my tracks by an explosion far too close for comfort. Just meters away, another fighter collided with the ground going much, much faster than I had just minutes ago. I was sent tumbling back, colliding with a tree. Panic started to set in. I was fucked. I was so incredibly absolutely fucked. I sat up against the tree and readied my blaster. If I was going down, I was at least going down fighting.

Then they came. Stormtroopers, in waves, white armor in stark contrast with the natural colors of the landscape making them easy to target. Easy to drop. I lost track of how many I had killed, at least a dozen, maybe two. Adrenaline and my unwillingness to die did wonders for my aim. Just as I was beginning to think I might make it, two pairs of hands grabbed my arms, yanking me up. Something hard hit me over the head, and I faded in and out of consciousness. I was dragged onto an Imperial shuttle.

But that’s all I remember.

I was captured.

Then I was _angry._

* * *

I survived that day. I made it out. I don’t remember how, but frankly I don’t care. It’s been nearly six years since that incident. I earned my first Redbird. My time in the Rebellion was overall a positive experience. Two Redbirds, a Superior Service Medal, and a Group Commander Citation later, I was about done. I hadn’t thought about that day in a long, long time, and I was ready to settle down, lead a normal life for a while.

Which is why I came to Lothal.

I worked as an innkeeper now, at least partially. I didn’t own the place, but I’ve been here for about a year now and I’ve put my own mark on things. The inn was in a small village, a few hours by speeder away from the next major town. It was just big enough to draw the business of several travelling merchants regularly. That was a blessing; it was far too difficult and expensive to travel all the way to the next town for supplies all the time. Of course, those of us that live here are having to do that less and less. We’re lucky enough to be expanding somewhat, with more permanent merchants and residents. In fact, a couple just opened a single ship bay in the village. That brought in some more travelling merchants, more varied supplies coming in.

But, of course, it brought in some other interesting things, too.

My gut was telling me it wasn’t a good thing when a pre-Empire ship that looked like it had been through the ringer landed in our singular bay. I watched as it landed from the entryway to the inn, squinting to try to get a better look at it in the bright sunlight of the day. _The Razor Crest?_ Curious. Well, it had to bring someone in, and that someone had to spend credits one way or another. Hell, maybe my gut was way off and this was just a new travelling merchant coming in for a few days to sell their wares then they’d be on their way. Maybe they would return in a few weeks. Who knows. Either way, whoever it was, they would need a room, and I had the only ones in town. I went back inside, around the counter, and back into the kitchen.

“Cerniki, someone’s landing in the ship bay,” I shouted. Cerniki was our cook, and a good friend. “Probably should put the soup on in case.”

“Alright,” he responded from back in the pantry area. “Thanks for the heads up.”

“Always!” I said, turning back to go to the counter, waiting for our potential new guests. I suppose there was a chance they would just stay on their ship, but if their beds were anything like the ones I remember from the Rebellion, they sucked and weren’t comfortable. I bent down to grab a datapad from under the counter, then got distracted by the fact that a bunch of things were knocked over and disorganized. Cordes… Cordes owned the place, and wanted everything in its place, but was bad at keeping it that way themself. I sighed, organizing the various odds and ends back where they belonged. Why in the galaxy did we have any flimsi at all? We had datapads, we didn’t need this stuff! When I stood back up, a figure had entered our inn. I didn’t hear them come in, and they startled me.

The first thing I noticed was the armor. It was… on the newer side, but it had discoloration and scratches, a sheen like a steel pan that got too hot. It had seen some heavy action in a fairly short amount of time. I could only imagine what the person wearing it had been through in his years. The distinct T-shaped visor in his helmet told me immediately he was a Mandalorian. Just about as curious as the fact he came in here in an at least 30 year old ship. You didn’t see many Mandalorians out in the galaxy, a rare sight indeed. But a well known one, and a terrifying one if you were the wrong person. I wasn’t the wrong person unless you were an ex-Imperial with a grudge, but he still made me feel… nervous. He seemed tall, but that might just be the fact he had full armor on and carried himself with confidence and intent. Maybe it was the long rifle strapped to his back. But the nervousness was right beside something else. Intrigue? Something that gave me butterflies in my stomach. Either way, he was here, and he wasn’t looking for an innkeeper to just stare at him.

“Hello there! How can I help?” I asked politely, smiling.

“We need lodging,” he said. His voice was modulated through the helmet, but still a deep, pleasant tone. “Do you have a room available?”

I nodded. “I do! But, we?” I asked, leaning forward slightly to tap into my datapad which room he’d be in. In leaning forward, I saw who “we” entailed. A small green being, with big, dark eyes and huge ears gripped to the Mandalorian’s ankle, looking up at me nervously. “Oh, my goodness, how cute! Ah, you’ll probably want a crib in your room, then.”

“If you have one, yes,” he responded, helmet turning, looking down at the little one by his side.

“Absolutely! Let me show you to your room, and I’ll bring one to you,” I said, grabbing a key from the counter and walking out from behind it, and down the hallway towards the guest rooms.

I’d done this tour a million times, but there was something… off-putting about this one. I was likely just projecting, but the way he followed me down the hallway was almost like he was stalking me, watching my every small movement, waiting for me to make a mistake, trip, attack, something. I knew deep down that he wouldn’t hurt me; he had a child with him, and one that he clearly cared deeply for. Despite his intimidating exterior, the way he picked up and held the little one gave away his softer side, something I wouldn’t have expected to pick up on, if it existed at all, within the first minutes of us knowing each other.

We arrived at the door and I opened it for him, handing him the key. “This is your room. Give me just one moment, and I’ll grab that crib for you.” I turned and went a few doors down in the hallway to a storage closet, and grabbed the crib, carting it down the hallway and back into the guestroom. “I’ll set it here for now, but feel free to move it around as you need,” I said, setting it in the corner just inside the doorway. “I’ll let you get settled, but is there anything I can get you?” I asked, smiling at the expressionless helmet covering the face of the Mandalorian. This was going to be interesting. He was extremely difficult to read, which made my job as an innkeeper, as someone who was supposed to be good at customer service, a little bit more difficult.

“Something to eat for the little one.”

He was a man of few words, clearly. This made some logical sense to me for some reason. I nodded. “Of course, our cook put a pot of soup on not too long ago, I’m sure it’s ready by now,” I said. “I’ll be back with that in a few minutes. If you need anything else, my name is Thessa.”

“Thank you, Thessa.”

Goosebumps erupted up and down my arms, and those butterflies returned with a vengeance. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for me to develop small crushes on guests, but this was… bizarre, and different, and new. So far this man had spoken 24 words to me, and he did not seem like he would open up anytime soon. Some combination of the mystery he brought with the armor and the helmet, the confidence and the way his presence fills the room, the way he’s so gentle with the little green child he was with was getting to me in a way I wasn’t expecting.

I nodded, smiling still, hoping I wasn’t blushing and giving away my incredibly fast infatuation. I walked somewhat quickly back to the kitchen, checking on Cerniki and the soup. I grabbed a tray and a bowl, then paused, grabbing another one just in case. I know he said that the little one needed to eat, but surely he did, too, right? Unless he was a droid under there, which I supposed was possible, though... unlikely.

“Did you see who just came in here?” I asked Cerniki, hushed as if the new guest was within earshot, as he hovered over the pot of soup, making sure it was coming together properly.

“What, that suit of armor?” he asked. “Yeah, what’s a Mandalorian doing on Lothal?”

I shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. He has some weirdly adorable little kid with him, too,” I said. “I wonder what that’s about.”

“Who knows, and who cares, as long as he spends credits, yeah?” he said, handing me the ladle for the soup.

“Yeah,” I responded, kind of distracted by my own thoughts. I had a bad feeling about this. Well, maybe not _bad,_ just… _off._ I filled the two bowls with soup, and grabbed some bread, a couple glasses of water, and a candy for the little one. “Thank you, Cerniki,” I said, leaving the kitchen to take the tray of food back to our new guest. Once at the door, I carefully balanced the tray on one hand and knocked. Before I even had my hand all the way back down to my side, the door was open. Okay, so he was fast.

“I brought you a bowl of soup as well,” I said, bringing the tray in and setting it on the table in the middle of the room. “I know you said for the little one, but I figure you must be hungry as well.”

“That’s… very kind of you. I appreciate it,” he said.

“Of course. If you need any more to eat, Cerniki in the kitchen can get you fixed up, or you can just flag me down,” I said. I turned to leave, but then my curiosity got the better of me, and I opened my mouth before my brain could stop me. “If you… don’t mind me asking, what brings a Mandalorian to Lothal?” I asked, mirroring Cerniki’s words from earlier. “We don’t get a lot of visitors here, it’s a small town.”

He turned his head from me to the little one. “Work.” The child began eating, happily slurping up the soup. “The kid is… a new responsibility.”

“Ah.” I looked at the Mandalorian, watching him watch the kid. I knew he was aware I was watching, though. Details don’t get past him, that much I could tell already. “I take it he isn’t… yours, though. Unless you’re actually tiny and green under there.”

There was a pause, and a soft crackle in his modulator that I could’ve sworn was a small laugh. “No, he’s…” Another pause. “I found him. It’s a long story.” I knew he was telling the truth on that one. This was an unlikely pair if I’ve ever seen one.

“Well, I’ll tell you what,” I said, shifting to lean against the doorframe. “I’d be more than happy to keep an eye on him here while you find work. And your best bet to find it is going to be at the bar to the left down the street about a block,” I suggested. “If not there, they’ll be able to point you in the right direction.”

There was a long, deafening moment of silence. The Mandalorian turned his head back towards me, slowly, in a way that made me want to shrink back down the hallway behind the desk and forget about even offering. Even though I couldn’t see his face, I could feel his eyes burning into me. It felt as though he could see right through me, into my very soul, to see if I was honest, clearly letting me know he wasn’t going to leave the kid with just anyone. Would I hurt him? Would I defend him if need be?

After what felt like years, he spoke again. “I would appreciate that.”

“Sure thing,” I said, standing from my leaning position. “Well, if you need anything, I’ll be at the desk for a while yet. If it’s late and I’m not there, I’ll be up in my room, which is up the stairs, first door on the left.” I smiled again, pushing through the nerve-wracking feeling of having my entire conscious dissected with a glance. He gave a curt nod, and I turned and left, gently shutting the door behind me.

As I walked back to the desk, my mind raced. An internal argument, trying to convince myself to grow up and stop thinking about this mysterious stranger. The thought of him just stepping closer to me, touching me with a gloved hand… it made my heart flutter, but I shook my head as if to physically remove the thoughts from my mind. This was not a person I wanted to be involved with. He was a Mandalorian, a fierce and mighty warrior, a deadly hunter. And this kid with him… that huge pair of ears was adorable, sure, but why did this man have him? This had to mean trouble, right? He said he found him, what did that mean, exactly? Nonetheless, this was a man who had seen things, felt things. Despite the initial shine of his armor, it still had dings and scratches and that discoloration. He was clearly protective of the kid; the way he held him, and took a long time to consider if I should be allowed to look after him told me this definitively. He wasn’t going to hand his trust out to just anyone.

Damnit, we were up to 54 words and I was a goner. I needed to stop this, or I was going to get myself in over my head again. A normal life! That’s all I wanted, coming here. I deliberately chose a small town on a backwater planet for a reason. Of course, I didn’t think of the fact that small towns on backwater planets were where people on the run loved to hide.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mando convinces Thessa to join him on a job in hopes to get her to come with him.

The first couple days of Mando’s visit were fine. Great, even. He was a model guest, leaving his room neat and tidy which made my job a lot easier. He was regularly finding work. Bounties, mainly; he wasn’t really interested in odd jobs. He was paying more than the actual rate for the room was, too, which I attempted to politely decline, but he insisted in such a way that I simply could not argue with. He was persuasive, and I couldn’t tell if it was because he was intimidating still, if he was just really good at persuasion, or if I was caving because of my weird, and increasingly unwelcome, crush. The one thing that was starting to worry me, however, was the tension Mando was causing. A couple of the merchants who usually visited just… stopped coming if they knew he was here. I figured they assumed he was there for them, but that wasn’t the case. From what I could tell, he was just trying to keep his head above water so he could keep his new ward safe. The downside of this, of course, was that those merchants had supplies we needed, and we couldn’t continue to just send people out to the next town over to restock. That would get unsustainable in the blink of an eye.

The silver lining to all of this came down to the fact that, as Mando spent more time in the inn, and as I spent more time with the child, he started to open up, even if barely. He gained more of a personality around me, and became very slightly less intimidating. We even had short conversations on a fairly regular basis, which I eagerly looked forward to.

One evening, he came back into the inn, looking a little bit worse for wear. “Hey, Mando, are you okay?” I asked, looking up from my datapad where I was doing some bookkeeping for the inn. The child was sitting on the counter next to me, and he cooed and reached out as he realized Mando had returned.

“I’m fine. I just need to patch some things up,” he responded, rolling his shoulder slightly as if to shake off an ache. “Can you watch him for a few more minutes?”

“Of course,” I answered, placing a hand around the little one to keep him from crawling off the counter. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you need anything?”

“I have what I need. Thank you, Thessa.” Goosebumps again. 

“You’re more than welcome.”

He retreated to his room, closing and locking the door behind him. I sighed. Sometimes I caught myself worrying about him a little bit. I imagined him for a moment, tying down bandages and bacta-patches. It would be so much easier to patch up his wounds if I could help. I knew he wasn’t allowed to take off his helmet as a matter of… principle, or religion, or something, but was he allowed to show skin? I wondered what it looked like under all those layers, if it was light or dark or somewhere in between. How many scars he must have from years of doing what he does. Then I wondered what color his hair was, what color his eyes were, whether or not his lips were soft, how they would feel against mine…

I was torn from my daydream when he was standing in front of me at the desk, picking the child up. I blinked, then felt my cheeks heat up slightly, momentarily afraid he could hear my thoughts. “All good?” I asked.

“Yes. Thank you again for watching him,” he said.

“Of course,” I responded. I paused for a moment. “Mando?”

“Yes?”

What the hell did I even want to say? “Uh… goodnight,” I finally said. “If you need anything you know where to find me.”

He nodded in that way he did and went back to his room, green child tucked safely in the crook of his arm. Once the door was closed behind him, I silently chastised myself. What was going on with me? Yeah, I had a bad habit of developing little crushes on guests sometimes, but this was… different, somehow. The mystery that shrouded him drew me in like a moth to a flame, and I wasn’t about to get burnt. A normal life, Thessa! That’s why you’re here! No more adventuring or danger! You have a nice collection of awards from the Rebellion, that’s more than enough! Still, I was completely enamored with the way he handled the kid, how gentle and caring he was, and Maker, his _voice._ I could listen to him talk all day, even though he wasn’t the type to do that. I sighed, starting to walk upstairs to my room. I had to stop these feelings from growing. This was getting ridiculous. What did I even expect him to do? Invite me to run away with him on his ship? Fat chance. I was a random innkeeper he happened to meet while he was taking some time to lay low and find work.

I entered my room and yawned. Despite having a fairly uneventful day as far as the actual inn went, that little womp rat Mando left with me was a troublemaker. I couldn’t turn my back on him for a second or he would disappear and get into something he was not supposed to be in. He never got far enough to hurt himself, thankfully; I can’t even begin to imagine what would happen to me if the little one got hurt on my watch. Keeping him corralled was an exhausting job. I went into the refresher to clean up before I changed into my bedclothes.

I took my hair out of its messy bun and combed through it. It was thick and curly, a little bit frizzy, dark brown, and fell just beyond my shoulders. I parted my hair down the middle, carefully putting my hair into two neat braids. I eyed over the scars on my face; nothing major, and frankly you probably wouldn’t see them except for the fact that they interrupted the patterns of freckles on my skin. A small reminder that I fought for what was right, but also…

I shook the thought from my head, and returned to my bedroom, stripping out of my work clothes and pulling on a loose pair of pants to sleep in. While I was looking for a shirt, there was a knock at the door. I sighed. “Just a second,” I said, raising my voice just enough that whoever it was could hear me. I grabbed the nearest thing to cover myself with, which happened to be a jacket some pilot friends got me as a gift for earning my Group Commander Citation. My two Redbirds lived on the front left panel, just above the breast pocket there. The Rebellion logo was emblazoned on the shoulder. I slipped it on and wrapped the front closed, opening the door.

The Mandalorian stood there, practically towering over me despite the two of us being similar in height. It had to be the armor that made him seem so tall, right? I was suddenly _acutely_ aware that I was completely bare under this jacket. I also noticed then that he had the kid with him, which… helped, but didn’t break the tension entirely. I cleared my throat nervously, feeling my cheeks heating up slightly. “How can I help?” I asked, my voice cracking slightly, but I pretended not to notice.

“Sorry to bother you. Do you have a… lock? The kid’s figured out how to get out of the crib and open the door,” he explained. “Just need something to keep him from wandering off.”

I nodded, a smile spreading on my face. “Uh, yeah, I have a babyproofing door knob thing,” I said, waving my hand, almost to define what I was talking about. “Gimme just a second, okay?” I turned away from him to zip up my jacket so my whole chest didn’t fall out while I was grabbing the item.

“You’re… Rebellion?” he asked, his head tilting slightly.

“Oh. Yeah, uh, I was a pilot,” I answered. “Mainly X-Wings, but I can fly just about anything.” I turned back around, starting to step out into the hallway.

“Are those Redbirds?” he asked.

I sighed. “Yes, they are.”

“Were you on the ground too, then?”

“No. Not by choice anyway. Just got… unlucky a couple times.” I continued downstairs and around the corner towards the supply closet. “Thankfully the training you get in the Rebellion covers a lot of possibilities.”

He was quiet, seemingly considering what I’d said. I don’t know if it was a good or a bad thing that he knew I was a fighter pilot. Was he more likely to whisk me away? Is that what I even wanted? He was probably just trying to make conversation. But at the same time, that was unlike him as far as I knew. We arrived at the supply closet, and I pulled out the piece of plastic that would hopefully keep this ornery bundle of energy contained. “Think this’ll do the trick?” I asked.

“Only one way to find out,” he responded.

Fair enough. We walked back to his room and he opened the door. I entered, slipping the cover on the doorknob and jiggling it, assuring it was attached correctly. “There. You need to squeeze pretty hard on that thing, so unless he can manage to get that tiny little hand all the way around it, I think you’re good,” I said. I knelt down to the owner of the tiny little hand in question, who Mando had set down and allowed to toddle over to me. “Now, you need to stay in your crib and get some sleep! You want to grow up big and strong like your daddy, don’t you?” I asked. Suddenly I was aware that that might not even be the correct title for him, and… it was a little loaded, anyway. I glanced up at Mando, who had tilted his head slightly again, as if he was amused, or irritated, or just thinking about what I said. I felt my face burn bright red, stood quickly, and turned to leave. “Well, if that’s it, I’m going to go back--”

Mando reached out and placed a hand on my arm, not hard, just enough to get me to stop. Those butterflies flooded in once again. “Thessa, wait,” he said, releasing me once he finished speaking. I inwardly wished the contact didn’t stop; it sent shivers down my spine despite the innocence of it all. “You’re a pilot, former Rebellion no less. You’re great with the kid, and he’s taken a liking to you. I could use help from someone like you.”

 _This is exactly what you didn’t want to happen, you karking dumbass,_ I thought to myself. _A normal life, Emereas! A normal life! Not whatever this shiny bastard is into!_ “I-- what? I mean, that’s… thank you, but I have responsibilities here, and you haven’t even seen any of my skills in action beyond my babysitting capability,” I responded, hiding my intense interest fairly well behind a wall of excuses.

“I have a job tomorrow,” he said. “It should be easy, in and out, but there’s always a chance things could go south. How are you with a blaster?” he asked. His tone did not make this sound like an invitation I could decline.

I sighed. “I mean, good, but I’m rusty. I haven’t shot in ages,” I responded.

“Then come with me. If everything goes as it should, you shouldn’t have to get your hands too dirty,” he said. “And I’ll pay you well for it, even if you decide it’s not for you.”

I swallowed, taking a moment to think about it. I wanted to throw myself headfirst into this, but that was not the reason I chose to settle here. But… this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and who knows where it would lead. I was more than capable, and it wouldn’t take me long to get back on top of my game with a little bit of target practice. “I… alright. Alright, I’ll come with you tomorrow, but I’m not going to promise you anything,” I said.

He nodded. I could almost imagine that he was smiling under the helmet, but I’d never know for sure. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Mando,” I said, waving slightly and turning to go back up to my room.

“Good night, Thessa.” My heart skipped a beat. I went back to my room and hung my jacket back up. I found an old, worn-out shirt and pulled that on instead. My face still felt like it was on fire. I almost couldn’t believe he’d just offered me a job. But what about my job here? Sure, I didn’t really have any permanent ties keeping me here. I was close to Cordes and Cerniki, yes, but not so close I’d feel too bad leaving on a whim. But that was a ridiculous consideration, right? I can’t just leave! According to who, though? Why not? I groaned, frustrated with myself for making this internal conflict more complicated than it should be. I opened a drawer in my dresser, digging to the bottom for my blaster and its holster. The grip still felt right, and the sights were still in good condition. I took it out and set it aside, ready for the morning. I grabbed a datapad and sat at my table, writing a letter for Cordes and Cerniki just in case Mando managed to convince me of the inevitable and I left this simple life behind to return to a life of adventure with a stranger.

Once that was written, I set the datapad down and slipped into bed, laying on my back and looking up at the ceiling, studying the patterns there. I bit my lip and let my mind wander to thoughts about the subject of my infatuation. I wondered for probably the thousandth time what his lips would feel like against mine, if they were soft. I wondered if he had facial hair that would scratch against my face. I wondered if he was gentle, or if he could be rough, or a sweet mixture of both. My fingers danced down my body, and I slipped a hand under my pants, my eyes fluttering closed. My mind involuntarily flicked back to my earlier comment, calling Mando the kid’s daddy. I gasped, brushing over my sensitive bundle of nerves. Okay, that one’s staying right inside my head where no one else can get to it, but it was an alluring thought all the same--one that sent a lightning bolt of arousal directly between my legs. I took my time, ultimately bringing myself to an orgasm imagining riding those gloved fingers in the cockpit of a ship, him whispering dirty things to me through that modulator. Once I finished I rolled over in bed, burying my face in the pillows. That can’t become a regular thing or I was going to self-destruct eventually. Or I could just accept that this infatuation would kill me. I drifted off to sleep, wishing he was next to me.

* * *

The next morning I woke up much earlier than needed. I began packing a bag with essentials, stuff I couldn’t leave behind if something happened and we needed to leave. Something in my gut told me this was necessary, which should’ve made me stop in my tracks and change my mind and not go with Mando on his job today. But it didn’t. If anything, it encouraged me on, like this was what I was supposed to do. I set the bag on the table in my room, then I neatly folded my jacket and set it on top. I went to the refresher to look in the mirror, adjusting my hair into one braid that rested over my shoulder. I took a deep breath, clearing my mind before I strapped my holster to my hip, placing my blaster in it snugly. It felt right to have it on me again, somehow.

I joined Mando just outside the inn. The first stop was back to his ship, where he locked the little one inside, in a small alcove with a door he’d filled with toys and things to keep him busy. He assured me that this was fine, that he had plenty to do, and this was the safest option for him while we were out. I agreed, still worried about leaving a baby alone for any period of time.

The plan was simple enough. The target, a man who owed a lot of money to the wrong people, spent a lot of time in a seedy bar on the edge of town. One even I wasn’t familiar with, and as we approached the structure I could see why. It looked entirely uninviting, dirty, and weirdly dark despite it being the middle of the day. He would have a couple of lackeys with him, but nothing more than the two of us could handle. The client wanted him alive if at all possible, but would pay most of the bounty if he was dead. Standing outside the building, Mando produced a blinking tracking fob and studied it for a moment. He nodded, putting it back in his pocket, and we started to enter the establishment.

The few patrons who were inside quieted quickly upon our arrival. Well, _his_ arrival. A towering suit of beskar armor would outshine a washed up Rebel pilot playing bounty hunter any day of the week. It started out fairly well, just some heated chatter between Mando and the target. I kept my mouth shut for once in my life, not wanting to cause more trouble than was already bound to happen. Rather, I kept my eyes on the people he was surrounded by. A guard immediately beside him, one at the bar, and… one right behind me. I turned, back to back with Mando, and smiled politely at the newcomer. I relaxed my hand on my hip above my blaster, not making a move to grab it, but ready to.

Then a shot rang out. From the target himself, no less, a grave mistake that left him slumped against his chair with a shot right between his eyes. I drew my blaster and pointed it at the guard immediately in front of me. There was another shot, followed by a ping against beskar, and Mando was pushed back into me. I kept my stance, ensuring he wouldn’t fall over, which was easier said than done; all of that armor he wore made him much heavier than he looked. The guard facing me fired his blaster, but he missed… mostly. The shot grazed my shoulder, bouncing off of Mando’s backplate. I had fired my own shot, landing squarely in his chest before I even noticed I had been hurt. I cursed. I noticed another one coming out from a side room and quickly aimed and shot him in the head. A few more shots rang out behind me, then it was quiet.

“Are you okay?” he asked hurriedly.

“Fine,” I responded. “Any left?” Any uninvolved patrons had long since left the bar to avoid being caught in the crossfire.

“I don’t think so,” he said.

“We should sweep just in case,” I said, beginning to walk towards the edges of the room slowly, blaster at the ready still. Mando nodded and followed suit, going the opposite direction. “The fact that those guards didn’t just scatter after you killed him concerns me.”

“Could be nothing,” he said, but there was a waver in his voice, even through the modulator, that told me he was worried about the same thing.

“I hope you’re right.” I rounded my way to the bar, and peaked behind it. A guard was on the ground, but he was still alive. Time slowed down as I watched him move his hand out. A detonator. There was a bomb in here. “ _Mando, get down!_ ” I dove to the other side of the bar, the explosives blew somewhere near the back of the establishment, and the building went up in flames. I instinctively covered my head, and something heavy landed on me.

When I came to, my ears were ringing, and I felt out of breath. I tried to move, but realized I was pinned. Slowly the burning sensation set in, and I could feel every edge and splinter of the burning beam that was keeping me down angrily press into my skin. I groaned, trying to get my hands under me enough to leverage this beam off of me, but no matter what I did, it wasn’t enough. I cursed, slamming my fist against the ground. _Easy job, huh, Emereas? Sure, no problem, Mando, I’ll tag along! Idiot,_ I thought to myself, trying to steady my breathing. Panicking in this setting wouldn’t do me any good at all.

“Mando? You out there?” I shouted, trying to see if I could get my knees under me to use my legs to get this thing off. No dice. “Anyone?”

“ _Thessa!_ Thessa, are you okay?” he shouted back. I saw his boots running towards me and I tilted my head.

“Oh, never better,” I responded sarcastically, voice straining somewhat. Mando knelt down and, with some struggling himself, lifted the beam a few inches off of me. Getting it off almost hurt just as much as having it there, if not more. I groaned in pain again, wriggling out from under it.

“You’re badly burnt, we need to get you out of here,” he responded. “Can you stand?”

I got up on my hands and knees, grabbed my blaster from the ground, put it in my holster, and worked my way up from there. He offered me his hand, and I used it to help pull myself up. “Yeah, I’m--shit!” As I attempted to stand up straight, a stray piece of wood, presumably from the beam that was just pinning me down, announced its presence, lodged in my side. It had managed to catch in such a way that it was all the way through my side, but not centered enough that it was hitting anything major. “Well that’s cute.”

“Leave it,” he said. “It’s keeping you from bleeding too much. Let’s go.” He wrapped my arm over his shoulders, helping me walk towards the entrance. As we did, a red blinking light in the rubble caught both our eyes.

“What’s that?” I asked.

He bent over and picked it up. I braced myself against the wall to keep from falling over before he returned under my arm. “A tracking fob,” he answered, studying it for a moment. “The kid. That bastard’s still alive. We need to leave, now.” If I didn’t know better, I could’ve sworn there was _fear_ in his voice. He threw it on the ground, smashing it to pieces, and started walking faster, making me hiss in pain, towards his ship.

“Wait, wait, the kid?” I asked.

“The… kid was a quarry,” he said. “I thought I solved the problem a few months ago. Which makes it that much more important that we leave _now_.”

“That doesn’t give me a lot of time to think about your offer,” I responded, my free hand gripping at the area around the monster splinter, hoping to keep it still or… something to make it less painful.

We got to a point about halfway between the inn and the ship. Mando slid out from under my arm, but kept me supported, looking me in the eyes. At least, I assumed he was. The helmet made it impossible to know for sure.

“I know it’s a lot to ask,” he said. “If you don’t want to come with us I understand. This job went much worse than I thought was even possible.”

“It’s fine, shit happens. If I learned anything being a fighter pilot, it’s that nothing goes according to plan,” I responded, my grip on his arm supporting me tightening a bit. This fucking hurt.

“I really could use you. You held your own in there, you’re a damn good shot,” he said. “I will pay you handsomely. Significantly more than you make at the inn.”

I sighed. “I already wrote a note to my coworkers and packed a bag. Take me back to the inn and let me grab it, then we can leave,” I admitted.

He nodded. “Thank you, Thessa. You’ll be a great help.”

“Will the kid be alright?” I asked as Mando walked me back to the inn.

“Yeah. The ship’s on lockdown, the only one who’ll be able to get in at this point is me,” he responded. “I think we took care of the immediate threat back there, though.”

“For now, at least,” I said. He hummed a response.

We arrived at the inn and made our way up the stairs, where I motioned to my bag which Mando grabbed, slinging it over the shoulder I wasn’t leaning against. Thankfully no one seemed present to confront me, so I left without conflict. It was sort of bittersweet. Cerniki and Cordes were good people, and I’d miss them. But they’d be just fine running the inn without me; they had been for years before I showed up. And I now had very important things to do, apparently. Part of me was worried I’d just be an over glorified babysitter, but if his audition for me was a job, that couldn’t be the only reason he invited me to come along.

We made our way back to the ship. He tapped some things on his vambrace, and the ship’s ramp swung down for us. He helped me walk up, and sat me on the floor up against a crate.

“Hold on, I’m going to get us off the planet and into hyperspace, then I’ll be down to get you patched up,” he said, running up the ladder to the cockpit and disappearing for a moment. I was leaned forward to keep my back away from the crate; putting any pressure on it made it hurt even worse. I felt the ship lift off, and I placed a hand on the floor to steady myself against the new movement. After a few minutes we were in hyperspace, and Mando descended back into the hold. He opened a crate and pulled out some medical supplies; bandages, bacta patches, and some other things. I glanced down at the splinter through my side.

“That’s going to be a motherfucker to get out,” I mumbled, gingerly taking hold of the end sticking out of the front of my side and taking a cursory pull. I hissed again, letting go.

“Yeah, it will,” he responded, getting a rag to soak up blood ready to go. “Are you ready?” he asked, hovering his hand over the piece of wood.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I responded, my hands going to brace against the floor. I took a deep breath, and on the exhale he pulled. I couldn’t hold back the scream that escaped my lips, nor the tears stinging in my eyes at the sensation. My hand shot up and grabbed onto Mando’s shoulder, knuckles turning white as I gripped into his shirt just inside his pauldron. “Fuck!”

“It’s out,” he said. “Breathe.” I nodded, obeying his command, doing my best to steady my breathing. He hitched up my shirt to expose the wound entirely. It was bleeding pretty profusely, what you would expect for a stab wound like that one. He pressed the rag into the front side, spraying bacta down on the other. It stung like crazy, making me curse again. He fastened a bacta patch down, and repeated the gesture to the other side. The bleeding stopped quickly. Bacta worked wonders, thank the Maker. I took a deep breath once the work on that wound was done.

“Thank you,” I breathed, letting go of his shoulder.

“I need to bandage your back,” he said. He paused, unfastening his cape from his back and handing it to me. “You’ll need to take off your shirt so I can get to it.”

He said it so matter-of-factly, and I knew it was necessary, but it still made my face heat up, a dark blush overtaking my cheeks. I nodded, turning my back to him, and slowly peeled my ruined shirt, followed by my equally ruined bra, off. I tossed them aside, and clutched his cape to my chest.

“This is probably going to hurt too,” he said. I took another deep breath, then again on the exhale, he sprayed bacta on the wound.

That stung far worse than the other wound had. Hell, it hurt worse than getting that piece of wood pulled out. Burns were the absolute worst. “Oh, _fuck!_ ” I shouted, my hand going to my mouth to stifle any more shouts, tears falling from my eyes. Once he was done, I took a shuddering breath. “Really wish I was cursing so much under better circumstances,” I quipped. _Wait, what? For fuck’s sake, Thessa, shut your mouth!_

He ignored my comment, thankfully, and began placing down bandages on the wound. Once they were fastened, he observed his handiwork. Then he gently grabbed my upper arm, turning my shoulder towards him. “You were shot,” he said.

“Grazed,” I corrected. “It’s fine.”

He paused, then picked up the bacta spray again, spraying it on the wound before applying another bacta patch. “I’m sorry this happened.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “Really. I’ve… been through worse. Two Redbirds, remember?”

Mando stood and grabbed my bag for me, setting it next to me. “You should get some rest.” I dug around in the bag and grabbed a shirt, pulling it on. I handed his cape back to him, and he extended a hand to help me get up.

I took it, pulling myself up with some difficulty; the skin on my back shifting as I did so complaining. “That… sounds good. I can just set up a cot out here,” I said. I didn’t let go of his hand.

“No, you can sleep in my room, I’ll just sleep in the cockpit,” he responded. He wasn’t letting go of my hand.

“What? The _cockpit?_ Absolutely not, I can’t just-- that’s not comfortable, and you need rest too! I couldn’t possibly--” I stuttered out, before he cut me off. I still hadn’t let go of his hand.

“Thessa. You need a good rest, you’re injured. I’ve slept in the cockpit of this ship more times than I can count,” he said. “Please, at least until you’re healed.” He still hadn’t let go of my hand.

The addition of ‘at least’ made me make a face at him. “You’re not giving me your bedroom,” I said. Hands. Was this real?

He seemed to ignore me again, pulling me along to follow him. I rolled my eyes and walked with him to a room tucked back on the far side of the hold. It was a small room, but big enough that he had a small table, a chair, and a dresser alongside his bed. “If you need anything, I’ll be up in the cockpit,” he said. He still wasn’t letting go.

I bit my lip a little. And my body acted before my brain could stop me from making a fool of myself. I leaned in a little, pressing a kiss to the side of his helmet where his cheek would be. I pulled away, and immediately looked horrified, letting go of his hand and turning away.

“Uh, thanks, for this,” I said.

“Of course,” he responded. “And Thessa?”

“Yes?” Maker, I fucked up, he’s mad now. He has to be.

“Thank you again. This means a lot to us,” he said, before turning and leaving me to my thoughts once again, the door sliding shut behind him.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. I held my hands together, to my chest, almost as if to keep the sensation of his gloved hand against mine in my grip. That did not just happen, right? Surely I died in the blast and this was just a bizarre fantasy before I finally passed on to the other side.

Before I could convince myself of my own death, my exhaustion finally set in, and I yawned. Alright, maybe I did need some rest. I carefully climbed into the bed, not wanting to put any more pressure on any of my wounds than necessary. I ended up deciding the best course of action was to sleep on my stomach; I could take some pressure on the bruises I could feel on my chest and ribs where I was pressed into the ground by the beam, but not so much on my burn, or the graze on my shoulder. The bedsheets were soft and comfortable, and they smelled like him, or at least I assumed they did, as any time I was close enough to him to be able to confirm that theory I was distracted by injuries.

Had I made a mistake? Maker, I hope not. This was… sort of exciting, interesting to get back in the thick of things. I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed being in action. And how absolutely draining it was. I also partially hoped that Mando didn’t realize I had a stupid crush on him, despite the fact I kissed his helmet like an absolute fool. I knew it had to be obvious to him, but I still could hope. Now, though, those feelings would likely grow because of the fact I would be spending so much more time with him. Damnit. Oh well, if he didn’t reciprocate, I’d just have to learn to live with it. Still, he didn’t let go of my hand… I settled into the bed, falling asleep quickly, the smell of the sheets filling my head with thoughts of him I hoped he didn’t mind me having.

* * *

Din Djarin wasn’t fast to trust. Not by a longshot, and not with the little one. Something about the innkeeper immediately got his attention, though. Maybe it was the way she smiled and greeted him as if he was just another person, not some novel newcomer to be marveled at. Maybe it was the way she played with and cared for the kid, and the way the kid seemed to begin to like her quite a bit. Maybe it was the way she held her own in the bar, with good aim and an incredible ability to keep her cool under fire. He didn’t miss the way she held him up when he was nearly knocked off balance by a stray blaster bolt. Maybe it was the way she so nonchalantly addressed her injuries, as if they weren’t as big of a deal as they were. Maybe it was all of those things.

Either way, not only did Din trust her, he felt something else he wasn’t terribly familiar with taking root in his chest. When she smiled or laughed he felt it dig in a little deeper. It shot through him when she didn’t let go of his hand, and became practically overwhelming when she kissed his, well, sort-of-cheek. She was beautiful, capable, and smart. She was former Rebellion, and the other former Rebel he knew was someone he’d trust with his life. _Did_ trust with his life, and probably lived because of her. Clearly their ranks were filled with the right people.

He still felt incredibly bad, almost guilty, about how this job fell completely apart. Thessa shouldn’t have been injured, this should’ve been an easy task. How quickly things can get complicated. Indeed, if his hunch was correct, Gideon was somehow still alive, and still after the kid. But he couldn’t worry about that now, he’d need to get more information and a plan. He sighed a bit, grabbing the kid out of his alcove before scaling the ladder to the cockpit. He sat down in the captain’s chair and swiveled back around, staring out into the eerie blue of hyperspace.

He wondered if she felt the same. That odd fluttering in his core when she did something so simple as smiling. Surely not, that kiss was likely just a gesture of thanks, that was something people did. He wasn’t the type people usually had an interest in. Too… mysterious, impersonal, faceless. It was best if he just banished those feelings and moved forward as professionals, nothing more. He settled into the chair and tried to get comfortable, falling asleep, unable to fight off the thoughts of his new acquaintance.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mando and Thessa have a moment, then some spicy stuff ensues. Thessa has a nightmare she can’t remember, and Mando asks about a scar.

The next morning, I was woken up by some rustling in the room. I had ended up on my side in the night, which was fine, except for the fact that I instinctually rolled onto my back, which was still in quite a bit of pain despite the bacta treatment from last night. I groaned and sat up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I saw Mando, digging through a drawer in his dresser. Upon deciding whatever he was looking for wasn’t in there, he closed it, drumming his fingers against the top of the dresser.

As my groan hit his ears, he turned to look at me. “Good morning,” he said. “Did you sleep well?”

I nodded. “Yeah,” I said. “Your bed’s surprisingly comfortable. Not sure I wanna give it up for a cot on the floor. Looks like we’ll just have to share or something.” _Thessa Emereas you absolute fucking fool, shut the hell up before he spaces you!_

“If you’re hungry there’s food out in the hold,” he offered, thankfully ignoring my big mouth. “How’re your injuries? We should change your patches.”

I shrugged. “Better than last night, but they still don’t feel good,” I responded, swinging my legs off the side of the bed. I stood, and stretched as best I could without aggravating any of my wounds. “Let me go eat, then we can change my bandages.” I padded out into the hold, where the little one was sitting at the table. He cooed at me and outstretched his arms as he saw me. 

“Hello there little one!” I said, scooping him up and sitting down at the table. “Have you eaten yet?” I asked. A modest breakfast was set out; some bread, some fruit preserves, and some caf. I started eating, giving the kid a piece of bread to munch on as well. Once I was finished, I put the little one in his alcove with some of his toys. “Alright, I need to go change my bandages, but then we can play, alright?” He cooed, apparently content with my explanation, sitting in the small room and picking up a toy. I smiled, and returned to the bedroom. Mando was still digging around in various drawers, searching for something.

“Anything I can help with?” I asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Not… that I’d be too much help, I’ve been conscious on the ship for what, 20 collective minutes?”

Mando shook his head. “No, it’s fine, the kid just… likes to hide things from me,” he said. “If you see a little silver knob with a hole in one side, though, that belongs up in the cockpit.”

I smiled. “So, he likes collecting little shiny things,” I said, watching him as he turned towards the door.

“Evidently,” he responded. “I’ll go grab new bandages.”

I nodded, and he left the room briefly, returning with the same supplies he had yesterday. I moved over to make room for him next to me, then lifted up my shirt to uncover the puncture wound from the splinter. He gently peeled the bacta patches off. They looked significantly better, but there was still a nasty bruise around the entry and exit wounds that spread all the way around my side. I also noticed some bruises up around my ribs from where the beam had pressed me into the ground. I grimaced a bit. He gently cleaned away some dried blood with a sterile wipe, then applied more bacta patches to the wounds.

I cleared my throat, deciding to make conversation. “I… wanted to apologize,” I said. “For uh… my big mouth. I shouldn’t have assumed that you were the kid’s father figure a couple days ago. And my comment earlier this morning.”

“You don’t need to apologize for that,” he said, pressing down the new bacta patches for good measure, then turning back to his supplies. He lifted up the short sleeve of my shirt, taking away the bacta patch from my graze, then replacing it with a new one. “Can you take your shirt off again?” he asked.

I nodded, turning away from him and carefully taking it off, not wanting to jostle the burnt skin on my back too much. I brought the blanket on the bed up to my chest to cover it. “I… maybe not, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” I said. “You hired me to do a job, to help you out, not to… be a nuisance.”

He peeled the bacta patch off my back and I hissed quietly, the skin still tender. Using a new wipe, he started to clean that wound up too. “You’re not a nuisance,” he assured me. “This burn looks better. You have some blisters, but it should be healed soon.”

“That’s good,” I said, though I’m not sure to which statement. “Still. If I ever make you uncomfortable, just… tell me to shut the hell up. Sometimes my mouth outruns my brain.”

“You don’t make me uncomfortable,” he said, a little bit more force in his voice. He sprayed down more bacta to my burn which made me yelp pathetically, then pressed a new bacta patch to the wound. Once he was done, he started gathering up his supplies again, throwing away the old bandages and used supplies.

“I would say I’m fascinated by you, but that makes you sound like… a science experiment, or a museum exhibit. You’re not, you’re a real living person,” I said. I shook my head, turning to him, my hand still gripping the blanket to my chest. “Thank you for taking care of this for me.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, nodding. “I’ll let you get dressed. Come up to the cockpit once you’re ready, you should know where everything is there if you want to fly this thing.”

I nodded, smiling a bit. “Sounds good.” He left, the door to the bedroom closing behind him. I rubbed a hand down my face. Surely I was just pushing him away at this point, which maybe wasn’t the best plan for a new employer, but whatever. Maybe I wasn’t making him uncomfortable now, but things can change. I sighed, setting down the blanket and standing, pulling on some new clothes. Black pants that I could move easily in, and a black top that wrapped around me. I walked out of the room and into the extremely tiny refresher on board, and redid my braids in the mirror there. I approached the ladder and took a deep breath, knowing this was going to agitate my burn, and possibly my other injuries. I started climbing anyway, pushing the pain to the back of my mind. I pulled myself up into the cockpit, where Mando was sitting facing the main viewport, fiddling with some controls in the light blue hue of hyperspace. He swiveled around, and stood, gesturing for me to sit.

I took his spot and turned towards the dashboard, looking over the controls. I placed my hands over the controls for takeoff, but didn’t toggle any; just a dress rehearsal. It had been far too long since I’d been flying. I smiled as I completed the circuit.

“Like riding a bike,” I commented. “She’s definitely pre-Empire, but a ship’s a ship, huh?”

Mando didn’t verbally respond. I continued on hovering my hand over certain controls to feign different parts of a flight path, but my hand stopped when I arrived at a lever with bare threads at the top. “Ah. This is what the little one stole,” I said.

“He loves that knob,” Mando responded. “I’m not sure why.”

I shrugged. “Kids will be kids,” I said. “Well, I can definitely fly this thing. Nice to have legroom, don’t get that much on X-wings.” I swiveled around and stood again, switching spots with Mando, then sitting down in the co-pilot’s chair. “You’ve taken good care of this ship. With both of us here we’ll be able to keep her flying for a long time to come.”

“That’s the idea,” he said.

There was a moment of silence, and I chewed my lip slightly, trying to figure out something to say. He seemed focused on something on the control panel, but again, he was extremely difficult to read with that helmet.

“So, tell me about yourself,” I said, finally, figuring this was a fairly safe thing to start with.

“I’m a Mandalorian,” he responded shortly. “Not much else to know.”

I rolled my eyes. One of those. “Oh, come on, there’s more to you than that, isn’t there?” I asked. Silence. “Alright, fine, fine, I won’t prod.”

“What about you?” he asked.

I made a face. “That hardly seems fair,” I answered. He looked over his shoulder at me, and I instinctively raised my hands a little bit. “Okay, okay! That’s fine. I’m Thessa Emereas, former Rebel pilot, from Corelia but I kind of grew up all over the place. Joined the Rebellion when I was 19, guarded Rebellion command cruisers at the Battle of Yavin the same year. Earned two Redbirds, a Group Commander Citation, and a Superior Service Medal during my time there. Settled on Lothal a little over six years later, and here we are. I like to read, and I can speak Huttese pretty well.”

“That’s quite the resume,” he said.

I shrugged. “Not as long as most,” I said. “I’m 28, some people my age have three times the achievements.”

“Don’t downplay your ability,” he responded.

I smiled a bit. “Whatever you say, Mando,” I said. “So, any plans?”

He shook his head. “Not concrete ones. Just need to find a new planet to lay low on that might get me some work,” he said.

I nodded a little bit, silence filling the room again. I’m not sure if it was a completely uncomfortable silence, but it was for me. I drummed my fingers against my leg, trying to think of something else to say or do to resume conversation. He was definitely not a talker.

“So, when you said you thought you solved the problem about… the kid, yesterday, what did you mean?” I asked.

He practically froze in place, his hand curling into a fist. “The kid was a quarry. The client was an ex-Imperial,” he started. “On Nevarro a few months ago, we went to confront the client. If we killed the client, the rest of the Imps would scatter, and no one would be after the kid anymore. Turns out the client was an agent.”

“For the real client?” I inferred.

“Moff Gideon.”

I narrowed my eyes and shook my head. “What? That’s impossible, Moff Gideon was executed for war crimes,” I said. I remembered that happening fairly clearly.

“Except he wasn’t,” Mando continued. “And apparently he survived our time on Nevarro and is after the kid again.”

I was having a difficult time wrapping my head around this. I mean, I trusted that what he was saying was the truth, and he had near-concrete evidence that the man he encountered was Moff Gideon, but all the same… that’s a lot. Mando’s been through a lot.

“Why does he want the kid?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he said. “But the kid is my responsibility, and I _will_ keep him safe. He’s my foundling.” He was getting a little fired up at this point.

“Foundling?”

A pause. “He’ll be a Mandalorian one day. Once he’s… grown enough. I’m supposed to act as his father,” he said. “Which is why you don’t need to apologize for what you said.”

I nodded, thinking about this for a moment. “Well, I knew it was important to keep him safe before, but now it just got more serious,” I said, smiling to try and lighten the mood a little bit. “You have my word that I’ll do everything I can to help you keep the kid safe.”

“I appreciate it.”

Another somewhat awkward silence. I didn’t want to press the subject of the kid and this apparently-cockroach-like Moff, so I needed to change it entirely.

“You know,” I started. “I meant to also apologize for… getting into your personal space and kissing your helmet last night.”

“It’s fine,” he said. “Like I said earlier, you don’t make me uncomfortable.”

Then my mouth outran my brain again. “It’s just… I’d be, uh, lying if I said I… didn’t wish I could’ve actually kissed your cheek,” I said, making a face at myself once I processed what I’d said. I fought the urge to throw myself back down into the hold and shut myself in the refresher for the rest of my life.

Mando swiveled his chair around to face me, and I felt my cheeks heat up. This was it. A day and a half of being this guy’s new crewmember and you have officially screwed it up, Emereas. I swallowed nervously. But then he… _joked?_ “Just the cheek, huh?”

My jaw fell open, and I quickly started stuttering an excuse. “W-well, I don’t-- I did just say, about overstepping, and I mean, it’s a greeting in some places, right? Sometimes people just kiss people on the cheek, and I didn’t--”

“It’s okay,” he said, cutting me off. He leaned forward and gently placed a hand on my knee. I slowly, almost nervously placed my hand over his. “I just want to make sure you… know what you’re getting yourself into,” he said. He almost sounded… sad, like whatever he was going to say was going to scare me off.

I furrowed my brow. “What do you mean?” I asked. “I’m already here, prepared to help, ready to fight, and I’ll do my best at it. What else could I possibly need to worry about?” Then I processed what he meant by what he said; he also had feelings for me? What was going on?

His grip on my knee tightened ever so slightly. “You know you can’t see my face,” he said, quietly, _nervously._ “That seems to be important to most people.”

I shook my head a little bit. “Mando, I’d never ask you to do something you weren’t comfortable with,” I said. I tightened my own grip on his hand, leaning forward towards him, searching under his visor for his eyes. “I have feelings for _you,_ not… what you might be, could be, whatever. The whole thing, armor and all. I’m not most people.”

His other hand came forward to my face, placing it on my cheek. I covered that one as well, holding it there. Despite the thick leather of the gloves, he felt warm, alive. “Thank you.” I didn’t miss the small crack in his voice. I smiled.

“I… sort of had a feeling I knew what I was getting into,” I said. “I can’t explain it. But… I dunno, I got butterflies when I first saw you standing in my inn. I guess I just knew.” I paused. “I, uh, can now say that I wasn’t kidding when I said we should share the bed, by the way.”

He laughed softly. I knew he did this time, it was more pronounced than the soft crackle I had heard before. My smile widened; it was a beautiful sound. “That sounds okay to me.”

I stood, pulling him with me, then wrapped him in a hug. He seemed… tense, at first, like he was surprised by the contact, but reciprocated the gesture after a moment. His armor was cold against my skin, making me break out in goosebumps. I wondered if he took it off to rest. Surely he must, right? It can’t possibly be comfortable. I guess I’d find out. We stayed like that for a while; it had been a long time since I’d had something like this, and I was sure it was the same for him. I pulled away slightly after a while.

“I’m gonna go check on the kid. Let me know if you need anything,” I said softly. I descended back into the hold and fulfilled my earlier promise to the kid, setting up to play with him. I glanced back up at the cockpit, smiling still, a bit dumbly. Alright, well. I wasn’t expecting that to go so smoothly. It was… surprising to find out he had similar feelings for me, too. I wasn’t anything special, though I’m sure he thought the same about himself. Still, I wasn’t going to let him down for why he truly brought me on board, which was to look after this little one and work with him on jobs. Turns out the benefits might be pretty good, too.

* * *

That kid was still exhausting, even in the somewhat contained environment that was the Razor Crest. I had finally gotten the little one to go to sleep after a seemingly hours-long struggle, and was just climbing into bed myself when Mando entered the bedroom.

“Hey,” I said, sitting in bed, smiling at him. “Offer still stands. Plenty of room,” I patted the bed next to me.

“I hoped it did,” he responded. “How’s your back?”

“Fine, much better tonight, actually,” I answered. “It didn’t hurt too much to change my shirt.”

“Good,” he said. “I’m glad.” He sat on the edge of the bed, and I placed my hand over his. His other hand came up to my cheek again, brushing his thumb over my cheekbone, tracing gently over a scar there. We stayed there like that for a moment, and I would’ve been content to just do that forever. After a bit, he spoke again.

“There’s something else you should know,” he started. “If things go in that direction, anyway.” His tone sounded almost playful, like this wasn’t nearly as serious as what we had talked about before.

I smiled slightly, a questioning look in my eyes. “What’s that?”

There was a pause, his hand going down to trace over my jaw. “I tend to _play rough,_ ” he stated, that playful tone joined by a certain gravelly quality that sent shivers down my spine and started something coiling in my core.

“Rough, huh? I can handle that,” I said, a smile spreading across my face. I placed my free hand on his shoulder, rubbing slightly. “I have to admit, I wasn’t sure that this was even going to be… allowed.”

“We have our ways.” His hand slipped down from my face and to my hip, fingers slowly sneaking under my shirt, starting to creep up from there. “I can always tone it down, it’s only fun if you’re having fun,” he said, quieter now. “But you did say you wanted all of me.” I could almost hear a smirk on his lips that I desperately wanted to kiss off of them, but I would have to live with the fact I couldn’t.

“Now I’m going to need a taste of what you mean,” I said, suggestiveness dripping in my voice. “Maybe this is my chance to curse under better circumstances.”

“Under one condition,” he said. “If this irritates any of your injuries or you don’t like something, you tell me.”

I nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

His hand stopped creeping up my side and he pulled it away entirely, much to my disdain. He got up off the bed and took a few paces, still facing me. “Get undressed.” This was not a question or a suggestion. It was an order. And I found myself wanting, _needing_ to obey.

I slowly removed my shirt, which was significantly easier this evening than it had been previously, and thankfully had no bra to fuss with since I was already in bedclothes. I tossed it aside, quickly followed by my pants, then I hesitated, hooking my thumbs in the waistband of my panties. I looked up at Mando and he nodded, so I bit my lip and slipped them off too, adding them to the pile on the floor. I sat there, awkwardly, a blush starting to creep across my face, down to my chest. I felt so bare, and it was emphasized by the contrast of him being in full armor, studying me through his visor.

I sat on the edge of the bed and he approached again, his gloved fingers tracing over the bruises on my ribs and chest from where the beam had pressed me into the ground. His body language told me that he was still a bit upset about that, but I put my hand over his and smiled at him. It was fine, not to be dwelled on here, not now. He pulled away, and took a couple steps back, sitting in the chair he kept in the corner. His legs spread slightly, and his arms went up and over the back. He tilted his head back and to the side a bit. This posture made him look wider, bigger, more… dominating. I bit my lip a bit, awaiting his next move nervously.

“Touch yourself.”

Maker. I immediately scrambled back to the center of the bed, letting my legs fall open. As nervous as he made me feel sometimes, especially now, I didn’t want to second guess or disobey him. He made it very clear he was in control with four words and the way he was sitting, and I was desperate to please. My hand snaked down my body, the other keeping me propped up on the bed. I gasped softly as I brushed over my clit, almost surprised with myself with how wet I had gotten in the past few minutes. I dipped a finger closer to my entrance, then back up, beginning to rub soft circles around my bud. I wished it was the man across from me doing this. I imagined it was, a soft moan escaping my lips at the thought.

“Wet already?” he asked, clearly rhetorical, definitely teasing. He shifted slightly in his seat, his head tilting to the other side. I wanted to be on that lap. Maybe soon. “You must really want this.”

“I do,” I responded, my voice breathy as I eyed over him, wondering what the rest of this evening would hold. Gasps and moans escaped me as I continued showing off for him, my body already feeling like it was on fire. I bit my lip and hummed as I slipped one, two fingers inside, searching for that sensitive spot, my other hand joining in to continue to give attention to my clit.

“What are you thinking about?”

“How much I wish it was you doing this,” I answered, tone the same, lost in my own ministrations as my head rolled back. I let out another moan as I successfully found a sensitive spot, beginning to curl my fingers against it. I tried my best to pace myself so we could both get the most out of this. All the same, I was getting closer with each passing second to a beautiful release.

“You’re even more beautiful like this.” That was an earnest remark.

“Mm… thanks,” I said, a grin spreading across my face. I was getting closer, and closer, and closer… then right on the edge… “Mando…”

“Stop.”

The command came, but every fiber of my being wanted me to finish, to go over the edge, so I merely slowed, a slightly confused look on my face. He then leaned forward and roughly snatched one of my hands away from what I was doing, making me gasp in surprise. I felt my face flush, and I froze in place.

“I said, _stop._ ”

I swallowed. Normally, that would’ve been absolutely terrifying, but in this setting, it was just intoxicating. I pulled my other hand away, waiting for his next order, pouting at him teasingly. He then began to remove pieces of his armor, methodically, placing each piece down with care. Despite the situation, with me being entirely naked in front of him, masturbating enthusiastically for him, this felt especially risqué. Once they were all off and he was left in the soft clothing underneath, he picked up something I couldn’t quite discern, and came over to the bed, sitting next to me, still managing to loom over me. He gently grabbed my wrist and brought my hand up to my mouth, and I parted my lips, bringing the fingers that had just been deep within me into it, sucking them clean. I searched for his eyes under his visor, taking my time with what I was doing. Once I was done, I removed them from my lips, waiting for the next step.

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

“Absolutely,” I answered, smiling a bit still.

He held up what he had grabbed a moment ago: a thick piece of black cloth. He took it in both hands and brought it up to my eyes. I closed my eyes and moved my head forward slightly, silent consent to the blindfold. He tied it around my head, securing the knot, then pulled his hands away.

“Can you see anything?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Not a thing.”

“Good. Can you lay back?” he asked. Still concerned about my injury.

“Yeah,” I answered, doing just that. He guided my head towards a pillow, and I shifted, getting comfortable. I heard fabric slip somewhere near him, then I felt what it was.

Bare fingers traced over my collarbone, goosebumps breaking out in a trail behind them. His hand moved down, over the curve of my breast, then he brushed his thumb over my nipple, which eagerly hardened under his touch. He did the same to the other, then pinched it, not too roughly but not softly either, making me moan and arch up into his touch. Again, I could’ve sworn I heard him laugh softly. He ran both hands down my sides, taking care not to drag or press on my injury on one. His weight shifted, and he straddled over me. I grinned a bit, my hips shifting under him. I heard a quiet thunk just to the side of my head where the table next to the bed was. He replaced his hands on my breasts, and I could feel him hard through his pants against my lower tummy. Then I realized what the thunk was.

_His helmet._

His lips crashed against mine, and I wrapped my arms around him despite my underlying shock, pressing myself further into the kiss. It was sloppy, rough, full of tongue, and he bit my lips as he got the chance. He did have facial hair, as I predicted in one of my many daydreams; it wasn’t unpleasant, but scratched against my upper lip. After a moment of this, I pulled away just enough to speak.

“I thought you said…” I started.

“Shh, I said you couldn’t see my face,” he clarified. Then he started kissing me again, his tongue pressing into my mouth, mine pressing back into his.

We continued like this for a long while, and I wouldn’t complain if the intimacy for tonight stopped here. But eventually, he began to kiss his way down my jaw, to my neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses down the column of my throat. He made a detour to where my shoulder meets my neck, nibbling there gently, making me gasp. He slowly worked his way across my collarbone, then further down, sweeping his tongue over an already hard nipple. He gently bit down and tugged, then sucked the flesh there, making me groan. My own hand then found its way into his hair--thick, curly, but not quite as curly as my own, just long enough for me to get my fingers through. He kissed his way down my tummy, stopping right before where I really wanted him. I pulled on his hair gently, one of my legs wrapping around him needily. “Mando…”

“If you ask nicely, I might give you what you want,” he said, his voice even smoother without the modulator in the way, deep and teasing, rich like chocolate.

“Please…”

“Please what?”

“Please, I wanna… feel your mouth on me, eating me out… Please, Mando…”

“ _Good girl._ ”

The words alone made me moan, but not nearly as loud as when his tongue flicked over my swollen clit and he slowly worked two fingers, much thicker than my own, into me. Like magic, he immediately found a sweet spot inside, and began curling against it relentlessly. “Mando!” I nearly shouted, my fingers gripping into his hair like I’d fly away if I let go, my legs pressing into his back harder. He sucked on my sensitive bud, making my hips buck up into his face and my walls flex around his fingers. I was already worked up from before, so it did not take long for me to be teetering once again on the edge of an orgasm. And the change in my breathing and clenching of my muscles must’ve given me away, because he stopped fairly suddenly, and I was once again left unsatisfied. I let out a whimper, still holding onto his hair but letting my leg fall off of him. “No… please…”

“You only asked me to eat you out, Thessa. Isn’t that what I did?” he asked, that teasing tone in his voice thicker than ever. “Try again.”

“Mando, please, make me cum, I wanna cum, please!” I begged, desperation obvious in my voice that I didn’t even intend to be there. This man had an unexpected power over me, but I absolutely loved it.

He crawled back up the bed, and kissed me again. I could taste myself on his lips, which only made me moan into his mouth softly. He took one of my hands in his and guided it down between us. He freed his cock from his pants, and then wrapped my hand around it. I swept my thumb over the head, which earned me a moan from his lips. One of the most beautiful noises I’d heard from him. I took one stroke, getting a feel for his length and girth before I lined him up with my entrance. He was… _big._

“Holy shit…” I murmured, biting my lip. I pulled him forward, just a bit, getting him started, which made us both moan. He buried his face in my neck again, and I replaced one hand in his hair, another going around his back. He still had his clothes on, but without the armor he felt… more real, warm, rough, alive.

He began working his way into me, allowing me to adjust to him as he worked. Eventually he had sheathed himself completely, then pulled out, and thrust back in, fairly hard. I moaned out, my hips bucking into him, but my burn protested and I inhaled sharply. He immediately stopped.

“Are you okay?” he asked, sitting up slightly and brushing a strand of hair from my face.

I nodded. “Fine, just shifted on my burn wrong,” I said, readjusting my shoulders slightly and pulling him back down to me.

“Good. I want you to enjoy this,” he said, his voice practically a growl, but I could hear his grin all the same. 

He started thrusting once again, his size not missing a single sensitive spot against my walls, making me moan and sigh pretty well constantly. It once again did not take long for me to approach climax; the two times I’ve been brought to the edge this evening made me very sensitive. My grip in his hair tightened again and I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him into me some without hindering his movement too much. His grunts and groans were music to my ears as he started to get lost in his own pleasure, my walls occasionally rippling around him only spurring him on, and hinting at my closeness. Even though I was blindfolded, my eyes were screwed shut, focused entirely on this feeling of us being here together, never wanting it to end. For better or for worse, though, the tension building inside me couldn’t be held back any longer. “Mando! Mando, I’m gonna…”

“ _Ask permission._ ”

I shuddered, jolting towards the finish line. “Mando, please, can I cum? Please, please let me cum,” I begged, that breathy tone returning, trying to hold off the oncoming crash for just a few more seconds.

He seemed satisfied with that. He kissed me again, biting my lip, then bent down to my ear and growled, “ _Cum for me, Thessa._ ”

“Oh, _fuck,_ Mando!” I practically screamed, pulling on his hair harder than ever, which elicited a moan from him. I’d say these are much better circumstances. My walls squeezed around his member deliciously, earning me even more moans from his lips. I kept my grip in his hair as I rode out my orgasm, allowing him to draw every last moment out of it that he could… but he still didn’t stop, and I saw stars behind the blindfold. “Mando!” I said, a hoarse attempt at a shout, but soon I felt why he hadn’t stopped. His hips pressed down, and he came, groaning.

“Thessa!” His tone matched mine as he said my name, a sound I would never tire of hearing. He rode his own orgasm out for a few more thrusts, then gently, slowly pulled out. I whimpered at the now-unfamiliar feeling of emptiness, untangled my hand from his hair, and let my legs fall from around his hips. I replaced my hands on his cheeks, and pulled him forward into a kiss, which he obliged. It was sweet, gentle, passionate this time; no teeth, just a kiss. I could do this for the rest of my life. Eventually, though, he fell to my side, and I turned to face him, making sure my blindfold stayed secure. I reached down for his hand, which had found a resting spot on my hip, and took it in my own, starting to study it with my touch. Calloused, scarred, but still soft and warm. These hands have worked hard and _Maker_ they were talented. I smiled softly, starting to trace over the lines of his palm.

“That was… amazing,” I finally said.

“It was. _You_ were,” he said, his free hand coming up and running through my hair. It gave me chills. Once again, another thing I could just do with him for the rest of time.

“And I assume that it was just a taste?” I asked. “My injuries are… somewhat limiting.”

“Mhm. Once you’re healed, if you’re interested, things will get more fun,” he said. I pulled him forward once again for a kiss. After a moment, though, he shifted and got up. I frowned, but knew it had to come eventually. Then he left the room, though, which confused me for a moment before I heard him return and felt the bed shift. He gently turned me back onto my back, and pulled my legs apart. I felt a damp cloth against my skin, cleaning me up.

“Thank you,” I said, smiling.

He hummed in response. I heard metal scrape against tabletop, and I knew he was putting back on his helmet. The slip of fabric gave away his gloves. Then he removed my blindfold, setting it aside. I felt guilty at the slight pang of disappointment when he did, in fact, have his helmet back on, but pushed that entire train of thought away. I reached for his hand, then pulled him down to lay next to me. We settled in, and I snuggled up against his chest. It was perfect, like we were made to lay here like this. His hand came around to my lower back, pulling me into him slightly.

“Good night,” I mumbled.

“Good night.” Despite his voice being modulated again, the edge was taken off by our closeness; I could hear the words rumble in his chest. We fell asleep like that, curled together, for the first time of many.

* * *

At some point in the night, I bolted straight up in bed, panting, trying to catch my breath. I… knew I was having a nightmare, but… was it about…? The memories of the dream were fading too fast, and I couldn’t remember. Before I got a chance to think about it too hard, I realized Mando was sitting up next to me.

“Is everything okay?” he asked. “I was about to wake you, you were making quite a bit of noise.”

“Yeah, sorry to wake you,” I responded, my breathing turning back to normal. “Bad dream, I guess. I’ll be fine.”

I laid back down, and Mando took my hand in his and squeezed gently. He placed his hand on my cheek again, brushing some hair out of the way, then pulled me in against his chest again. “I don’t know if this is what you need to hear, but you’re safe here with me,” he said.

I smiled softly, closing my eyes again. “I’m not sure if it is either, but I’m thankful for it all the same,” I said, and drifted back to sleep, comfortable and restful for the rest of the night.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. I frowned a bit, but Mando struck me as an early riser, so I wasn’t too terribly surprised. Still, somewhat disappointing. I yawned, stretching, being a little bit more mindful of my burn this time around, although the bacta we were putting on it was making quick work of healing it. I was mainly concerned about the wound on my side at this point. I got out of bed, and pulled on the bedclothes I discarded last night, pulling my hair out of their braids. I walked out into the hold, where Mando and the child were sitting across the small table there as if they were having a very serious conversation. Well, like Mando was having a very serious conversation, though that may just be because that helmet makes him look serious all the time. The child was happily eating a sweet roll for breakfast. My heart swelled at the sight.

“Well, that’s not a very healthy breakfast for a growing boy,” I said somewhat sarcastically, walking across the hold to join them at the table.

“He was very persuasive,” Mando said, reaching his hand out across the table.

“I’m sure he was,” I responded, smiling. I met his hand halfway with mine, and our fingers interlocked. The child cooed happily, looking at Mando. “Is that your blessing for us?” I asked, taking my other hand and patting him on the head gently. He gurgled, apparently pleased, in response. “I guess that’s a yes.”

“That’s a relief, I’m not sure what I would’ve done without it,” Mando said, smile audible in his voice, squeezing my hand lightly. “We should change your bandages again.”

I nodded. “Yeah. I’m not quite hungry yet, but I also… got sweaty last night, so let me run through the shower first, then we can take care of it,” I said.

“Okay. I’ll grab the supplies I need.”

I got up and went back to the bedroom, digging through my bag for a towel and a change of clothes. I took the towel with me to the refresher, and turned the water on, warm but not so hot it would aggravate my burn. As the water warmed up, I took off my old bandages, scowling at the dried blood still there. The injuries that I could see looked a lot better, but the wound on my side was still bruised pretty badly and was a little tender to the touch. I stepped in and washed up, taking time to wash my hair and gently clean away any dried blood on my wounds, then stepped out. I dried my hair quickly, wrapped the towel around myself, then returned to Mando’s room, where he was just setting down the supplies we needed for my wounds.

“Clean hair is one of the best feelings in the galaxy,” I said, just to make conversation. I sat on the edge of the bed and he sat next to me. I let my towel fall out of the way, no longer caring much about modesty given the romp we had last night. “Yours… probably doesn’t stay terribly clean for long, though, does it?”

He chuckled softly, starting to place new bandages on the wound on my side. “No, but this armor is newer. It keeps me cooler than my older set.”

“So instead of dripping, it’s just damp,” I joked.

“Exactly.” He began to dress the burn on my back, then paused. “Can I ask you about this scar down here?” He traced his fingers over it. “It’s… very pronounced.”

I swallowed. My heart started racing. The shrapnel from the crash. I hadn’t thought about that in a long time, and I was caught completely off guard. “I-I crashed.” Flashes of memories from the accident came back. Arguing with my superiors. Getting hit. Falling out of the cockpit to the ground. Pulling out the shard of metal. Seeing my colleague impaled on a branch. Nearly getting caught in the blast of another crash. Stormtroopers. “It… was a bad place to crash. Got in over our heads.” Not going down without a fight. “I-It’s a miracle I lived. If I’d have been two meters away from where I landed I-I would’ve gotten caught in another crash. A-and the metal,” I stuttered, tracing over the L-shape of the scar, “bent in j-just the right spot. Missed my spine.” I realized at this point that I was crying. How long had I been crying?

Mando had long since finished dressing my burn, but he hadn’t made an attempt to start with my shoulder. He turned me to face him. “Are you okay? You look pale.”

“I’m fine,” I said. “I just… I haven’t thought about it in a l-long time, and I wasn’t expecting you to a-ask.” I avoided looking where Mando’s eyes would be, and looked down, my brow furrowed as if in thought. And I was, sort of; I couldn’t wipe the look of that pilot’s face locked in terror with a branch through his chest from my mind. That was my fault. Mando gently wiped the tears from my face.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, I shouldn’t have asked,” he said, calmly, taking my hand in his again.

“It’s okay. It was b-bound to happen at one point or another.” But the tears kept coming, and the panic set in. It was suddenly hard to breathe, and I brought my hand up to my chest. There were so many stormtroopers on the ground there. How did I survive? Should I have survived?

“Thessa?” Mando asked, squeezing my hand a little bit more. “Thessa, it’s okay. I’m right here. Nothing can hurt you right now. It’s safe. I still need to bandage your shoulder, can I do that?”

I looked at him, almost surprised. He was the last person I would expect to know exactly how to help someone having a panic attack, but here we were. I nodded. “Yes,” I managed to gasp out. Despite his literally steely exterior, he really could be so caring when he wanted to be.

He sprayed down bacta, and I watched as he unwrapped a bacta patch and pressed it to my shoulder. He moved slowly, staying in my field of vision the whole time. I did my best to focus on his actions and steady my breathing rather than the train of thought that got me here. I closed my eyes and took a slow, deep breath. Mando’s hand went back to mine and squeezed gently again. I turned a bit more and hugged him, the cold of his armor against my skin almost grounding in a way.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, sniffling a bit.

“Of course. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. Especially if it’s going to make you panic like that,” he said quietly, gently pulling me into him.

“Okay. I… Thank you,” I said again, nodding. We stayed embraced like that for several minutes, until I’d calmed down significantly. I took another deep breath. “Let me get dressed. Then maybe we can talk about where we want to go next.”

“That sounds good,” Mando replied, pulling away. He stayed seated, and was quiet for a moment before speaking again. “Din.”

I blinked. “Sorry?”

“Since we’re… sharing personal things. My name is Din,” he said. “Din Djarin.”

 _Oh._ “Din. That’s… a wonderful name,” I said, smiling. It felt right on my tongue, like I’d known it all along. I pulled him in for a shorter hug. “Thank you for all of this.”

“You’re welcome. Come up to the cockpit when you’re ready,” he said, giving my hand one more squeeze before standing up and leaving me to get dressed. How in the galaxy did I get so lucky?

I quickly got dressed, put my hair in its braids, then ascended the ladder to the cockpit, sitting in the co-pilot’s seat.

“Okay, Din,” I said, smiling. “Where to?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sparring gets spicy, Din gets a well-earned backrub

Several weeks pass. It’s been going extremely well. We’ve been to a handful of planets, met a lot of people some of who I’m glad I never have to see again, had a close call or two. My wounds healed well, the burn and the graze nearly gone, but I would definitely have a permanent scar where that piece of wood was lodged in my side. Just another badge of honor. I was still occasionally having nightmares I couldn’t quite remember, but something told me I wasn’t in a good place, wasn’t ready to get to the bottom of it yet.

Mando… _Din_ and I were getting closer as time passed. He hasn’t mentioned the issue with Moff Gideon since it came up back on Lothal, and I wasn’t about to bring it up. I’m sure he had his reasons. He also probably had his reasons for the fact that nothing much more exciting than that first night we slept together had transpired; I think he was a little concerned about the nightmare I had the night of and the panic attack I had the day after, which was reasonable. I also didn’t want to rush him into something he wasn’t ready for, so I just patiently waited until that day came.

One evening, while we were staying on some barely-populated planet in the middle of nowhere, Din and I were killing some time by sparring. I genuinely don’t remember whose idea it was, but we both agreed it couldn’t hurt (in the long run, anyway). It would improve my never-very-good-in-the-first-place hand-to-hand skills, and give us something to do while we killed time laying low.

“Din, c’mon, you gotta ease up on me here, that beskar is not forgiving,” I huffed. He threw a right hook which I ducked out of the way of, allowing me to land a kick on his side.

“Real enemy won’t ease up on you,” he said, grunting at the kick. “Good one.”

“Thanks,” I said, smiling as we paced around each other. I aimed a punch in for his shoulder, just inside his pauldron, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a loose headlock. “Well, that wasn’t it.”

“No, it wasn’t,” he responded. I was getting better at easily telling when he was smiling based on how he sounded. I looked over my shoulder at him and placed a hand on the side of his helmet, pressing my hips back into his, grinding just a bit. “We’re not done yet, Thessa.”

“Aw, what, not gonna let me flirt my way out of the situation?” I asked sarcastically as he let me go and we went back to slowly circling each other.

“Not this time,” he answered. “Hope you’re not intending to flirt with anyone else, though.” His tone made it obvious he was teasing.

“Not without your go-ahead,” I shrugged. “Who knows, threesome might be hot.”

He shook his head a little and I smirked at him, keeping an eye out for any movements. I was doing my best to get a little bit closer to him without him either noticing or getting an opening to exploit. Then, as quickly as I could, I moved forward, placing one foot between his and knocking him off balance, tackling him to the ground. I straddled over his lap triumphantly, smiling down at him as I squeezed my legs around him slightly but noticeably.

“Good. But next time,” he started, grabbing me and rolling us over, pinning me to the ground with my arms above my head. “Make sure I can’t do this.”

I bit my lip and grinned up at him, wiggling my hips under him, and puffing my chest out a bit to tease him. He leaned down, running his hand over my jaw and down my neck as he spoke. “Be careful, or I may punish you for being such a tease,” he said, hushed.

“You make that sound like a bad thing,” I said, cocking my head to the side and grinning defiantly up at him. He took his hand away from my neck.

“Be careful what you wish for,” he warned. He then let my wrists go and got off of me, offering me a hand to help me up. “You’re improving quite a bit. I’m impressed. Knowing most of our conflicts are with people who aren’t nearly as well armored.”

I smiled, taking his hand and lifting myself up off the ground, dusting some dirt off of me. “Thanks. Could work on a few things, but as they say, practice makes perfect,” I said. “And I have a damn good teacher.” We started to walk up the ramp back to the ship. The little one was standing at the top of the ramp, watching us intently as we practiced. The first time we sparred, the kid was not having any of it, and was very distraught about it. We did our best to explain that it was just practice, that we weren’t actually fighting, and he eventually calmed down. Even though he couldn’t speak to our knowledge, we think he got it. At least he hasn’t gotten worked up about it since.

He babbled happily at us as we entered the ship, surely telling us something important about his day. “You must be getting tired!” I told him as I scooped him up in my arms. “You had a big day chasing all those critters around in the grass!” He yawned in response and I smiled. “That’s what I thought. Let’s get you to bed,” I said, walking back to the kid’s little alcove and tucking him into his blankets. He closed his eyes and snuggled in, quickly falling asleep. It was so much better when he was really tired and just fell asleep right away like that. I smiled, closing the door to his room to keep the light out so he could sleep.

I was about to say something and head to the bedroom to change into bedclothes, but before I could even open my mouth to speak, Din had me pinned to the wall just outside the bedroom, arms above my head much the same as earlier. I gasped in surprise, but smiled, and his hand went between my legs, harshly rubbing my cunt through my pants. I moaned in response, grinding down into the touch as best I could.

“Already want it that bad, hm?” he asked, his grip on my wrists tightening.

“I always want you bad,” I answered, biting my lip and grinning at him.

“Go to the bedroom. Strip. Wait for me on the bed. You do not touch yourself. Your pleasure is entirely mine tonight, understand?” he ordered, hand still working between my legs.

I nodded. “Yes, Din,” I gasped.

Seemingly satisfied with this, he gave me one last hard rub, then let me go. I quickly walked into the bedroom, door shutting behind me. I took my clothes off and tossed them in a pile to the side, then sat on the edge of the bed, crossing my legs almost as if to lock myself away from the temptation of touching myself and proving to Din that I didn’t. I was already getting wet just thinking about where this was going; he hadn’t started anything quite like this before. A couple more excruciating minutes passed and he came into the bedroom, carrying a pair of binders usually reserved for quarries. I looked them over curiously.

“I don’t have a bounty on my head now, do I?” I asked sarcastically, smiling at him.

“No,” he said, “but I’m still going to use them on you. Hands out.”

“Or what?” I asked defiantly, keeping my hands at my sides.

He grabbed one wrist roughly from where it was, snapping one side of the binders around it harshly, making me gasp. “You’re already on thin ice. If I wasn’t going to punish you before, I certainly am now,” he said. I made no intention of moving, and he repeated his rough gesture with the other hand. He forced a knee between my legs, making me uncross them, and leaned over me. He took my chin in his hand, making me look at him. “You ask to cum. You do not touch yourself. If you break those rules, I’m going to spank you,” he growled. It probably sounded a lot harsher than it was because of the modulator, but it was still incredibly hot. I could feel more warmth pool between my legs. “And I’m already going to because you were difficult, and for being such a tease earlier.” He brushed one hand down my chest, quickly finding a nipple and pinching, hard. I gasped, my chest arching into his touch. “But, most importantly, if you need me to stop, just say _ke’pare_.”

“K… what? What does that mean?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“ _Ke’pare._ It means ‘wait’ in Mando’a,” he said, pausing what his hands were doing on my body. “I’ll know you need me to stop what I’m doing.”

I nodded as best I could given Din’s hand was still holding my chin. “ _Ke’pare…_ ” I said, testing the word out first. “Okay. Got it.”

“Your accent isn’t bad,” he commented.

“Like I said earlier, I have a damn good teacher,” I said, smiling up at him.

His hand continued on down, and his finger slipped between my folds, brushing over my clit lightly, making me moan quietly. Din took his hand back and looked at his finger as if to investigate it. “You get so wet so fast. We’ll see how you like this.”

He grabbed my wrists and pulled me to stand up, taking my place sitting on the edge of the bed. Then he pulled me down over his lap, the cold metal of his armor pressing into my skin, making me break out in goosebumps. I could feel a slight blush coming on, which had become increasingly rare around Din as of late. Clearly I was more comfortable around him, bold enough to straight up tease him, but this had me at a new, and clear disadvantage.

He placed one hand at my lower back, the other taking a handful of my ass. I smiled a bit and pushed back into his hand, trying to prolong my teasing streak even though I knew where it had landed me. Right here, about to get spanked. “Such a tease,” he said again, feigning exasperation. “Five seems fair, doesn’t it?”

“Do I get a say in that?” I asked. As if to answer the question, his hand left my ass, then came down, hard. It stung, and I gasped, my back arching a little bit. But the heat between my legs only grew. He rubbed the skin where he had made contact, and I bit my lip again.

“No, not really,” he responded. I could hear his smirk in his voice. The second spank came, landing on the other cheek, just as hard as the last. I gasped again, a little louder. He continued this, alternating sides, and his force increased slightly as he went. At the fifth, I straight up moaned. My hips wiggled in his lap, my arousal nearly unbearable. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was literally dripping right in his lap. I wasn’t surprised that this situation turned me on, but I was surprised at how turned on it had me. I was partially convinced that if he continued, I’d climax from the spanking alone. But I was certainly not alone in this; I could feel Din growing hard against me. He rubbed my ass after the fifth spank, then repeated his previous gesture of running a single finger through my slit, making me moan quietly, a hint of frustration in my voice.

“And that just made you wetter,” he said. He unceremoniously lifted me off of his lap and and back on the bed. “Lay back.”

I did just that, scooting to the center of the bed and laying down on my back. Din stood to grab something, then came back with the blindfold. I lifted my head, and he tied it around my eyes, securing the knot behind my head.

“Can you see anything?”

“Not a thing.”

“Good.”

This exact exchange had happened a few times, and it quickly became commonplace. I waited patiently as he methodically took his armor off, followed closely by his helmet and gloves. I still wasn’t entirely sure what was allowed in the Way and what wasn’t, but maybe one day I could see at least that part. I shivered at the thought, as if watching him take off his gloves to see his skin was like getting a full-blown striptease from the man. I was expecting him to come to face level and kiss me, but he instead placed my hands above my head again and started kissing my neck. Not what I was hoping for, and I’m certain he knew that, but it still made me gasp. His bare hands began to trace lines up and down my body, feeling over every square inch as if to memorize it. He ducked his head down, enveloping one nipple in his mouth, pinching down on the other. I groaned, my chest pressing up into his touch. I desperately wanted to run my hands through his hair, touch his face, but, despite the fact he hadn’t explicitly stated it, it was fairly clear to me he wanted my hands to stay where they were. Assuming there had to be a compromise, I attempted to wrap a leg around him, but he grabbed it and pressed it back into the bed.

“Uh-uh. Stay still,” he ordered, force behind his voice despite its quietness. He kissed his way down the rest of my body, stopping to nibble on skin every so often, not hard, just enough to make me gasp or sigh. My hips rolled to try and meet his mouth, but he ran circles around where I wanted him. He kissed and bit down on the insides of my thighs, no doubt leaving marks for me to marvel at later. After what felt like an eternity of this, my frustration impossibly growing, he dove right in, going full force right out of the gate. He easily slid two of his deliciously thick fingers into me without giving me time to adjust, and started licking and sucking over my clit intensely. I moaned, loud enough I was scared I might just wake up the kid, my hips bucking at the sensation, and my eyes flying open behind the blindfold at the sudden intensity. “Stars, you’re loud,” Din mumbled, right before he gently but firmly bit down on my clit. I practically screamed, turning my head to muffle the noise in my arm. He chuckled lowly before continuing on what he was doing.

I was so riled up from before that it only took maybe a minute and a half of this before I was hurtling towards an orgasm. “Din! Fuck, Din, can I cum? Please, I need it, please let me cum!” I begged, writhing under his touch, desperation clear in my voice.

“Already? We’re nowhere near done, Thessa. How about I give you a taste?” His tone sounded almost sinister, but he didn’t say no, and he didn’t stop what he was doing, so despite my confusion I assumed this meant I was good to go. I reached the point of no return, but Din had other ideas. It was the absolute cruelest thing he’s ever done, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t incredibly hot. He stopped everything, pulling his hands and tongue away completely, and instead of sparks and waves of pleasure, it was like a blaster firing a blank. My muscles contracted for nothing, no satisfaction, no resolution, yet I knew I’d be oversensitive and I’d still have to work from the beginning to get to another climax.

I groaned, frustration saturating my voice. I almost wanted to cry I was so worked up. “Din, you… _uhg,"_ I complained, balling my hands into tight fists and twisting my hips to try and work out any tension I could.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get what you want soon enough,” Din mused, crawling up the bed to be eye level with me, brushing a stray strand of hair from my face. He then grabbed my hips and flipped us over. I adjusted, straddling him, and grinned. I planted my hands on his chest, gently scratching down it through the fabric there. I moved my whole body further down his legs and began to blindly fumble with his belt, but after a moment of no success, he reached down and took care of it for me, freeing his erection from his pants. I then brought my still-bound hands to my face, and slowly, wetly licked one of my palms. I heard a ragged breath come from him and my grin only widened. Once my palm was sufficiently wet, I took him in my hand, stroking up, then thumbing over the head, then again. I earned a noise from him, somewhere between a moan and a growl.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked, quietly, keeping him in my hand, pumping slowly.

“Uncharacteristic,” he commented. I’ll give him that, usually I just did what felt right.

“You made it very clear you’re in control here,” I responded.

His hands ran up my hips before I felt him sit up slightly and one hand found my hair, pulling me down to growl in my ear. “I want that tight pussy of yours around my cock.” The unfiltered, deep baritone of his voice sent shivers down my spine. I bit my lip. He let go of my hair and I sat back up, bringing my hips forward and up. I lined him up with my entrance and, despite my better judgement, did my best to impale myself in one swift motion. It felt like he was splitting me in half in the best way possible; he was very well endowed, and if I wasn’t as dripping wet as I was, that would’ve _really_ hurt. This elicited a moan from both of us.

I let myself adjust for a moment before beginning to move my hips, alternating between figure-8 and circular motions. Din gripped into my hips, holding me down to him, not hard at first, but as he approached his own climax, I was sure he was going to leave bruises there. Without thinking, my hands went in search of my clit with the goal of helping us both out. But I was quickly reminded that that was a mistake.

Din snatched my hands away from me and clicked his tongue. “What did I say earlier?”

I groaned in response, almost frustrated again, but I knew exactly what I did. I felt the bed shift as he sat up, pulling me off of him and over his lap. I let out another groan at the sudden feeling of emptiness.

“I’m only going to do five again, but I’m not going to be as lighthanded,” he said, lining up his strike by placing a hand on my ass again. I inhaled, and his hand came down, significantly harder than last time. I moaned, my thighs squeezing together. As he continued, my moans only got louder, and I was dizzyingly turned on. The fifth came down and my toes curled.

“F-fuck… Din, please…” I mumbled, lifting myself up with my hands on his thigh, leaning towards his face.

“Please what?” he asked, once again brushing some hair out of my face before lifting my chin towards him slightly, his other hand still rubbing my sensitive skin.

“Please, I wanna cum for you… for real this time, all over you… I’ll do anything…”

“Anything, hm?” He guided me off his lap, placing me face down on the bed, face in the pillows, my still-stinging ass in the air. I felt him climb up behind me, and he grabbed my hip with one hand, and lined himself up with my soaked entrance. He thrust forward, growling lowly as he did. I moaned out, my hands wanting to search for his wrist, but they were unfortunately attached and uncomfortably pinned beneath me. This position allowed Din to easily find every single sweet spot against my walls, making me moan out with practically every thrust. I wasn’t going to have a voice tomorrow. His fingers were digging into my hips again, squeezing down harder every now and again when my walls rippled around him. This also earned me those beautiful moans from him, which I would never get tired of hearing. Fairly soon, he settled into a steady rhythm of rubbing right against a blindingly good sensitive spot. It wasn’t long before I was once again spiralling towards a climax.

“Din! Fuck, fuck, fuck, can-- _shit,_ please, please, let me cum, I need--”

“Cum for me, Thessa, the whole thing this time,” he groaned, that smirk coming through in his voice again.

“Din!” I shouted, not caring a single bit about my volume level at this point. My orgasm crashed around me and I saw stars on the edges of my vision. My walls squeezed hard down around him, making him moan out again, which only spurred me on. Din slowed, and I rode out the rest of my climax, working out the last bits of tension before he slid out of me. I groaned, the feeling of emptiness once again foreign and somewhat unwelcome. I rolled over onto my back, allowing blood to flow back into my arms.

I was panting, a smile creeping onto my face. “Thank you,” I whispered, sitting up, moving towards him.

“That’s what happens when you’re good for me,” he said, reaching for my arm and pulling me into him.

“I dunno, I kinda like what you did when I wasn’t good for you,” I smirked, my hands finding his chest. I was trying to orient myself somewhat. “You didn’t finish. Let me fix that.”

I crawled towards the edge of the bed, carefully stepping off of it. I pulled Din along with me, and he sat on the edge of the bed. I got on my knees between his legs and used my cuffed hands to feel up his thighs to my current target. I took his cock in one hand, taking one stroke, not worrying too much about lubrication right now, as he was still slick with my wetness. This was going to be a little bit of a challenge given his size. I moved my head forward, somewhat awkwardly due to my blindness, and licked over the head almost teasingly slowly before wrapping my lips around it. He shuddered, and his hand went to my hair, tangling itself in it gently. I hummed, making his grip tighten, and lowered my head, taking more of him in, tasting myself on him. I began bobbing, taking more and more in as I worked. I gently scraped my teeth against the underside of his member, just once.

“ _Thessa,_ stars!” he exclaimed, tightening his grip in my hair even more, but not pulling me away. If I could have, I would’ve smiled. I took a deep breath in through my nose, swirled my tongue around him once, and took him in as far as I could, which admittedly was not as far as I wanted to, swallowing a bit as I did. Din’s hips bucked up into me as I did this, and he grunted, saying something I couldn’t quite parse. I gagged slightly, nothing I couldn’t handle, and went back to my normal bobbing. He was already close as it was, so I wasn’t at it long before he hit his own climax.

“Thessa! I’m--” he choked out, before he came, his cock twitching in my mouth, releasing hot, salty seed in my mouth. I swallowed every drop before coming up for air, gasping in a lungful. Din released his grip from my hair and gently grabbed my arm and brought me back up to the edge of the bed. He took my wrists and undid the cuffs, tossing them aside. I took a moment to rub where they were, then threw my arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a kiss. I nibbled at his lips, then ran my tongue along it, pushing into his mouth. My now free hands went to his cheeks, thumbing over his features. Cheekbones, jawline, the bridge of his nose. It didn’t give me a great idea of what he looked like, not that I needed to know, or wanted to know for his sake, but it was good to feel the slopes and lines of his face anyway. One hand went from his cheek, down his neck, and slipped under his shirt to his back, feeling over his skin. It was smooth, warm, but still dimpled and streaked with scars from countless encounters with countless people. His muscles were softly defined, functionally strong, but even just from this cursory touch I could tell he had a lot of knots in them. He never relaxes. Maybe I could fix that.

“That was amazing,” I said quietly as I pulled away slightly, keeping my hand down his shirt in the back.

“Mm,” he hummed in response, his hands stroking their own paths over my skin. “You’re quite skilled with your mouth.”

I smiled. “I do my best.” I kissed him again, shorter this time, then pulled away. “Hey, uh, you should take off your shirt.”

There was a moment of quiet. “Why?” he asked, a little confused.

“You need a good back rub,” I said, matter-of-factly. “There are so many knots in your back muscles, Din.” I removed my hands from his body and stopped leaning on him, just sitting on the bed next to him. He shifted, and I heard fabric hit the floor. “Lay down, face down?” I asked, more of a suggestion.

“I… Okay. Just… don’t--”

“The blindfold stays on, I know,” I said, smiling softly. I lightly brushed his arm, bare skin that probably hasn’t been directly touched by another person in who knows how long. He laid down as I asked, and I moved, straddling over his hips. I started to gently rub the skin on his back, first just trying to get a feel for where everything was to make this easier in my blindness, feeling over all the landmarks of his skin. I pressed my thumbs into any knots I found and massaged them. He seemed incredibly tense that I was doing this, which was making the knots harder to find. I understood this was kind of a vulnerable moment for him, and it must be outside of his comfort zone. “Hey, relax, if you keep your shoulders taught like this it defeats the purpose,” I said soothingly, gently running my hands up and down his back. He took a deep breath, and I felt his muscles relax under my touch. “There we go.” I went back to what I was doing, and it was quiet for a little while.

“Din,” I started, “I didn’t know Mandalorians had their own language.”

“We do,” he said. “It’s alive and well within our tribes, but… our numbers are nowhere near as strong as they used to be.”

I hummed. “You should… teach me,” I said. “As long as that’s allowed in the Way, I suppose.” There was another moment of silence, and I hit a particularly tight knot that made him grunt. I pulled my hands away slightly. “Did I hurt you?” I asked.

“No, that was… good, actually,” he said, laughing a little bit. “But, I don’t see why not to teach you… _cyar’ika_.”

I ran my thumbs along either side of his spine. “What does that mean?”

“It means… darling, or sweetheart,” he answered.

I grinned. “ _Cyar’ika…_ ” I repeated, my heart practically bursting at the term. I leaned down and pressed a kiss to his shoulder blade.

“That’s lesson one,” he said. There was another pause, and I found another knot. Maker, I would never run out of knots to work out at this rate. “ _Ne gev. Aala’jate._ ”

“Hm?”

“Don’t stop. This feels good,” he said. “I’ll keep teaching you later. And… if you don’t mind, doing this… again sometime?”

I laughed softly. “I’d be more than happy to. Even trade as far as I’m concerned, back rubs for… uh, what’s the language called?” I asked.

“Mando’a,” he responded.

“Back rubs for Mando’a,” I finished, smiling.

“Sounds good to me,” Din said.

I kept up my work for quite a while, the silence between us comfortable. Din continued to relax under my touch, getting more and more comfortable with what I was doing. I was just happy to be touching skin to skin like this, and I was overjoyed that he liked it as much as he did. It was clearly outside of his comfort zone, but… he deserved to relax, the universe hasn’t been kind to him, especially lately, I felt. After quite a while of quiet, I tried to start another conversation.

“Din?” I asked, quietly. No response. I frowned, stopping my hands for a moment. His breathing was deep and even, and… He was asleep. He’d completely fallen asleep. Deeper than I think I’d ever seen him; usually a word or a slight stir would wake him. He was the lightest sleeper I’d ever met. I smiled. But… he was in the middle of the bed and his helmet wasn’t on. There was no guarantee I could keep my blindfold on while I slept since I was one to occasionally toss and turn. I thought about my options for a moment. I slowly, gently slid off of him and turned my back to the bed, making sure there was no chance I could see Din in my periphery. I peaked under my blindfold just to locate the dresser so I could pull some bedclothes out of it. I blindly rummaged through my drawer, only looking out from my blindfold when I absolutely needed to; this was the most vulnerable Din had been around me, possibly the most vulnerable he’d ever been period, and the very last thing I wanted to do was betray the trust that must take. He trusted me enough to fall asleep under me with his helmet off. Maker, that… had a lot riding on it, and it only made me… love him more? Was that what this was? Flings happen, that’s kind of what I expected this to be, but… all signs pointed to something deeper. I awkwardly slid my clothes on, and felt around for the door. I opened it, then closed it behind me before I took my blindfold off entirely. I adjusted to the light, then climbed up to the cockpit and got comfortable in the pilot’s seat, watching the stars through the viewport. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep, smiling to myself, realizing I’d made a pretty damn good choice coming with him.

* * *

The next morning, Din woke up slowly. He was so comfortable, like the weight of an entire planet had been lifted from him. He also felt fairly well rested for once in his life; he didn’t usually get more than a few hours of sleep. Something felt… off, though. The bed was empty other than him, and… his helmet was off. A sort of panic started to set in. This hadn’t happened with Thessa on the ship before, and while he trusted she understood enough about his creed and way of life to not have looked at him, a seed of worry was still sprouting in his gut. He sat up, realizing he felt almost… wobbly after the massage Thessa gave him last night. He quickly righted himself, but still felt much looser than usual. It was nice, he admitted to himself. Having her touch him so thoroughly like that… It was strange and sort of uncomfortable at first, but he found himself loving it, never wanting it to end.

Despite his concern, he took the opportunity to pull on a new set of clothes before putting on his armor again. He looked at his helmet for a moment before putting it on. What if she had seen? If she had… did he care? Yes, he decided, he did care. This was his life, and betraying the creed now with a foundling in his care would be poor timing. With a sigh, he placed it back on his head, readjusting to its presence quickly.

* * *

For the first time since I’d joined his crew, I was awake before Din. The only reason I knew this was when I woke up in the cockpit, I was alone still, and when I went down into the hold to give the kid breakfast and maybe get dressed, the door to the bedroom was still closed. I figured it was best to leave it closed until he came out of his own accord, and I certainly didn’t want to wake him from what seemed to be the longest rest he’d ever gotten. I was pretty pleased with myself that I had put him in such a relaxed, comfortable state that he actually got a proper amount of sleep.

I’d been awake for maybe an hour when I heard heavy boots climb up the ladder to the cockpit where I was fiddling with controls, trying to reduce our fuel use as much as possible until we decided on a place to land. Suddenly I was a bit nervous, worried he would assume I looked at him while he was asleep with his helmet off. I hadn’t, of course, but I knew it would be something he had thought about. I turned the chair around to look at him as he entered the cockpit. He stood somewhat awkwardly in the doorway, looking at me.

“Good morning,” I said, smiling sweetly and standing to move over to the copilot’s chair. “I take it you rested well.”

“I did.” He didn’t make a move to sit, so neither did I. I approached him, holding my hands out, and he took them. “You didn’t…”

I shook my head. “No. Never even crossed my mind,” I assured him. “Well, I mean, it crossed my mind in that I knew I didn’t want to, and that I needed to be careful while I was getting clothes back on to come up here, but… yeah. I wouldn’t cross that line, not without your consent, and certainly not without your _knowledge_.”

He pulled me into him and gave me a near-crushing hug. “Thank you.” His voice wavered in a way I hadn’t heard from him before. “Anyone else…”

I wrapped my arms around him in response. “I’m not anyone else,” I said before he could finish the thought. “You mean too much to me.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kid gets sick, Thessa gets sick, but once she’s feeling better, a day out at the market ensues. Din makes an exciting purchase.

More time passes. A few months, now, in fact. As expected, Din and I are growing ever closer, and things are going well. I was still concerned about the fact that someone was still after the kid. I knew Din was, too, but whenever I tried to bring it up he’d just tell me not to worry about it yet, that he’d get it taken care of. It didn’t stop me from worrying about it yet. I still didn’t know what happened during his showdown with the Moff on Nevarro, but that seemed like maybe it was still a sore spot, and I didn’t want to pry. I’m sure it would come out eventually.

Otherwise, everything had been going swimmingly since I ran away with Din. Except for the fact that someone had to get sick eventually. The little one fell victim first, which made Din absolutely freak out. I hadn’t seen him that high strung even in the middle of a firefight. The kid coughed, _once,_ and Din was distraught.

“Din,” I said, firmly but calmly. “He’s got a cold. Kids get sick sometimes, he’ll be fine.”

“I know, but he’s…” he trailed off, looking at the little one tucked in his bed, sleeping soundly.

“I understand he’s important to you,” I said. “He’s your kid. I love him, too. But it’s just a cold, and we just need to wait it out. Make sure he’s drinking plenty of water, and still eating normally. He’ll be fine.”

Din just nodded, leaving the kid to sleep.

After a couple days of cuddling, making sure he was eating and drinking properly, and plenty of rest, he was back to his normal troublemaking self. “See? I told you it was no big deal,” I told Din as we watched the kid start playing like he normally did. Of course, the moment the little one was feeling better, it hit me like a speeder bus, and I felt like absolute garbage. I wouldn’t admit it, though, not wanting to be a burden on Din. I was here to help, not lay around and take up resources. The first day I was sick, the day after the kid was back to normal, Din was once again pretty worked up.

“You need rest,” he said as I started to climb up to the cockpit.

I shook my head. “I’m fine,” I said, my voice and pronunciation a little off thanks to the fact my nose was completely stuffed up. “You’re not paying me to rest.”

He made an exasperated gesture with his hands. “Thessa, you…”

“What? You’re not! I’m going to get some work done. Maybe I’ll take a nap later.”

I got set up in the pilot’s seat, starting to work on the nav computers so we could set our next destination. We needed to restock on some supplies, so we needed to go somewhere that was actually somewhat populated. I punched some things into the computer, and sat back to wait for it to think about the input I gave it… and promptly fell asleep.

I woke up some unspecified amount of time later in the co-pilot’s seat with a blanket over me. I groaned, somehow feeling worse than I did earlier. Din was in the pilot’s seat, expertly taking the craft on a landing path towards some sandy-looking planet with a few cities dotting its landscape.

“How long was I asleep?” I asked.

“Couple hours,” he responded. “I told you you needed rest.”

I sighed. “I don’t want to rest, I want to help,” I insisted.

“ _Gar atin, cyar’ika._ ”

“ _Atin?_ ”

“You’re stubborn,” he said. “We’re going to stay here for a few days until you’re feeling better. We need supplies, and it’s probably best to stay out of trouble while you’re recovering.”

I rolled my eyes, but he was right. I really should rest. The kid could hide out and didn’t have to fight. Hell, he couldn’t hold up a blaster if he wanted to let alone figure out how to use it. I needed to be ready to go, so staying low until I was feeling better was a pretty good idea. So that’s exactly what we did. I was still trying to get up and help do things on occasion, but Din would just make me go back to bed or tell me I could sit in the cockpit with him and watch, but I was supposed to be recovering, not pushing myself. I insisted that helping with calibrations and other small tasks was not pushing myself, but he was quite persuasive.

It took me five days to start feeling like myself again. Din and I both were a little bit nervous to be staying put in such a populated area for so long, what with bounty hunters being after the kid, but we hadn’t run into any in a while and it was best to be close to supplies while I was recovering.

While it was nice to have Din bring me soup in bed all the time, I was going to explode if I had to spend one more second horizontal. The morning I was feeling better, I got out of bed, grabbed a fresh set of clothes, and immediately took a shower to shed the bog creature alter-ego I apparently adopted when I was sick. I felt grimy and my hair desperately needed to be washed. Even though I was already feeling significantly better, I was practically entirely back to normal once I’d washed up. I put my hair back into a braid and got dressed, then went back to the bedroom, staring at the bed that had started to feel like a prison. Those were our last clean set of sheets, and I didn’t want Din sleeping in them until they were washed. So, I stripped the bed and gathered our laundry up, walking out into the hold. Din was just descending from the cockpit.

“Hey, I’m going to go get our laundry done,” I said.

“Are you sure you’re feeling up to that?” he asked.

“I just took a shower and I feel so much better,” I answered. “I’m going to lose it if I have to spend any more time cooped up in the bedroom. Why don’t you come with me? We can bring the kid, stretch our legs a little.”

He was quiet for a moment, considering my offer. “That sounds good,” he finally agreed, gently picking up the little one from where he was playing with some toys.

I smiled, and we headed down the ramp of the ship together. I flagged down the person working in the ship bay we had landed in, and I asked if they knew where any laundry facilities were. They informed me there was a place not too far from here that could help us. Following their directions, we easily made it to the small laundromat. The man working there told us it would be done in a few hours. So, that left us with some time to kill, which was perfect considering we still had a few supplies to track down.

First things first, though: food.

We found a small place that was well lit, lots of windows, and looked moderately busy. It smelled absolutely amazing outside, so we went on in. The three of us sat together at a table in the corner of the restaurant. I ordered soup (despite feeling better and having energy again, my throat was still a bit sore from all the coughing I’d been doing), and I ordered some food for the kid. Din didn’t order anything, of course, but we had plenty of food back on the ship that he could eat later when he had some time to himself.

That’s one thing that I longed for in our relationship. Sharing a meal. There’s something about not being able to sit down and eat dinner with him that broke my heart a little every now and again. I understood it was a necessity, so I never pushed the subject with him or really even brought it up. Just one of those things that crossed my mind occasionally when I ate with the child.

Once we were finished eating and had paid for our meal, we walked down to the market to take care of the last odds and ends we needed before we left. I spent some of that time pointing out ridiculous items to Din, like ugly home decor or snake oils that promised to cure any number of diseases.

“Think we should get this for the ship? Really liven the place up,” I said sarcastically, holding up this bizarrely shaped and hideously colored statuette of some Nabooian queen wearing an elaborate headdress.

“The way those eyes are painted would distract me,” he said, smile in his voice, shaking his head slightly.

I looked a little closer at the piece. Her eyes were painted on a little wall-eyed and the lines were wobbly and smudged. “Oh, Maker, that’s bad,” I mumbled, setting it back down. “The things people will buy, right?” 

A little while later after we’d walked through a good portion of the market, I found a shop selling clothes. I went in with the intention of looking around, maybe picking up some essentials. I had ruined quite a few shirts in the past few months. And I did, just grabbing a few new shirts and a pair of pants, but not before something caught my eye. It was a dress, and the silhouette was simple enough; modest, long sleeved, long skirt, except for the fairly deep neckline. But the fabric was gorgeous. It shimmered in the light, and almost looked like the designs had been painted on with dye or something. It was reasonably priced. I had no idea where I would wear it, unless Din and I went somewhere quite nice for a job or… _a date._ It occurred to me then that we’d never been on a _date_. It would either be incredibly fun or horribly awkward, but I was leaning towards the former. Maybe I could convince him if we went somewhere nice. Always a chance a job would take us somewhere that wasn’t a shady skughole. I glanced around, and saw that Din was standing outside the store keeping watch. Not watching for anything specific, of course, that was just how he was. I quickly bought the dress and my other new clothes, standing between the shopkeeper and the door in such a way that he hopefully couldn’t see what I was doing, and kept it carefully in the bottom of the bag the shopkeeper gave me so he couldn’t see it. 

We continued to meander around the market. I ended up losing track of Din for a few minutes at some point, but he quickly rejoined the child and I just as I was buying the kid a new toy. Well, it was definitely supposed to be a decoration of some kind, but it was round, shiny silver, and big enough the little one couldn’t fit it in his surprisingly large mouth, unlike that knob he kept stealing off the controls in the cockpit.

“See? Now you don’t have to steal that knob, and you can’t accidentally swallow it!” I cooed, handing it over to him.

Din looked over my shoulder at the kid. I smiled back over my shoulder at him. Then I noticed how much lower the sun was in the sky. “I think it’s well after the time our laundry was ready, we should go pick it up. Find anything good?” I asked.

“A couple things. I’ll show you later,” he answered, something akin to mischief in his voice. It piqued my curiosity, but I had a feeling that it wasn’t something I would see until later that night. “What about you?”

“Oh, just a couple new shirts to replace some ones I’ve ruined since I’ve been with you. Nothing special,” I responded, knowing that wasn’t entirely true.

We made our way back to the laundromat and picked up our freshly washed and folded laundry. I thanked the owner, paid and tipped him, and started to walk back to the ship. Once we arrived, Din set the little one down in his alcove with his new toy, and we walked back to the bedroom to start putting our things away.

“I had fun today,” I said, stretching a fitted sheet over the bed. “It was good to get out and get some fresh air. We should do that more frequently.”

Din nodded a little, folding a shirt and placing it in one of the dresser drawers. “I agree. It was kind of you to buy the kid that toy,” he said.

“His eyes lit up the moment he saw it,” I responded, laughing a little. “Hopefully it’ll keep him from stealing that knob from the control panel. Thanks for the help, by the way.”

“You’re welcome, _cyar’ika._ ”

I grinned. Something about that word just made me melt. Maybe it was just being called a term of endearment, but it was definitely combined with the fact that this language definitely had significance to Din. Regardless, though, I loved it. I loved him. We hadn’t had a moment of confession yet, but I was perfectly fine with that. In the grand scheme of things it was still very early in our relationship, and Din seemed to be the type to take serious relationship things very slowly. Not that I’m any faster; it took me two weeks on the ship before I put my clothes in a drawer in his dresser, which was well after we’d had sex for the first time. I didn’t want to rush him into serious relationship territory, and I had a feeling he felt the same way. He had built some pretty thick walls around himself, but he’d also built a door for me to pass through, and I was just fine with the way things were.

“Hey, it’s getting late. I’ll finish up in here, why don’t you go eat something?” I suggested, stuffing a pillow into a pillowcase before tossing it back on the bed. “Then we can put the kid to bed and maybe you can show me what you got at the market.” I smiled at him suggestively, being fairly certain that whatever it was he got was indeed for use in the bedroom.

Din gently closed the drawer to the dresser. “That’s a good idea. Just stay in here until I come back, okay?”

I nodded, starting to put another pillow back in a case. He passed by and gently squeezed my shoulder as he left the room, door sliding shut behind him. I had explained to him a thousand times that I was just fine staying in here for a little while so he could take his helmet off and take his time to enjoy a meal, that I could just settle in and read for a while or something. He always agreed, but he seemed to always eat too fast. He was set in his ways, though, that much I’d accepted.

I finished up making the bed, spreading the blanket out over it, and then folded and put away the last of the laundry. Just as I was finishing up the last few garments, Din came back into the bedroom and walked up behind me, wrapping his still-armored arms around me.

“The kid’s asleep already,” he said.

“Good. So, what’d you get?” I asked, leaning my head back into his shoulder, looking over at him. He reached back into one of his many pockets and pouches, and pulled out a bundle of soft, dark red rope. I bit my lip, images of what this could be used for flashing through my head, lighting a familiar fire in my core.

“Figured this would be more comfortable than those binders,” he said. “And more versatile. I have a few lengths, so if it’s something you like, we can get more complex.” He then took my hand and turned me around to face him. “I also found this. The way you reacted last time I spanked you, well…” he trailed off, showing me a deep brown, bantha-leather bound paddle with blunt studs in the leather on one side.

“Maker,” I whispered, reaching out to feel over the studs. “I just got my voice back and you’re going to make me lose it again. I’d love to play with these tonight, but I’m afraid I might still be contagious.”

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take,” he responded. I could hear his smile on his lips. He set the paddle down and started unwinding the length of rope. “Get undressed.”

I started, tugging my shirt over my head and unclasping my bra. “You could keep the helmet on,” I suggested with a shrug. “Seems like it’s kept you from getting this so far.”

“Maybe I will. Would you like that?” he asked, folding the length of rope over itself.

That shouldn’t have been a difficult question. It shouldn’t have made me flustered, but I blushed a little bit. The thought of him growling commands at me from under the helmet the entire time rather than just at the beginning, the thought of me being able to _see_ exactly what he was doing to me… I peeled my pants off of my legs, throwing them aside. I looked up at him. “Uh… I-I mean…”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” I bit my lip, slipping my panties off and tossing them in the pile with my other clothes. “Stand up straight.”

I did, and he began wrapping the rope around me, across my chest, over my shoulders. I was lost watching his hands work expertly, like this was something he did every day. Each knot and weave had its place. Once he had completed the portion on my body, a harness that framed my breasts quite nicely, he held my arms behind my back, elbows bent so my forearms were parallel to each other. He started wrapping rope around those, tying them in place.

“Where did you learn to do this? It’s beautiful,” I said quietly, admiring the work he was doing. I almost wished we had a mirror in here for me to properly see what this looked like on me. Maybe some other reasons. Now _that’s_ a thought.

“Every now and then you don’t have binders but you have rope,” he answered. “Of course it’s not nearly as nice when it’s on quarries. I worked with a group… a long time ago, and one of them showed me how to do this. It was a useful skill for other things, too. Knowing how to tie a good knot will get you out of more situations than you’d think.”

“Well, you’ll have to teach me sometime,” I said, smiling a bit.

“Sure. Is anything too tight? Any tingling?” he asked, tugging on the rope as if to test its hold.

I shrugged my shoulders against the rope, then flexed my hands. “No, but I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

“Good. Same safeword, _ke’pare._ ” he responded. I nodded. I looked over my shoulder and he stood upright, taking a step closer behind me and wrapping his arms around me again. One hand snaked down between my legs and I gasped, my hips instinctively grinding against his touch. His other hand came up, and he gently but firmly placed it low around my throat. My chin tilted up, and I could ever so slightly hear his breathing in my ear.

“I like you all tied up. Helpless. _An’ner._ All mine,” he growled. The heat between my legs grew. He briefly squeezed around my throat, just at the sides, and took one more hard rub at my cunt before shoving me over towards the bed. He followed close behind, his fingers finding purchase in my hair.

“I think we should try out this other new toy first,” he said, picking it up from where he’d set it down on the dresser. “You haven’t done anything, but I don’t think you care about that. Might not even be a punishment anyway.”

I smiled slightly and bit my lip. “Sounds good to me.”

He sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed the knots keeping my arms together, placing me over his lap, the cold beskar plates of his thigh guards pressing into my skin. “I think I’ll give you ten. Five with the smooth side, five with the studs.” He pressed the material into my skin, tracing it over my ass without impact, lining up his shot. “I want you to count them.”

I nodded, shifting on his lap. “Alright.”

He raised the paddle, then brought it down hard with a satisfying slap. “One!” I gasped out, my hands already forming fists. It hurt, about the same as some of the harder spanks he’s given me with his gloves on. But that was just the first. I shuddered to think what a mess I’d be by the end of this.

Another came, ever so slightly harder, on the other side. “Two!” And so on, gasps slowly turning to moans, impacts getting harder, until we got to the halfway point. “Five! Maker!”

He paused, taking a moment to rub over where he’d hit with his hand, massaging my skin. “I’m going to flip it. Are you doing okay?” he asked. The edge in his voice was gone, and I knew this was a genuine question. I nodded.

“Fantastic,” I breathed, grinning. I forced my hands to relax from the balled up fists they were in, uncurling my toes. “It hurts, but… _good._ ”

He flipped the paddle over, placing it against my skin, letting me feel the studs. “Keep counting.” I nodded in response, and braced myself.

He brought it down, and I practically screamed out. It _hurt_ . But I had no desire to use our safeword. I wanted him to continue. “S-six!” It was like each stud was a dagger. My head fell briefly, but I brought it back up and took a deep breath. He brought it down again. “Seven!” I could feel tears stinging in my eyes. I’d definitely been in more pain than this before, but it was… something about the setting, something about feeling so _safe_ and _secure_ here in his lap, vulnerable, that brought my guard down enough to shed a tear at something that, considering even some recent injuries, was pretty inconsequential. I clenched my jaw as he brought it down for the eighth, then the ninth, and finally the tenth. “T-ten! Fuck!” My head fell, this time hanging there, and a tear rolled from my eye. I took another deep breath.

He set the paddle down and rubbed over my skin again. “You okay?” he asked.

I nodded. “That was amazing,” I said, grinning over at him. His hand found its way to my hair again, pulling it so my head was completely upright. His other hand went from rubbing over my ass to easily sliding a single finger into my pussy. I groaned, hips pushing back into the sensation. It wasn’t enough, but I wanted it anyway.

“Maker,” he mumbled. “You just love that, don’t you?” I was positively dripping with excitement at this point, desperate for real stimulation. He pulled his finger out and I whined, pouting slightly. He grabbed the ropes keeping my arms together again and pulled me off his lap, leading me to lay down on my back on the bed, but positioned some pillows so all my weight wouldn’t be on my arms, which led me to believe we’d be here for a while. He stood, and went back to grab another length of rope.

He pulled my legs apart, taking one and bending it at the knee, taking time to artfully wrap the rope around my legs several times, forcing it to stay bent. He did the same with the other. I was spread out before him, completely at his mercy. The thought would probably scare any other person in the galaxy. Not me. This, being here, was the safest I’d felt in a long time. I trusted him with my life, my happiness, my heart.

He settled on the bed between my legs, taking a gloved hand and slowly, frustratingly lightly traced lines up and down my soaked slit, almost meditatively, like he was thinking about what to do. I tried to push my hips forward to get more touch from him, but he pulled away, and I whimpered.

“Stay still, or you won’t get what you want,” he warned. I huffed a little, and looked through his visor where his eyes were. He didn’t move. I realized he was waiting on me.

“Please, Din,” I said, barely above a whisper.

“Please what?”

“I… don’t know. Anything. I just… I wanna cum for you, want you to make me lose my voice again,” I answered, my hips shifting slightly again, so frustrated it was honestly difficult to string a sentence together.

“I intend to.” He leaned forward, rubbing his gloved fingers against me, still far too light to get me anywhere. He effortlessly slipped two into my entrance, moving them achingly slowly. I groaned anyway, thankful to be getting any stimulation at all. It wasn’t enough to get me anywhere, and he knew that. He was going to take his time, enjoying watching me writhe under his touch, growing more and more frustrated with the pace. And that’s exactly what he did. He brought his other hand up, using his thumb to rub my clit, causing me to moan, louder and more desperate than I intended. I fought the urge to move into his touch. His touch was feather light and at an excruciatingly slow pace, but on the bright side his fingers began curling slightly, in search for a sweet spot.

I laid my head back momentarily, my breath shaking slightly as he worked. I wanted to ask for more, but I kept my mouth shut, afraid of asking too much and not getting what I wanted. I started watching him again, which had more of an effect on me than I was anticipating. I was so unused to watching him during times like these it almost felt _taboo,_ but it was a huge turn on nonetheless--or perhaps because of that feeling. I was completely bare before him, tied up, and he was fully clothed, helmet on, with his gloved fingers deep in my pussy. Of course, I knew it was Din, but there was a certain air of mystery about being fingered by a masked bounty hunter that I could definitely get used to.

Eventually, he picked up his pace, so gradually it felt like an eternity. The entire time, my moans and hums were getting louder, and I was having a harder time keeping my hips still. I was getting close, my walls rippling every now and then around his fingers. He had found a sensitive spot and focused everything there, his thumb pressing hard against my clit and rubbing quickly. My breathing quickened, and I lifted my head, looking at him where his eyes would be. I was quickly nearing my orgasm, and he knew it.

“Din! Fuck, I’m gonna--” But before I could even get the whole sentence out of my mouth, he stopped. He didn’t ruin my orgasm, he just… stopped. He pulled his hands away, sat back, and waited. I groaned, my head falling back. “Din…”

“ _N'epar nu pirur, cyar’ika_ ,” he said softly, gently rubbing his hand over my tummy, almost as if to soothe me. “It can wait. Be patient.”

“‘M not gonna remember that,” I mumbled. “Not in my learning zone.”

He huffed out a laugh. “I know. Just be patient.”

I didn’t want to be patient, but I didn’t have a choice. Another long while went by, and he began again. It was the same thing. Taking his sweet time bringing me to the edge, then stopping again, and me groaning in frustration. Each round took a little bit less time, the more sensitive I grew. Or maybe he wasn’t waiting as long between each time he dove in. I genuinely don’t know. Time turned to sticky syrup, it felt like I was there for years, waiting for him to send me crashing over the edge. He did this tantalizing but infuriating dance a dozen times at least. I was an absolute disaster by the end, moaning, mumbling nonsense pleas, my skin sheening with sweat.

“Din… please… I’m so… I need… _Fuck_...” I groaned, more frustrated than I’d ever been in my life, and surprisingly exhausted, unable to form a full sentence. The only thing on my mind right now was orgasming. If I didn’t, I was completely convinced I would implode.

He got up off the bed, and I made a noise of protest. Of course this was when he decided to take an incredibly long time taking off his armor. Well, it felt like an incredibly long time. Judging by our past encounters he was probably incredibly turned on himself. Still, every second he spent not touching me felt like millennia. He climbed back into bed, freeing himself from his pants. It occurred to me just then that even though I’d had his dick in my mouth, I’d never seen it. The assessment I’d gotten from my feeling, though, was right. He was definitely big, thick, but longer than I had estimated. Not that I’m complaining. He pushed my legs apart again and settled between them, lining himself up and pushing into me, again taking his time, like every millimeter took effort. I gazed up into his visor, dazed, desperate for more.

Eventually his hips were flush with mine, then leaned down over me, right next to my ear. “You’re perfect like this,” he growled, punctuating with a thrust. I moaned, once again louder than I intended. He had a way of making my voice get away from me. “Completely undone, absolutely dripping, begging for me to fuck you into this mattress like the slut you are.” Another thrust. “You’re so slick, tight, like you were made just for me.” Another thrust.

“F-fuck… Daddy, please, fuck me...” I groaned.

Exhaustion had definitely gotten to me, but it didn’t stay much longer thanks to the panic immediately washing over me, realizing what I had just said. I turned a bright shade of red, opened my mouth to say something, then shut it again. Din tilted his head slightly, looking at me.

“ _What was that?_ ” he asked, an amused tone in his voice, which wasn’t what I was expecting.

“I-- That wasn’t-- I didn’t--” I stuttered, suddenly wishing I wasn’t in these ropes so I could hide my face in my hands. “You-- Maker I did not just say that out loud,” I mumbled to myself, closing my eyes tight and wishing this would all go away. That was _super not_ something he was _ever_ supposed to know about, it was something that I hadn’t even honestly thought about since I was still at the inn.

One of his hands went to my breast, gripping tightly, then harshly pinching my nipple, making me moan out again. “You definitely did.” Still that amusement in his voice. The other, incidentally the one that had been buried in me just a few moments ago, came to my mouth, pressing through my lips. I sucked on them eagerly, licking my taste off of them, like my life depended on it. He grunted and started thrusting, and I moaned louder around his fingers. His hand went from my breast to my leg, pushing it closer to my chest, allowing him to find a spot inside me that made me see fireworks. I almost accidentally bit his fingers in the process. Part of me was still confused as to the fact this was continuing to happen; I kind of expected him to just untie me and run away, but he was definitely not doing that. If anything, it just made him go harder.

He continued his brutal pace for a while, but it did not take long before I was rocketing towards a climax. “Din! Din I’m gonna cum, I’m-- _Maker_ , Din!” My eyes tried to find his below his visor, and based on the absolutely intoxicating moan that came from him, I had successfully looked right into them.

Din nodded slightly. “Cum for daddy,” he growled, that amusement still present but drowned out some by the strain in his voice, being close to a climax himself. We both shouted the other’s name, crashing into our climax together. Mine was so intense I thought I could cry. My vision blurred, my eyes rolled back. My legs were shaking, and my walls were spasming wildly around Din as I rode it out for what felt like another eternity. I was panting like I had just run a marathon. Din collapsed on top of me, and I lazily pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

We stayed like this for a while, catching our breath. I was quickly getting uncomfortable in this bondage, but I was too spent to actually verbalize a complaint yet. Din lifted himself off and out of me after a bit. I smiled at him.

“Din. That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had in my life,” I said, my voice quiet and scratchy. “Patience does pay off. And I think you succeeded in the voice... thing.” Words still weren’t easy.

I laid my head back as I felt him get up. “It does. And I think I did, too,” he said, an audible smile in his voice. He left the room briefly and returned with a damp cloth to clean us both up. He then began unwrapping the rope from my legs. I stretched them out, and sat up, letting him untie my hands and the chest harness. I rolled my shoulders and stretched my arms out as well, to the sides then above my head. He neatly re-wrapped the rope into a compact bundle. Of course, there was still an elephant in the room the entire time.

“I, uh… What I said was never supposed to leave my mouth,” I finally said. “Ever. I’m sorry if… it wasn’t comfortable.”

“Thessa, it’s fine,” he assured me. “You don’t have to do it again if you don’t want to, but… I was more than okay with it.”

I let out the breath I didn’t realize I had been holding since I stopped speaking. “Thank the Maker, I was afraid it was going to be a complete turn off,” I said. “Or worse.”

He chuckled a bit. “You’re going to have to do a lot worse than that to find a turn off for me,” he said.

I sighed in relief. “Well, anyway, I can’t wait until I’m not possibly contagious and we can get our mouths involved in that,” I said, laying back down on the bed, reaching my hands out to Din. He took them, and laid down next to me.

“I don’t know, _cyar’ika,_ you seemed to like the helmet,” he responded. I smiled and laid my hand where his cheek would be.

“Was it that obvious?” I joked. “I did, but I also like kissing you. That being said, being able to see what you were doing to me…” I hummed. “That was hot.”

“I could tell you were enjoying it.” He ran his fingers through my hair, pressing his sort-of-forehead to mine like he had been doing the entire time I was sick. He explained it was basically a kiss among other Mandalorians. “Everything on my end was okay, right? The spanking, the ropes, what I said?”

“Yeah, definitely. This is… a lot of fun. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of doing this kind of thing with you,” I said. “As long as you’ll have me, of course.”

“Neither will I,” he responded. I could still hear his smile.

There was a pause. I could feel my eyelids getting heavy. “I’m absolutely exhausted now,” I said, yawning. “I’m… gonna sleep. Good night, Din,” I said, settling into his chest as I had many times before.

“Good night, Thessa,” he responded.

I really would never get tired of hearing that, either.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bounty hunter got on their trail while Thessa was sick.

Unbeknownst to us, somewhere in that port, a bounty hunter had spotted us. They tagged the Crest with a tracker.

We left the next morning. I was back to feeling normal, and we needed to move on. Staying in one place for too long wasn’t a good idea right now. Unfortunately we didn’t know it had been too long already.

We made it safely to a small port on a nowhere planet somewhere in the outer rim. We were there for less than a day when everything went to shit.

It was dinner time, and nothing we had on the ship sounded good. But, lucky for us, there was a restaurant just down the way from the bay we were in that smelled absolutely amazing. I figured I’d run down there, grab something, and bring it back here so we could all eat. Din stayed on the ship with the kid, and I went out, bringing just enough credits with me to cover the meal. Din, of course, suggested he come with me.

“It’s just a couple blocks away. I have a blaster, I’ll be fine,” I insisted, pressing a kiss to his helmet. “You stay here with the kid. You’ve done enough caretaking in the past few days.”

“Alright. Just… be careful.”

“I will. Always.”

To be entirely fair, I was being careful. Not bringing too much money with me, carrying a weapon, not looking too out of place. That didn’t stop someone from hitting me with something hard in the temple just as I was about to walk into the restaurant. I blacked out, crumpling to the ground.

When I woke up, my vision was blurry and my head hurt so bad I felt like I could throw up. I was tied to a chair in a messy room, maybe the back room of a shop or something. My holster and blaster were gone, of course. Panic set in, but I did my best not to show it. I started looking around the room for anything I could use to get myself out of here.

“Ah, she’s awake!” a voice said, cheerily, in exact juxtaposition with the situation. “How’s your head? You’ve been out for quite a while.”

I ignored whoever it was. I didn’t even acknowledge I heard anything. They were after the kid, and therefore probably Din, too, and I was not going to give them any information that might help them.

A zabrak man stepped out of the shadows and approached. “I can let you out of this the easy way if you just tell me where they are,” he said. I didn’t react. He sighed. “We really don’t have to do this. You’re quite beautiful, I’d rather not bruise you.”

I finally rolled my eyes. “Clearly you can’t take a hint, so let me tell you this: no.”

He slapped me across the face, hard, definitely leaving a welt. “That’s not the correct answer.” I knew he was going to get physical with this, but it didn’t really settle in until just then. I tapped back into some training I got back in the Rebellion, basically for us not to talk if we ever got captured.

“Thessa Emereas, former Rebel Alliance pilot, current nobody,” he mused. “Well, except partner to a certain Mandalorian and a child that someone out there is willing to pay quite the premium for.” He stepped around me. I didn’t let it show, but it did worry me he knew this much about me. I didn’t have anything to hide, but… “In fact, they just added a little extra on for  _ you _ . You must also be quite valuable.” Of course they added a bounty on me. Din was hiding the kid from a Moff, and I was former Rebellion. Still, something wasn’t right, there.

I again didn’t answer or react to him.

“You and I both know what’s on the line, and I will do anything to reach my goal,” he said. “You were sloppy staying at that port on Llanic for so long. I tagged your ship then, and here we are.” Shit. There was a tracker on the ship.

“We both absolutely do know what’s on the line, and I’ll do anything to protect them,” I snapped back. He punched me this time, and I felt blood dripping from my nose. Nothing broken, though. Yet.

“Protect them. Tell you what,” he said, continuing to pace around me. “Your portion of the bounty’s a fraction of what the other two are worth. You tell me where they are, and I’ll let you go. I’ll just tell them you were killed, unrecoverable.”

“What the hell did I just say? Fuck off,” I said. He punched me again, in the gut this time. It knocked the wind out of me. I coughed.

“They weren’t on the ship when we went back and looked,” he said. Great, there’s a ‘we.’ More bodies to fight through if I can get out of this. “Where did they go?”

“If they’re not on the ship, I don’t know where they are.” That was the honest to Maker truth. We hadn’t discussed anything. Din’s smart though, and probably knew something was wrong when I wasn’t back in just a few minutes.

Another punch to the face. The metallic taste of blood filled my mouth. I spat at my captor.

“Bullshit. You know where they are.”

“I don’t have the slightest idea.”

It went in circles like this for a long time. Yes, no, then he’d hit me. It was getting tiresome for both of us, I think. By the time he changed things up, I was definitely bleeding from both nostrils and had a split lip, and probably had both eyes bruised. He pulled up a crate and sat on it, brandishing a small knife.

“Clearly, I’m not getting through to you, my dear,” he said. “I know you know where they are. You’re going to tell me where to find them. If you don’t, this is going to get much worse for you.” He held the knife out as if to show it to me.

“I don’t. Know. Where. They are. I left them on the ship, that is the only place I know they’d be in this dump.”

He changed his grip on the knife and held it to my shoulder, pressing the point against me, not enough to stab me, but enough to hurt. “You do know. And I’d really hate for you to see what I do to your Mandalorian if I don’t get it out of you,” he said. “The only one that needs to come in alive is the kid.” I spat at him again, and he began slowly pressing the blade into my shoulder. I clenched my jaw, not wanting to give him the pleasure of making me scream.

“It’s adorable you think you can get your disgusting hands on him before he tears you in half, you piece of shit,” I growled. The panic was subsiding. My gut was telling me I wasn’t going to get out of here, but I wasn’t going to go down without making this guy miserable. “Actually, wanna tell me your name? Maybe I can turn it into the popular insult it should be. Synonymous with shit for brains, not an ounce of self-preservation, ugly motherfucker.”

“Oh, Thessa, I’m hurt,” he said, feigning offense before jamming the knife into my shoulder as far as it would go, making me shout, but still not giving him the scream he probably wants. “Drop the theatrics. Tell me where they are.”

“I don’t know,” I said through gritted teeth. He twisted the blade. “I’m not fucking lying to you! I don’t know where they are!”

He sighed, then pulled the blade out, which made me shout again. “Alright, I get it, you’re not interested in talking right now. How about we take a break, then we can continue, hm?” He patted my leg, which I jerked away from his touch, glaring at him. He stood and walked over to a different crate, pulling out what appeared to be normal gauze and some tape. He came back over to me, and pulled my elbow out at an uncomfortable angle to tape the gauze pad tightly to my stab wound. “Don’t want to give you the opportunity to bleed out without me.”

I curled my lip in disgust and continued to glare at him as he left. Once he was gone and the door was shut behind him, I allowed myself to catch my breath. I had been forcing myself to breathe evenly, keep up the illusion of a brave face. Really, I wanted to just fall apart, break down. I was sure I wasn’t going to see Din or the child again. At least they were safe, for now. I was doing my part to buy them time. I hope Din had found the tracker on the ship and bailed. I had told him before that if something were to happen and he needed to leave me behind to keep the child and himself safe, to do it and not feel bad about it. He had said the same to me. I never told him I loved him. I hoped he knew. He had to, right? I hoped he knew how much I wanted to run away from all of this with him, raise the kid somewhere safe. They say it’s the thought that counts, and even though it broke my heart I’d never see it, the thought would have to do.

After a long while of being lost in my thoughts, trying to make peace with myself, the universe, a god, whoever would listen, my kidnapper returned. Same small knife in hand, same determined look on his face. I had to admit, I did find him kind of intimidating. With the horns and everything, zabraks were… kind of scary. I didn’t let it show. I wouldn’t. I  _ couldn’t. _

“Feeling cooperative yet?” he asked.

“Not particularly.”

He nodded, as if he was considering my answer as he approached me. He tore the tape off of my shoulder, removing the gauze pad. “Let’s see if I can change your mind. Before I go any further, let me offer you this,” he started. “Mando probably didn’t tell you how valuable this quarry is. Whoever wants that kid, they’re rolling in it. And to bring in the man who betrayed the client? You’d never have to work another day in your life.” He paused, inspecting my wound. “If you tell me where they are, I’ll let you go,  _ and _ I’ll split the bounty with you fifty-fifty. How does that sound?”

I scoffed. “Even if I knew where they were I wouldn’t tell you. I’m not a backstabbing scumbag.”

He sighed. “I was afraid you’d say that.” He jammed two fingers into my wound, deeper than I thought it actually was. I growled, my fists tightening, jaw clenching again. “I will continue until you change your mind or remember where they are.” He pulled upwards, as if he was trying to lift me out of the chair.

“ _ I don’t know!” _ I shouted again. He stopped and pulled his fingers out of the wound, and I gasped in a lungful of air. I didn’t even realize I was holding it to stop myself from screaming.

“Why are you protecting them? What is he paying you?” he asked. “Must be a lot to keep your mouth shut like this. But, based on the couple of credits we found on you, that doesn’t seem to be the case.”

“You can get away with carrying more than that. Who’s gonna mug a zabrak?” I asked, glaring at him again.

“Alright, that’s fair,” he said, holding up his hands in admission. “It’s really a shame you’re not cooperating. I like you. You’re feisty. Really would fit right in with us.”

“Absolutely not.”

He sighed again, and lined up his knife with a new spot, just inside from the other infliction. “Just tell me where they are, Thessa. We both want to be done here, don’t we?” he asked. “None of my offers have been rescinded.”

“Eat shit.”

He stabbed me again, and I shouted in response. “You’re so difficult.”

I forced a grin. “That’s the goal.”

He twisted the blade again, with more force this time. I let him continue without a response, gritting my teeth against the pain, forcing myself to breathe evenly. The question and answer cycle was getting annoying for both of us, but his question still hung in the air. After a long while of searing, sharp pain, he removed the blade. The edges of my vision were darkening and everything started to kind of slow down. I was suddenly very aware of what was happening to me and how much pain I was in because of it. The adrenaline was wearing off, and I was going to pass out again. He shook his head. I then heard a frustrated shout, saw a glint of bloody metal, and felt a sharp pain across my arm. I blearily glanced down, and saw a deep, clean gash in my upper arm. I swallowed, hoping he’d missed anything major, and promptly blacked out again.

Over some span of time I couldn’t keep track of, though it certainly felt like an eternity, the cycle continued. I swayed in and out of consciousness, and when I was more or less awake, he’d ask me where they were, threaten me in one way or another, then hurt me. I had to look like I’d been dragged by a speeder around an entire planet. The worst was a cut across my abdomen, which he took his time doing. He hiked up my shirt and I flinched, too out of it to do much else. He lined up his knife on my side, pressing it in. He asked me where they were and I shook my head. He started dragging, taking his time, making it clear he was in no hurry.

This is when I finally started crying, unfortunately. I was trying my best to not show any weakness, but my ability to do that was quickly waning. I was barely keeping myself awake as it was.

Despite being barely conscious, I did at some point piece together that something was wrong. It was clear I wasn’t going to talk, and he had said that the only one that needed to come in alive was the kid. If he was using me to lure Din here, I didn’t need to be alive. Why hadn’t he killed me yet? Maybe he actually needed us all alive and was just lying to scare me. Maybe there was something more going on. I just knew something was wrong, and not a lot else. Thinking about anything other than trying to stay conscious, or the pain I was in, was too difficult. Further investigation would have to wait.

I was roused some time later by a commotion in a room over. Shouting, blaster fire. I couldn’t parse what was happening. Something was. Probably bad. I glanced at the injuries I could see. They were slightly dried over, but still shiny with blood in spots, so it had been a while, but these were fairly serious injuries. Maker, my head hurt. Everything hurt. But I didn’t think I was dead. Not yet, anyway. My vision came and went, trying to stay somewhat conscious to see if I could figure out what the hell was going on. Once the noise stopped, though, I’d probably slip under again.

I registered that the door opened. I glanced up, still dazed, dizzy. The zabrak was standing there… pointing something at me. What was that? A blaster. I closed my eyes. I whispered an apology. To myself, to Din, to the kid, to anyone in my life who needed it. I cried out weakly as I felt the blaster bolt collide with my other shoulder. That wasn’t where I expected it. He missed?

I was still on the edge of consciousness, so when I saw Din, I assumed I was hallucinating. My brain conjuring up some angel of death to usher me over to the other side, maybe. But that wasn’t so. He rushed over to me, hastily untying my restraints and picking me up.

“Din…”

“Thessa, it’s okay, we’re going to get out of here.”

“I…’m sorry,” I mumbled, my hand shakily coming up to the side of his helmet. “I…” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the zabrak move. Did I?

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he said.

No, I definitely saw him move. In a last push of effort, I grabbed Din’s blaster from his holster and shot the zabrak again, landing a shot in the man’s head. Thank the Maker. Sometimes revenge is sweet. I held the blaster out and Din put it back. I’m fairly certain he complimented me but I didn’t catch it. He started walking, fast, out of the building.

“There’s…” I was searching for words. My eyes wouldn’t stay open. “Tracker. On the ship.”

“I know, I found it. Stay with me, Thessa, keep your eyes open.”

I fought the urge on his command. “I… love you, Din. ‘M sorry… trouble,” I mumbled, before the urge won over, and I slipped out of consciousness again.

* * *

I only remember bits and pieces after that. Din shouting things at me, getting back to the Razor Crest, getting to hyperspace, then letting out choked groans and complaints as Din took a cauterizer (a proper one, we had a conversation about that after he told me he was using a soldering iron) to some of my wounds. In hindsight, I was glad I was mostly unconscious for that part. But, every moment I was conscious, whether he was tending to my wounds, holding my hand, holding the child, sitting on the edge of the bed, sitting on the floor next to the bed, he was right there next to me. I squeezed his hand when I could. I couldn’t get my thoughts coordinated enough, nor my strength up to speak or do much else.

At one point, I heard him mumbling something. I listened, still unable to react much. “I’m so, so sorry  _ cyar’ika _ ,” he said. “This shouldn’t have happened.” He sounded upset. I’d never heard that tone from him before. It absolutely broke my heart. I squeezed his hand as hard as I could, and he squeezed back.  _ It’s okay, _ I thought.  _ Neither of us could’ve predicted this. _

Eventually, after an amount of time I couldn’t exactly quantify but knew was pretty long, I actually regained full consciousness and some of my strength. I slowly, carefully sat up, groaning as my whole body complained in a uniform ache. I was stopped, though, by Din’s hand gently placed on my chest.

“Thessa,” he said, quietly, pushing me carefully to lay back down. “How are you feeling?”

I smiled weakly. “Been better.”

He made a noise that sounded like a laugh, but I heard a shaky breath. “You scared me there for a while.”

“Sorry,” I said, my voice barely a whisper. Tears welled in my eyes. Why? Because I was back here, against all hope? Because I almost died? I wasn’t sure. “I… should’ve been more careful. Are… are you and the kid okay? Do I remember you saying you found the tracker?”

He wrapped me in a tight hug, clearly being careful of my injuries all the same, his arms gently sliding under me on the bed. “Typical,” he said. “We’re fine, don’t worry about us. And yes, I found the tracker.” Was he crying? Now I was crying. “I thought I lost you.”

I moved to hug back, but one of my arms was caught in a sling, so I wrapped the other one around him. “Can’t get rid of me that easily,” I joked, sniffling a little bit. “I… meant what I said. I love you, Din.”

“I love you too, Thessa.” My heart swelled. He wiped the tears from my face. “I--” He paused and looked around the room, searching for something. He found something good enough, a roll of bandages on the table next to the bed, tore off a length, and tied it around my eyes. I heard his helmet clatter to the floor, and his lips pressed against mine. I kissed back, my good hand going up to his face to reciprocate wiping away his tears.

“How’d you find me?” I asked, quietly. “How’d you hide so quickly?”

“The… kid was upset about something. I don’t know why, but I knew something was wrong. I’d never really seen him like that before. I put him in his room and shut the door. I knew it was going to be hard to detect him in there like that. I left the ship and put it on ground security, and kept out of sight. A few people came into the bay, looking for us. You hadn’t come back yet, so with everything as it was, I knew something had happened.” He helped me sit up this time when I tried to move, and he sat next to me. I leaned into him. “I followed them back to where they came from. They were hiding way out on the outskirts of town, so it took me longer to get to you than I had hoped.” He kissed me again. “I can’t believe they did all of this to you.”

“I… Din, they knew who I was,” I said, my brow furrowing. “My name, the fact I was a Rebel pilot. It’s not that I have anything to hide, it’s just… he said the bounty’s on both of you now, and they’ve added on something else for me. If I’m going to make you a target…”

“Don’t talk like that,” he said, quietly but emphatically. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out. Focus on healing, first.”

I nodded a bit. “Alright.” I trusted him. We’d make a plan, we’d get around this. Somehow, this Moff thing just got a little bit more real, more personal. “How bad is it?” I asked. I still hadn’t seen quite a few of the injuries I’d gotten.

He was quiet for a moment, and seemed to freeze up a little. “Pretty bad,” he choked out. His voice sounded like the words hurt him to say. “They… really got you.”

“It fuckin’ hurts,” I mumbled jokingly, smiling a bit. “I’d like to go see, if you’ll help me get up. First, though…” I reached out and pulled him in for another kiss. “I love you so much. More than anything in this galaxy.”

“ _ Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum, balyc, cyar’ika _ .” I didn’t need him to translate that to know what it meant, and I’d probably remember it for the rest of my life.

I felt the bed shift as he reached out to grab his helmet, putting it back on before removing the bandage from my eyes. I smiled at him, and held my hand out. He grabbed it, carefully helping me up and out of bed. I put pressure on my left leg and cursed. That hurt, and I wasn’t entirely sure why. Some injury I don’t remember getting. “Shit! Dammit,” I groaned. “Remind me to never do this again.”

“Will do,” he responded, helping me over to the refresher so I could look at myself in the mirror. Din was not kidding when he said it was bad. I was sporting two nasty black eyes, my lip was split in a couple places now, and there was some other bruising over my face. My arm that was in the sling was attached to the shoulder I’d been stabbed in twice. I pulled my shirt up slightly to inspect my cut. Cauterized over, and healing nicely, but it still looked pretty nasty. It looks like it was maybe deeper than I had initially estimated. Bacta spray and those cauterizers really do work wonders, though. Unfortunately they don’t prevent you from feeling like you’ve been trampled by a mudhorn. Only one of us here has firsthand experience with that, but I imagine this is fairly comparable. My arms were cut and bruised in several places too. I pulled the neckline of my shirt, which was not the one I was previously wearing, so Din must’ve changed it for me, out of the way, looking at the stab wounds on my shoulder. Again, cauterized, but bruised worse than the other cuts. I sighed.

“What… what did they do to you, there?” Din asked cautiously, like he didn’t want to know the honest answer.

“Stabbed me. Then later he jammed his nasty fingers in one of them.”

“He  _ what? _ ” He sounded angry, not that there was anything more to do about it. The person responsible was already dead. I found some small relief in knowing I was partially responsible for that.

“Did not feel good,” I said. “Definitely not the same as when you jam your fingers other places,” I grinned, elbowing him playfully, trying to break some tension.

I pulled the neckline of my shirt the other way to look at where I’d been shot. Din had put a bacta patch around this one, which said to me he didn’t cauterize it. I pulled it out of the way, gently, and looked at it. It was burnt around the edges, and fairly deep, but I could tell it was healing pretty well. “Too bad I won’t get a badge for this one,” I joked again, referring to my Redbirds.

“I can think of a few things better than a badge I could give you,” Din responded. “When you’re feeling better, of course.”

I heard cooing and my heart melted. I turned around, a little too quickly, almost losing my balance, and quickly scooped the little child up in my good arm. “Oh, little one, I missed you so much,” I said, smiling, feeling tears well in my eyes again. “I’m so happy you’re safe.” He babbled back at me, smiling himself, almost like he was trying to tell me about something exciting he’d done while I was out. “No way, that sounds like it was fun,” I said, as if I knew what he said to me.

“He missed you too,” Din said, patting the little one’s head.

I grinned. “I… really didn’t think I was going to make it out of there,” I whispered. “And while I was trying to make peace with that… One day, the three of us, we’ll settle down somewhere beautiful, peaceful, and have a nice life together, as a  _ family. _ How does that sound?” I asked, smiling, tapping a finger on the child’s nose. “I don’t know when, it may not be soon, but some day.” Hell, even if it never happened, just thinking about it as an end goal would keep me going.

Din hugged the two of us. “That sounds wonderful, Thessa.”

I set the child down and glanced back in the mirror one more time. “I… need to sit down,” I said. “Probably eat something.” Din nodded and helped me over to the small table in the hold, and I sat down in the chair next to it. He brought me a couple rations, which I picked through and ate some of. I wasn’t particularly hungry, honestly, just from the pain I was in and the little flashes of memory coming back to me of my time spent kidnapped. But I knew I needed to get something in me. I finished what I could, wrapping up the rest to eat later.

“You should lay down again,” Din said.

I shook my head. “I’ve spent enough time in bed to last a lifetime. Can you help me up to the cockpit? I just want to sit up there for a while.”

He sighed. “Alright, fine. Come on,” he said, climbing up the ladder and taking the hand that wasn’t in the sling, pulling me slightly so I could climb up. Once we were both up, he helped me to the co-pilot’s chair, but I waved for him to sit and draped myself across his lap. There was a while where we both just watched the stars float by in silence, enjoying each other’s company. I laced my fingers in his, and squeezed a bit.

“I just don’t understand why they knew who I was,” I wondered aloud.

“It was probably just to scare you,” Din said reassuringly. “Like you said, you don’t really have anything to hide. Granted, having any sort of bounty on you puts you in a bad position. Either way, I’ll pull a couple favors to try to make information on you harder to find.”

I nodded. “You’re right. It was just… jarring, you know, to hear a complete stranger call me by my full name. ‘Thessa Emereas, former Rebel Alliance pilot, current nobody,’” I quoted in a low, mocking tone. “Rude.”

“You’re someone to me,” Din said, running his fingers through my hair.

“I know,” I replied, smiling at him. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“You don’t need to apologize for that. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know, but… it hurts to know you were hurt, if that makes sense.”

“It does.”

There was another moment of silence. I sighed, resting my head against his chest. What now? I knew something wasn’t right, but I had no idea how to articulate that feeling. I needed more information to put it into words.

“How… can you have a bounty on your head if you’re in good standing with the Guild?” I asked.

“Not all bounty hunters work for the Guild,” he responded. “It’s not out of the question they’re hiring those people. Based on the amount of money on the line for the kid alone, though, people might just be willing to betray the Guild to take that job.”

I hummed in response, considering this. “We need to get something figured out,” I finally said. “There’s something wrong here. I can’t quite put my finger on why, but… that zabrak said that the only one who needed to be alive was the kid, that we were expendable. I don’t understand why he didn’t just kill me.”

Din looked down at me, almost in surprise. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Gideon wants me alive so he can kill me himself for being a pain in his ass,” he said. “But… you’re right. That’s odd.”

“What should we do?” I asked.

He was quiet for a moment, thinking over his options. “I think we need to go back to Nevarro,” he said finally. “We need to know if they’ve seen anything suspicious there after the kid and I left. And there’s someone there I think you’ll like. With the people there, it should be safe enough to stay put until you’re a little more healed.”

I nodded. “Can you… tell me what happened on Nevarro?” All he’d told me was that he had a conflict with the Moff. There wasn’t any detail.

He stiffened as I asked. It would be hard to talk about, I’m sure, considering it was something he’s been avoiding, but if we’re going back there, I feel like I should have some context. He didn’t say anything for a long time. “A lot happened on Nevarro. We thought we had outsmarted the client, then Gideon killed him and a good handful of stormtroopers once he found out the kid wasn’t actually with us.” He continued his story, talking about how an IG unit droid actually ended up being more helpful than not, which I found surprising considering how many times I’d heard him insist on ‘no droids’ anywhere near him or the ship. Took out a shitload of stormtroopers itself, protecting the kid. Some friend of his reprogrammed it to be a nurse droid. “The droid gave us an opening, and I thought maybe we finally had an out, but… then there was an explosion. I don’t really remember exactly what happened after that, only that I nearly…” his voice strained, and he trailed off. “I nearly died, but I… lucked out, I guess.” I got the feeling that wasn’t the whole story, there, but I didn’t need to know every detail to get the gist. They made it into the covert in the sewers where they received help from their armorer. This part was also hard for Din to talk about, and I wasn’t going to push the subject. I knew that the Mandalorians had revealed themselves helping him off Nevarro when he rescued the kid. That had to be part of it. The good part of that event, though, was he finally got his signet; the mudhorn skull he had on his pauldron. The armorer also solidified Din’s role as the kid’s adopted father, and the kid as a foundling. They eventually made it out, and the IG unit self-destructed to take out a platoon of stormtroopers. Then Gideon showed up again in a fucking TIE fighter, which Din took down himself with a fucking jetpack and a well-placed charge.

“Maker, that’s… a long day,” I said. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

He shook his head. “I’d do it all over again if it meant I got to meet you,” he said.

I smiled, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his helmet. “What do you say we get to the bottom of this, then we don’t have to go through any of this again?” I suggested.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he agreed, reaching over me and putting in the coordinates for Nevarro into the nav computer.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thessa and Din return to Nevarro in search of information. Din returns to the covert.

“ _ Kaysh mirsh solus _ .”

I snickered. “Their  _ what _ is alone?”

“Their brain cell is lonely,” Din clarified. “Just means ‘they’re an idiot,’ though.”

“ _ Kaysh mirsh solus. _ That will definitely come in handy,” I said, smiling, watching over the control panel instinctively as we continued on our way to Nevarro. I had migrated into the co-pilot’s chair, and was holding the kid on my lap. We were taking the downtime for me to learn some more Mando’a.

“How about…  _ mirshepar'la  _ and _ mirsh'kyramud, _ in the same vein.  _ Mirshepar’la _ means boring for a thing, like a book. Literally, brain devouring.  _ Mirsh’kyramud _ is a boring person. Literally, brain assassin,” he said.

I laughed again. “Maker, these insults are clever,” I commented. I cleared my throat. “So,  _ mirshepar’la _ for a thing, and  _ mirsh’kyramud _ for a person. Got it.”

“Your accent really is good. You’re catching on well.”

I shrugged. “I know a little bit of some other languages by virtue of being in the Rebellion. Had a lot of folks from all over. I eventually got pretty good at picking things up.”

“ _ Kava sa do Huttese? _ ” he asked, making me shake my head slightly so my brain would switch gears. He was asking how my Huttese was, which I hadn’t tapped into for several months, since I left the inn.

“ _ Ree grancha, bata soong sa do porko tee-tocky,” _ I answered. It’s good, but it’s been a long time.

He nodded. “That’s probably more handy than knowing Mando’a.”

“Well, sure, but I already know it, and I like learning Mando’a,” I said, leaning forward to place my good hand on his shoulder. “It seems important to you.”

He put his hand on mine. “It is. Thank you. I enjoy teaching it to you.”

“How far out are we?” I asked.

“Just a little while longer. Anything else you want to know while we wait?”

“Oh, of course, I want all the insults and curse words in the book!”

He laughed a little. “Alright, fair enough, get the real important stuff down first.  _ Haar’chak _ is good, just means ‘damn it.’”

“That’s one of my favorites anyway.  _ Haar’chak. _ Sounds nice and sharp, I like it,” I responded.

We continued on this conversation for a while, talking about various insults and curses and me doing my best to remember them. At some point though, I started thinking of questions about Mandalorian culture.

“So, I have a question, if that’s okay,” I started. “Where… What's the line with the… clothes thing? I know you can’t show your face, that’s a gimme, but like… I’ve seen your,” I comically and probably unnecessarily covered the kids ears, “dick. I see bits and pieces of skin when I help patch you up. But you haven’t ever let me see your hands, for instance. You always have your gloves back on before you take off my blindfold.”

He nodded. “The line is really just the helmet,” he responded. “Habit, I guess. The way I was raised…clothes don’t matter as much, you get injured, sometimes they need to come off. It’s better to keep covered, just not required. The helmet, I can remove it alone or in the presence of a foundling I’ve adopted, so I can take it off around the kid. Or a spouse, but…”

“They’d have to be Mandalorian,” I said, finishing the sentence for him. I sat forward a little in my seat, making sure the kid wouldn’t fall off or anything. “What does that… take? I mean, do you have to start at a young age or can anyone convert?”

“ _ Cin vhetin, _ ” he responded, looking away from the controls and turning his chair slightly towards me. “Clean slate. Someone can convert at any time.”

“What if I did?”

He looked at me. “You… could,” he said, some cross between confusion and surprise in his voice. “You would need a lot of training first.”

I shrugged. “Something to think about.” I honestly wasn’t sure if I was serious about the question or not. Sure, it was a lot of sacrifice, but… I’d already sacrificed quite a lot for Din. Is this something else I’d be willing to do?

He nodded, and shifted in his seat--I could tell he was thinking about what I just said. He turned back around, just as we were in range of Nevarro and needed to focus on landing. I’d never been, and looking down on the landscape, I could see why it never appealed to me. Hot, dusty, and sandy. And were those… lava rivers? Yeah, definitely hot. We landed just a stone’s throw away from a small settlement, probably where the covert and everything that went down was. Din helped me down from the cockpit into the hold, then back to the bedroom. I wanted to grab my jacket to keep dust off of me. I knew it was sort of a risk wearing it knowing that Imps were just occupying this town, but they seem to have taken care of the problem, so I was willing to risk it.

We left the ship, the little one safely tucked in Din’s arm, his other arm helping to support me as we walked. We approached the edge of the city, where a woman was standing, scanning the landscape. She was pretty tall, muscular, with black hair and… a tattoo on her arm. She was a shock trooper for the Rebellion. I smiled slightly at her, glad to see another Rebel.

“Mando!” she said, a smile spreading on her own face, standing up from her leaning position to approach us. Ah, they were friends. No wonder, either, her being a dropper and all. “This is a surprise. Maker, did you do this to your friend here? She’s a catch,” she said, flirtation heavy in her voice. “Ah, and a Rebel, too! Nice jacket.” She was definitely quite attractive herself, and it caught me off guard. I clumsily spat out a string of words that was supposed to be a polite deflection, but it came out as gibberish. I’d blame it on my injuries if asked. I was hit in the head, wasn’t I?

“Thessa, this is Cara Dune. A close friend, and one of the best fighters I’ve ever met,” Din said. “Cara, this is Thessa Emereas. My partner.”

I held out my good hand, and she shook it firmly. “Ooh, partner?” she asked, teasingly, looking at Din. “Thessa Emereas, that name sounds familiar. Weren’t you the one pilot who got captured and pretty much single-handedly took down a star destroyer?”

I clenched my jaw, suddenly uncomfortable with this conversation. Captured. I had done a pretty good job of forgetting about that. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Uh, yeah, something like that. I see you were a dropper,” I said, wanting to change the subject but not be rude.

She nodded, getting the message. “I was. Part of why I stuck around to finish cleaning up,” she said. “Well, Greef’s got the bar put back together, so if you need a job, he’s there. And it’s good to see the baby, too!” She ran a finger over the little one’s ear, who giggled and smiled at her.

“That’s not really why we’re here,” Din said. “We need to lay low for a few days. We ran into some trouble at our last stop.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” she responded, gesturing at me. “Doesn’t look like you had a good time.”

“I did not,” I said. “How long was I even out when you got me back to the ship?” I asked, looking over at Din.

“About a day,” he answered. “It was bad. But we also came to gather information.”

“On what?” Cara asked.

Din was quiet, so I spoke up. “We think Gideon’s still alive,” I explained.

Her eyes widened in surprise, but then she laughed. “Good one, guys, that’s funny. What’s actually going on?” she asked.

“Somehow he survived, and he’s sending more non-Guild hunters after us now,” Din said.

“He just won’t fucking die,” I said. I shifted my weight but hissed, the injury on my thigh suddenly blooming with pain. “Can we go sit down somewhere please?”

Din’s grip on me tightened somewhat. “I do want to talk to Greef about this,” he said.

Cara nodded and we started walking. She graciously took the child so Din could focus on helping me walk. Maker this hurt. Just needed to wait it out. I’d heal eventually. After a short walk, we made it to a small bar. It looked newer, so my guess is this place had been renovated recently since this was apparently where the first part of their showdown with Gideon took place. As we entered, it got quiet, save for a surprised, but pleased exclamation of “Mando!”

An older man with a well-worn, long tan jacket stood from a booth and waved us down. This must be Greef. We approached the booth, and Din helped me sit down. Cara stood next to the booth, wiggling her fingers at the baby, keeping him entertained. I grinned at the sight, glad there was another person we could trust the kid with.

“It’s good to see you, Mando. It’s been too long,” he said. “And who’s this?” He smiled at me politely.

“I’m Thessa,” I said, smiling back. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m Greef Karga, it’s good to meet you as well,” he responded. “So, what brings you back to Nevarro, my friend?”

“Gideon’s still alive,” Din said shortly. His tone was much closer to the one he had when we very first met; very businesslike, hard to make heads or tails of. “I don’t know how he survived, but he did. I need to know if you or any of your men have seen anything out of place since we were here last.”

Greef’s expression immediately changed from delighted to see us to confused. “That’s a joke, right?”

“That’s what I said,” Cara chimed in. “It’s not.”

“We sort of put two and two together on Lothal,” I said. “It’s a long story, but we found a tracking fob for the kid.”

“It couldn’t have been anyone else,” Din said.

“And apparently there’s a bounty on all three of us, now,” I said. “If… the source of that information is to be trusted.”

Greef sighed. “I’m afraid I don’t have much to tell you,” he said. “After you left, it got very quiet around here. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Cleaned out a couple more Imps, but otherwise, yeah,” Cara agreed.

“Has anyone left the Guild? Taken jobs elsewhere?” Din asked. “The bounty for the kid was big enough back then. For the three of us, it could have some people making some interesting decisions.”

“Not from here, no,” Greef said. “That doesn’t mean that isn’t the case elsewhere.”

I looked over at Din, frowning a little. This is a dead end, I was afraid. He looked back at me, down, then back at Greef. “Is the wreckage still out there?” he asked. The TIE fighter.

“Probably picked over by jawas by now, but no one’s cleared it to my knowledge,” he answered.

“Somewhere to start,” Din said. I nodded, putting my good hand on his leg.

“I’d like to go with you,” I said. “I’ve… uh, well, flown one of those before. I might be able to find something.”

His head swiveled to look at me in surprise. I shook my head to signal I’d explain later.

“I take it you’re not here for a job, then,” Greef said, smiling, after a brief silence.

“No,” Din said.

“If you could do us a favor and just keep an eye out,” I said, looking across the table to Greef. “Any information would be great.”

“Of course,” he responded. “I owe you a lot of favors for that kid saving my life, anyway!” He chucked a little.

Saving his life? What?

Eventually Din and I slid out of the booth, and Cara pulled us aside. “If you guys need somewhere to stay, I have a spare room. Apartments are surprisingly cheap around here, and Karga’s paying me really well,” she said.

“That would be great,” I responded. I looked over at Din. “Then maybe we can go to that crash site tomorrow?”

He nodded. “Yeah. We need to change your bandages again, too,” he said.

We started to walk towards Cara’s home, Din still supporting me, Cara still holding the kid. Once we arrived, Din helped me take a seat, and then turned to leave again.

“I need to go back to the ship to get our supplies. I’ll be back,” he said.

I nodded, and Cara sat on the other side of her couch from me, setting the kid down between us. There was a somewhat awkward moment of silence before either of us spoke.

“So, how’d you get wrapped up with Mando?” she asked.

I laughed a little. “Right place, right time, I guess,” I answered. “I was helping with running an inn on Lothal. He stayed there for a while and I volunteered to watch the kid while he took jobs. I proved I was good at that, then he found out I was a pilot,” I said, motioning to the emblem on my jacket. “Took me on a job with him so I could prove myself there. Of course a bomb went off and I got injured then, too.” I laughed a little bit, recalling that. Seems so trivial now with the injuries I have. “Then we had to flee the planet and I went with him. The rest is history.”

Cara laughed. “Bet you wish you had armor like his, then, huh?” she asked. “Sounds like you take a lot of hits.”

I shrugged, remembering what I had asked Din earlier that day. “I do, but I think D--uh, Mando takes a lot too, he just won’t show it. I only started helping him patch himself up after I’d been with him for about a month. Which was after… Well, we’d uh, gotten intimate other ways, but it is what it is,” I recounted.

“Oh, shit, have you seen him with his helmet off?” she asked, leaning towards me a little like it was some big secret.

“No, no, even I’m not an exception to that rule,” I said, smiling a bit. “Honestly I don’t even feel like it’s that big of a deal anymore. It’s just part of who he is. What about you, though? How’d you two meet?”

“Some backwater planet called Sorgan. I was hiding out there from the New Republic. First thing we did was beat the shit out of each other. It was fun,” she said, grinning. “We helped a village fight off a group of raiders who somehow got their hands on an AT-ST. We worked our asses off training the villagers to fight that thing. We won, somehow.”

“Oh, yeah, he mentioned a little bit about that. It’s hard work taking down one of those walkers, I’m surprised you managed it,” I said.

“Me too. It was so funny, though, when we figured out they had a walker, we tried to convince the villagers to bail and move somewhere else. Of course, your boyfriend being the tactful person he is, just went ‘Bad news, you can’t live here anymore,’” she said, mocking his voice by lowering hers and covering her mouth with her hand to replace his vocoder.

I laughed. “Maker, he did?” I asked. “Sounds… about right, honestly.”

“It was the truth at the time,” Din said, coming back into the room with a bag of the supplies we needed.

Cara and I looked at each other in slight alarm, then laughed. “You’re a wordsmith, Mando,” Cara jeered.

He shook his head a bit, but I knew he was smiling. The kid climbed into my lap, and I patted his head a little. It hurt a little bit he had to see me like this. At least he was safe.

“So, uh, if you don’t mind me asking, what… happened?” Cara asked me, her tone switching to genuine concern.

I swallowed a little, trying to choose my words carefully. “I was… kidnapped,” I said finally. “Tried to use me to get to him and the kid. I’ll… leave it at that for now. Maybe another time, when it’s not as fresh?”

She nodded. “I totally understand.” She stood, and motioned towards a door. “Let me show you the spare room.”

I motioned for her to show Din, and they walked back to the guest room, Din taking our bag of supplies with him. They returned after a moment, and I looked up at the two of them.

“We should change your bandages,” Din said, reaching out a hand to help me up.

I nodded, taking it, letting him prop me up with his arm. The kid climbed down from the couch, ready to follow us. “Yeah. It’s getting late, anyway. I’m pretty exhausted. Being injured like this really takes it out of you,” I said, jokingly.

“I’m going to turn in, myself. If you need anything you know where to find me,” Cara said, standing and heading to what I assumed was her own room.

Din helped me up out of the chair and into the spare room. There was a pretty simple bed, thankfully wide enough for us to both fit comfortably on. The kid toddled in behind us, and Din shut the door quietly.

I sat on the edge of the bed. “Din,” I started, quietly, ensuring our host couldn’t hear us. “She’s hot.”

He chuckled. At some point in our time together it had come up that I was not straight, and gender had very little bearing on if I found someone attractive. He and I would occasionally go back and forth talking about people who came into a bar where we were waiting for something, whether or not they were our types, that kind of thing. There’s something oddly refreshing about talking about other attractive people with your significant other, and at the same time being entirely confident it would have zero negative consequence on your relationship. “I told you you’d like her.”

“Well, sure, but like, I assumed it was just because we had some things in common, not because she’s some kind of warrior goddess,” I said, laughing a little myself.

“I knew exactly what I was doing,” he responded, a somewhat familiar tone of mischief in his voice. He dug around in our bag for more medical supplies.

“Din Djarin, what exactly are you suggesting?” I asked, feigning accusation.

“Well, I’m not her type, but you are,” he responded, “and I haven’t forgotten what you said that time we were sparring.”

That time we were sparring…? I wracked my brain trying to remember what I had said. Was it when I said a threesome might be hot? “Din!”

“Listen, if you weren’t being serious or you’re not into it, just say the word and I’ll drop it. You definitely aren’t up to anything like that yet, anyway, so you’ll have time to think about it if you want,” he said, sitting next to me and laying out the supplies he needed. “It’s just that there’s no one I trust more than you and Cara.”

I smiled. He really was the sweetest. “Well, I did mean it, I just sorta figured you wouldn’t be into it,” I said. “So yeah, when I’m recovered, maybe we can do that.” I gently untied the sling around my neck and let my arm down. It didn’t feel good to put any resistance on those muscles at all, and I hissed. “That sucks.”

“You’re probably going to need to take off your pants, there are a couple other injuries I need to redress,” he said.

“Oh, Din, you have such a way with words,” I said, fanning myself teasingly, smiling a bit, but shifting so I could awkwardly slide them off. Din helped me, and it was then I noticed another bacta patch on my thigh. I looked at it, trying to remember what it was.

“It looks like another stab wound,” he said.

“I don’t remember that at all,” I said, reaching out to peel it off and take a closer look. It was also bruised, similar to how the one on my shoulder was, so I assumed it wasn’t just stabbed, but also messed with in other ways. I grimaced. “Maker. Seriously, remind me to never do this again.”

“I would appreciate you not going through this again,” he agreed, cleaning around the wound with a wipe before spraying some more bacta on it and re-applying a bacta patch. He did the same with a couple other injuries before moving to my upper body. I took my shirt off carefully, but it still hurt a little, moving my injured shoulders.

He removed the bandages from the wounds on my shoulder and arm, cleaned around them, added a little more bacta, then reapplied new bandages where they were needed. He helped me find a shirt to sleep in, and a pair of pants, and helped me into the shirt before replacing my sling. I pulled the pants on myself, awkwardly, then laid down on my back, sighing.

“Thank you,” I said, watching as he removed a few pieces of armor, not all of it as I’m sure he wanted to be ready in this somewhat unfamiliar environment, but he clearly wanted to be comfortable enough to sleep. He picked up the kid from where he’d been hanging out on the floor, and placed him up on the bed with me.

He nodded. “You’re welcome.” He laid next to me, pulling me close to him while still taking care with my injuries. “I hate seeing you like this. I… don’t want to put you in harm’s way by being with me like this forever.”

“It’s okay, Din. I really would do anything for you and the kid,” I said. “If I had to go through this a thousand more times I would.”

“I don’t want you to have to.”

I nodded. “I know. But, like I said when I woke up, one day, we’ll settle down. Somewhere peaceful, beautiful. But our adventuring days aren’t over, we both know that. We’ll navigate this together until the day we don’t have to anymore.”

Din nodded, bringing a gloved hand to my face, gently placing it there. I did the same, pulling his face towards mine, pressing my forehead to his helmet.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

* * *

_ I was hunkered down in that forest again, taking out stormtroopers as fast as I could, praying I’d stay alive. But they got me. They got me. I’d be killed. I was shoved into a cell on an Imperial ship. This is it. No one’s going to launch a rescue mission in a place like this for some pilot. No knight in shining armor. The zabrak from a couple days ago entered the cell with Imperial interrogation equipment. He threw Din’s helmet unceremoniously on the ground. I screamed. _

* * *

I sat straight up. Din was already right next to me, also sitting. I was panting, sweating a little. A moment passed and Cara was at the doorway, blaster in hand.

“Is everything okay?” Din asked quietly.

I nodded, swallowing hard. “Yeah. Nightmare. Did I… Did I yell?” I asked, looking up at Din, then at Cara.

Cara nodded. “Just yelled ‘no,’” she said. “I get them too.”

I nodded. “I just… I keep going back to that crash I had. But…” I trailed off. Din looked over at Cara. I took a deep breath. “I don’t know. It changes sometimes. This time the… capture, and the zabrak… but he had your helmet, and…” I closed my eyes, brows knitting. Something else was wrong, I couldn’t put my finger on it.

“It’s okay. I’m right here, no one’s going to hurt us,” Din said reassuringly, taking my hand in his and squeezing.

“I know. I know.”

“If you need to talk… let me know,” Cara said. “Just not right this second. It’s the middle of the fucking night,” she said, laughing a little, clearly trying to break the tension.

I smiled softly. “Thank you, Cara. Sorry to wake you,” I said.

“It’s alright. G’night,” she said, waving her hand in the air, yawning, and heading back to her room.

“You’re sure you’re alright?” Din asked.

I nodded. “I’m okay. It was just… jarring. Do… you get nightmares?” I asked, laying back down.

He was quiet for a moment. “Sometimes. They’re… stressful.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry for waking you,” I said again.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind,” he said, pulling me close to him as he settled back into the bed. “Try to get some more sleep, okay?”

I hummed a positive response, and did my best to do just that, but the rest was fitful and somewhat uncomfortable, partially due to my injuries, but partially due to the fact I didn’t want to slip into another nightmare. I can’t fault Cara for bringing up the fact I was captured; it wasn’t a secret, and it was quite the story in the Rebellion for a couple weeks. I just wish she hadn’t. I reminded myself I’d have to recount that story to explain to Din why I had flown a TIE fighter.

* * *

Speaking of which. The next morning, Din, Cara and I started our journey towards where the wreckage would be. We got our hands on a couple speeder bikes so it wouldn’t be quite as long a journey as it may have been otherwise. And certainly easier on me, as I was still not feeling the best thanks to my injuries. I was riding with Din and the kid, and Cara had one to herself. I wrapped my arms, now feeling much better, around Din’s waist, hanging on for dear life. I wasn’t a huge fan of these things, it never seemed quite safe to me. The kid was safely secured in front of Din.

After a somewhat long ride, we arrived at the crashed, burnt mess that was Gideon’s TIE fighter. It was a newer model, one that I had only encountered a couple times at the very tail end of the war. I hopped off the speeder bike and, able to stand today thanks to the bacta doing its job, carefully approached, with Din and Cara close behind.

“It’s definitely been picked over,” I said, noting that some of its exterior had been stripped for scrap metal.

“Lots of jawas out here,” Cara said.

I got closer, carefully keeping an eye out for anyone else that might be around, or traps that might be set to keep us from doing exactly what we were here to do. Din stood close to me, scanning over the wreckage himself.

“If we can get any piece of the nav computer or communication array, that might be our ticket to getting this guy,” I said.

“You said you flew one of these?” he asked, some concern laced in his voice.

I smiled weakly. “Yeah,” I started. “That crash I told you about? I didn’t just crash.” I looked over my shoulder to see Cara was a few paces away, keeping watch, both on the kid and the general environment. She already knew about it, yes, but I didn’t want her injecting any rumors or falsehoods into the story while I was telling it. “I was captured, like Cara said yesterday. I don’t remember most of it. Pretty much everything from when I was pulled off the ground to when I was halfway between an exploding star destroyer and a Rebel base is just… gone. Save for this memory of… pure unbridled rage. No idea what I was angry at or why.” I closed my eyes to steady my breathing and not roll into a panic. I knew this was going to happen, so I was much more prepared for it than when he asked about the scar on my back apropos of nothing. “I don’t know how I did it. I don’t know what I did. But I commandeered a TIE fighter and got the hell out of dodge.”

He looked at me for a minute. “You took down a star destroyer by yourself?” He sounded completely dumbstruck. It was a wild thing for anyone to claim, admittedly, so I couldn’t blame him for that.

“I honestly don’t know the real answer to that question, but based on available evidence, yes,” I said. “I… would rather not continue to talk about this if that’s okay.”

He nodded, and turned back to the wreckage. “Where do you want to start?”

I walked forward a little more, ducking down towards the cockpit. It looked like a chunk had been cut out of the side somehow so the pilot, Gideon apparently, could escape. “The safety in these things has been upgraded,” I mumbled. “Crash like this wouldn’t have been survivable in an older model.”

“See anything?” he asked.

I searched the control panel for any remaining… anything. It was also pretty significantly picked over, which I expected, but I wasn’t going to get a good enough look to know for sure if there were any useful pieces left behind from just standing out here. I stood up straight, and looked at Din.

“Hey, got any gadgets in there that can tell us if I can get in that thing without it killing me?” I asked.

He tapped a couple things on his vambrace, and looked at the wreckage intently for a while. “I’m not detecting anything, but be careful,” he said, emphasis on his last two words.

“I will,” I responded, nodding, and then lowered myself in through the hole in the hull. I leveraged myself against the seat so I wouldn’t be as crooked as the actual cockpit was, and had a look around. Didn’t ever think I’d be back in one of these things again. Din stood outside, looking down at what I was doing.

I looked over at where the nav computer should be, and of course, that was completely gone. Must’ve survived the crash well enough to be salvaged. I continued to look at every available detail in the control panel that could possibly give us anything. It was starting to look pretty bleak, but after reaching in the slot where the holo projector for the communications array would be, I struck gold.

“Oh shit,” I mumbled, a smile spreading across my face. The actual transmitter for the communications array was still in here. Sloppy scavenging. “I have something.”

I pulled it out of the slot and gently unplugged it from the wires holding it in place. I held it up to Din, who took it, and then outstretched my better arm for him to help me up and out of the fighter. Once I was free, I took it back from him, studying its integrity in better light.

“This is the transmitter, and it should have data in it from past comms and possibly where they came from or where they were going,” I explained. “It looks like maybe it got a little damaged in the crash, but we should be able to find someone who can crack into this no problem.” I looked up at Din with a beaming grin on my face. We were one step closer to being done with this.

Din nodded, but didn’t seem quite as excited as I was. I gave him a questioning look.

“Just seems too easy,” he said.

I shrugged. “We need a little victory right now,” I said. “We’ve been through a lot in the past few days. Take what we can get.” He nodded again, and we walked back up to Cara.

“Find anything?” she asked.

“The transmitter,” I said. “Got really lucky. Just need to find someone who can crack into it. I can give it a shot, I suppose, but it’s not my strong suit.”

“I’ll pull a couple favors and find someone,” Din commented.

With that, we jumped back on the speeder bikes and headed back to town, and back to Cara’s apartment. I got off the speeder and took the child in my arms, and walked up the stairs towards her place. Din didn’t approach to make it inside, waving me off.

“I need to go do something, and unfortunately you can’t come with me,” he said. “In the covert. I’ll be back soon.”

I nodded. “Alright. I’ll be here, looking at this thing.” I held up the transmitter briefly to define what I was talking about, and turned to go back into Cara’s apartment. Din went on his way, towards the market. Cara let me inside, then turned to leave herself.

“Com me if you need anything,” she said. “I need to go do something for Karga. Lock the door behind me.”

“Yeah, of course,” I said. She waved, shutting the door behind her, and I locked it. I set the kid down and let him toddle around, and he of course made his way over to the couch which was also my intended destination. I lifted him up onto it, and sat down beside him with a sigh of relief. I was still sore from my injuries, though a far sight better than even yesterday now thanks to the bacta treatments.

I held the transmitter in front of me, getting a better look at the electronics and wiring of the device. It was in surprisingly good shape, still, but Din’s comment echoed in my head. Seems too easy. I couldn’t let myself believe that this was actually a bad thing, or that it wouldn’t lead us to anything. This had to be better than finding nothing at all, right? Right. I looked over the electronics and connections in it for a while longer, then set it on the small table in front of the couch. Cara didn’t have anything that I could use to work on it, so I’d just wait until I did, or Din found someone to help us get into it. I sat back on the couch, and looked over at the child, who had fallen asleep. That’s a pretty good idea, honestly. So I settled in for a nap myself.

* * *

Din made his way to the covert. He hadn’t been since he was on Nevarro last, and he was nervous to see what had become of the place. If they’d moved on entirely, if the armorer was still there, alone, or if anyone had come back. He was relieved when he saw a few familiar suits of armor had returned. He quickly walked back to the forge, and was even more relieved to see the armorer working on something as she always did. Her head snapped in his direction as he entered.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you back so soon,” she said, setting her work down and approaching the small table.

“Circumstances have… changed,” Din offered, sitting at the table. “I have some questions for you, if you don’t mind.”

“Please,” she said, gesturing to him to go on.

“Have you seen any more Imperials down here?” he asked, first. “I have good reason to believe Moff Gideon is still alive, and after me. And possibly the rest of the covert, still.”

“No, thankfully things have been peaceful here, and more of us are returning,” she said. “But that is troubling. I will let the others know, and we will be on high alert.”

“Good,” he said. “My other question… is a little more personal.” The armorer nodded, waiting for him to elaborate. “Since I left, I’ve found a partner. She… is extremely talented, she was in the Rebellion much like Cara Dune. She was injured in the field twice, and has two other awards as a pilot. I do not use this lightly, but  _ mandokarla  _ comes to mind. She was near dying in my arms and still managed to kill an enemy with a perfect blaster bolt to the head. And, she recently told me she was responsible for taking down an Imperial star destroyer single handedly.”

“I see,” the armorer said. “And you wish to help her walk the Way.”

Din nodded slightly. “She would be an excellent candidate.”

“So long as she agrees, I see no better person to train her to do so,” she said. “But, I feel there is more to your story.”

“There is,” he said. “I… do not wish to violate the creed I swore. But I also don’t want to wait until she swears the creed before she can see my face. I intend to make her my  _ riduur _ , when the time comes.” He paused, and cleared his throat. “Am I being delusional, should I just continue to be patient and forget about that?”

The armorer, much to Din’s surprise, let out a chuckle. “Our numbers are far too small to expect everyone we love and raise warriors with to also walk the Way,” she explained. “I respect the unwavering devotion you have towards your creed, it’s unparalleled within our tribe, but we sometimes need to make exceptions for the ones we love. So long as you otherwise continue to walk the Way of the Mandalore, you will not violate your creed, Din.”

Din took a shaky breath, partially of relief and partially of nervousness. What would Thessa think? Of all of this? Din pushed those thoughts to the side for now, and produced a handful of credits, partly out of habit. “This is a bit frivolous, but… is there any way you can make a small pin of my signet for her?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are going smoothly, until they’re not.

_ “Get her out of here, do you understand? They cannot know I’ve had a child, they’ll come for her, too. I’ll do my best to go into hiding, but I can’t promise anything. It’s best if we split ways. Safer.” _

_ “What? No, you must come with us, I cannot raise her on my own.” _

_ Rustling, a bundle being passed off. _

_ “You can. And you must. She can’t know what she may become. Maybe never. Keep her safe.” _

_ Silence. For a moment. _

_ “Surely they can’t… kill all of you.” _

_ “Unfortunately they’ve already nearly succeeded. Now go, protect her, make sure she is loved. May the Force be with you.” _

_ “And also with you.” _

* * *

I woke with a start, still on the couch, just as Cara and Din both walked into the apartment. “Mm, hey, sorry, fell asleep,” I mumbled. “The transmitter’s electronics are in better shape than I expected, but I don’t have anything to use to get more information than that.” What the hell was that dream? It didn’t feel like a dream. It felt far more… real. Who were those women? What the hell is the Force?

“That’s good,” Cara said.

“We’ll have to go off planet to get to the person I need to talk to about the transmitter,” Din said. “Tatooine.”

“Oh, good, another hot sandy planet,” I teased, trying to push my confusion at my own dream down so they wouldn’t ask about it. I’d talk to Din about it a little later. 

“I’m in,” Cara said. “If you want me to come, of course.” She looked over at Din with a smile, knowing the answer would be yes. Considering he said that he trusted her about as much as he trusted me, I knew he’d want her to come along.

“We might need the help if this goes as far as I’m afraid it will,” Din said with a sigh.

“How far are you afraid it’s going to go?” I asked, genuinely curious; I knew that Gideon had many more stormtroopers on hand than they had initially thought possible when they were here on Nevarro last time, but this was still just one Imp without an empire to support him, right?

“Considering what we went through last time, more than we would expect,” he said. “The fighter had to come from somewhere, and my bet is a star destroyer somewhere it’s not going to be easily found. Maybe even in the Unknown Regions.” I scowled at the thought. Piloting through that, even just the very outskirts, was like walking through a minefield. “And Gideon isn’t going to come out to greet us himself, so we’re going to have to go to him.”

“We’re going to need a lot more than just the three of us to take down a fucking star destroyer,” I said, knowing full well what I allegedly did several years ago. Cara gave me a confused look. “I know what you’ve heard, but I don’t remember any of it. I certainly wouldn’t be able to reproduce it.”

“Oh. I guess I… heard differently. I should’ve asked your side of the story,” she said.

“You’re not the first, and I’m willing to bet you won’t be the last. It’s okay,” I said, offering her a genuine smile.

“We may have to do it with just the three of us,” Din said. “I can maybe try to get a couple more hands on deck, but there won’t be any cavalry.”

I pressed my lips together and sighed. “That makes me extremely nervous. We’ll need to take time to plan this down to the second,” I said, shaking my head. “But we’ll plan when we have more information, I guess. First things first, though: the transmitter.”

“We’ll leave tomorrow, first thing,” Din said. “I think that’ll give us the best shot at getting the upper hand. If someone here who works for him knows we’ve gone to that wreckage, he already knows we’re on to him.”

“Good thinking, but I have an odd feeling he’s on to us anyway,” I said. “I mean, he has bounty hunters out for us, we had to connect the dots eventually.”

Din sighed, but nodded in agreement. “You’re probably right.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. “And thank you, Cara, for agreeing to do this. It’s… probably dangerous.”

“No more dangerous than some of the shit I put up with after Endor,” she said nonchalantly. “Besides, we fought him once, how much worse could it be?”

“I hope you’re right,” I responded, sighing.

The rest of the evening was spent idly chatting, trying to avoid talking about the shitstorm we were inevitably getting ourselves into. I couldn’t help but think about that dream I’d had the entire time though. Something about it was bothering me, and I wasn’t sure what or why. The contents were fairly innocuous on their own, but for some reason I knew it was much more important than just… a weird dream. But on the off-chance that it was, in fact, just a weird dream, I decided to not bring it up with Din for now. If it became important, I would bring it up then. He didn’t need anything else to worry about right now, and I knew he’d worry about this.

I flung myself into bed, letting out a deep sigh. “I don’t regret leaving Lothal and coming with you one bit,” I started, “but I really wish things… weren’t like this.”

“So do I,” Din said. “Which is why we’re going to put an end to it.” He sat on the edge of the bed beside me and put his hand on my leg.

“You make it sound so easy,” I responded, propping myself up on my elbows, looking at him.

“We both know it’s not going to be,” he said.

I nodded, and laid back down. “I just hope we all make it out of this alive,” I admitted. I furrowed my brow, but kept my gaze to the ceiling. “I don’t… I don’t know what I’d do without you, now.”

“I don’t either,” he said. There was a moment of quiet, and he took his hand away from my leg. “That reminds me, though. While I was in the covert, I… had this made.” I sat up, and Din handed me a small pin. It took me a moment, but I realized it was his mudhorn signet. Immediately upon this realization, my eyes welled with tears.

“Din, I… thank you,” I said, wrapping my arms around him. “This means a lot.”

“I… figured it was appropriate, after everything that had happened,” Din explained. “You’re part of our clan, Mandalorian or not.”

I smiled, pulling back and pressing my forehead to his helmet. “I love you, so, so much.”

“I love you too,” he responded, cupping his hands around my face.

After a moment, I pulled away and took the backing off of the pin. I pressed it through the material at the top of the breast pocket on my jacket, right next to my two redbirds. “Perfect.”

I couldn’t see it, but I knew Din was smiling.

* * *

_ I was somewhere dark. Foggy. Disorienting. Yet… familiar. Whispers surrounded me, unintelligible, likely unimportant. Then I heard a faint, clear voice, and saw a dim light in the distance. I approached, although something was pulling me back, telling me I didn’t want to see. But I wanted to hear. _

_ “Thessa Emereas. They didn’t change your last name. How curious.” _

_ “What are you talking about?” My own voice. I was scared, but putting on a brave face, trying to appear angry and intimidating. _

_ “You’ve been very difficult to get a hold of. A very skilled pilot indeed.” _

_ “Oh, fuck off. What do you want from me? I’m just a pilot, why am I not dead yet?” _

_ “Oh, Thessa, you’re far from just a pilot. You should’ve been killed years ago. 22 in fact, give or take a few weeks.” I was 22 at the time I was captured. What did this mean? _

_ The voice said something about my mother. I felt an immense, searing pain, suddenly, everywhere, my head felt like it was going to split open. The dim light of the space I was in was suddenly too much, and I sunk to my knees, cradling my head in my hands. Rage. Absolute, pure rage. An explosion sounded off. _

* * *

When I finally came to, I was on top of Din with my wrists in his hands, panting. He was saying my name, just loud enough I could hear but it wouldn’t wake Cara up. I looked down at him, horror dawning on my face. I took my hands back from him, cradling them to my chest as if that would protect him from whatever I just did.

“Thessa, are you okay?” he asked, cautiously.

I nodded meekly, trying to process what the hell I just had a dream about. I crawled off of Din, laying down facing away from him, still holding my hands to myself. “Did… did I just try to choke you?” I asked, quiet enough he might not have heard me.

“You were dreaming,” Din said, as if that would assure me it was fine. “You didn’t know what you were doing.”

I was quiet for a long moment. Din placed his hand on my shoulder, and I let myself put my hand over his. “That dream… I… heard some of what happened to me on that star destroyer,” I mumbled.

“Did you remember what happened?” he asked.

“No, not… not really. I don’t truly remember it, it was like… the place I was in was… telling me something, trying to get me to… understand a point,” I said. “It didn’t… feel like a dream, really, it was like… someone was trying to show me something.” I took a deep breath. “Before you got back, I had another dream that was… more like a memory than a dream, it was too vivid, but it wasn’t my own memory. It was two women talking about getting a baby into hiding. Said something about the Force?” I turned back towards Din, still confused. “I think they had… something to do with each other, but I don’t… I don’t know.” I looked him in where his eyes would be. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he assured me, putting one hand to my cheek and running his thumb over my cheekbone. “Go back to sleep. We have to travel in the morning.”

“I know,” I responded, smiling softly, putting my hand over his. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

* * *

The next morning, we left Nevarro for Tatooine, Cara joining our crew. The kid was happy to be back on the ship with some of his toys, content in his little room. The trip was uneventful, save for me thinking about the dreams I’d had the previous day and the fact I tried to choke Din in my sleep. I was unusually quiet, and it didn’t go unnoticed. Both Din and Cara asked me if I was okay more than once, and I managed to get them to not pry by telling them I was just worried about what we were getting ourselves into.

My mother died when I was a teenager, just 14. Figuring this out would be so much easier if she was alive… I could ask her what that dream meant by telling me ‘they,’ whoever that is, didn’t change my last name. That being said, I had an odd feeling that one of the women in my first dream was my mother. I don’t know who the other woman was, unless… perhaps one was my biological mother and the other was the woman who raised me? Was I the baby? Still, what was the Force? And what were they hiding me from? That reminded me of something that happened on Nevarro.

“Din,” I started, pulling myself from my thoughts, looking towards him from my position in the co-pilot’s seat in the cockpit. “When we got to Nevarro, and we met Greef, he said something about the kid saving his life. What… was he talking about?”

Din turned towards me and sighed a little bit. “I… the kid has these… abilities,” he explained. “I’m surprised you haven’t seen him. He can move things with his mind, and at one point when we were on Nevarro, the day before we faced off with Gideon, he healed Greef with what I assume was the same ability.”

The Force. That has to be it, right? “Oh. Well, that… would explain why Gideon wants him so bad, I guess,” I responded. “And why he can get to things I could’ve sworn I put well out of his reach.”

Din nodded a little bit. “Apparently it’s something attributed to these… Jedi,” he continued. “Our armorer in our covert told me a bit about them when we saw her that day. I’m supposed to be trying to find them to reunite the kid with his kind, but… I haven’t had much luck.”

I nodded slowly, considering his words. “Hm. Sorry, I just… that dream I had last night is bothering me, still,” I said, running my hand down my face. “I’m sorry I attacked you.”

“Thessa, it’s fine,” Din assured me. “You weren’t putting in much effort, if it helps, it was pretty easy to get you to stop.” There was a hint of amusement in his voice, trying to lighten the mood.

I smiled a bit. “Well, if I ever do that again, just throw me off the bed or something,” I told him, a bit of my own amusement in my voice.

We made it to Tatooine in fairly short order. We landed in Mos Eisley, and, after carefully making sure the kid was locked in the ship with plenty to do, Din took us through some back alleys to a rather shady-looking, even for Mos Eisley, building that was clearly someone’s home. He knocked, and after a few moments, a small window slid open on the door. Whoever lived there looked us over for a moment before shutting the window again, unlocking the door, and opening it for us. A togruta woman let us in, motioning for us to stay quiet until the door was shut.

“Mando. Almost thought you were dead, it’s been a while,” she said, pleased to see him if not a bit irritated he was here. And with guests.

“Luun,” Din greeted her with a nod. “Haven’t needed your services in a while.”

She rolled her eyes and looked over to Cara and I. “Kids. They never write,” she said, feigning frustration. “Well, what brings you all here?”

I reached into my bag and produced the transmitter. “This does. It’s a transmitter from the communications array in a TIE fighter,” I explained. “We were hoping you could help us find any location data that might still be on it. We’re trying to figure out where the fighter came from.”

Luun gave us a shocked look for a moment. “A TIE fighter?” she asked in disbelief. “Where the hell did you find a TIE fighter?”

Din shook his head. “It’s a long story. Can you help us?”

“Everything with you’s a long story,” she said, smirking at him. “Yeah, I’ll see what I can do. Hang tight.”

She walked further into the small house, and to a workbench with electronic equipment littering the surface. She placed the transmitter down, getting to work fixing a few connections and hooking it up to a computer that would hopefully display some relevant data. I looked over at Din somewhat nervously, and he looked back. He nodded shortly, and I took a deep breath, turning back to watch what was happening. Cara was poking around on some of the shelves in the room, where Luun had some equipment and trinkets stacked up. It was dim in here, disorganized, but homey nonetheless. Clearly Luun had lived here for quite a while.

“Stars, you all brought the mood down in here,” Luun said, looking away from her work for a moment. “I take it this is important.”

“Extremely,” I responded. “There’s a lot riding on this.” Unsure how much information I could safely tell her, I left it at that.

“Well, you’re in luck, this thing’s in pretty good shape. Should be able to get at least something from it,” she said. She turned her attention back to the computer, entering a few commands before sitting back and waiting. After several excruciating minutes, she let out a low whistle.

“What is it?” I asked hopefully.

“Well, there are a handful of locations in here, but I’m… not entirely certain they’re correct,” she answered, scrolling through the data the computer was displaying. “You have the TIE fighter on Nevarro most recently, but it looks like it was sending and receiving takeoff information from somewhere near Lasan in wild space.”

“Wild space! Even better,” I said, sighing.

“That tracks, though, the Empire killed most of the population of that planet at some point,” Cara chimed in.

“At least we have something,” Din said. “And if anyone can get us through wild space, it’s you.” He placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed lightly.

I nodded, still a little taken aback at the revelation. “Yeah, I just… I have a bad feeling about this,” I said, looking at Din. “We need to be extremely careful.”

“We will be. We’ll do everything we can to prepare,” he assured me, then looked back at Luun. “Thank you. Here.” Din produced a handful of credits and handed them to her. She took them, but seemed a bit shocked at the amount.

“You’re welcome,” she said, turning and unhooking the transmitter from her equipment. She handed it back to me, and I put it back in my bag.

After a few more pleasantries, we left Luun’s home and started to make our way back through Mos Eisley towards the ship. Getting this information took a somewhat shorter time than we had anticipated, so we took the opportunity to walk through the markets, picking up some essentials since we were stopped. Of course, we had stocked up on Nevarro, so we didn’t need much if anything, but given it appeared our next stop was possibly in wild space, it couldn’t hurt to have some extra supplies. Still, though, walking through the markets was… tense, something was wrong, but based on Din and Cara’s overall relaxed demeanor, I was the only one feeling it. I shoved it to the side; it was just anxiety about all of this. I haven’t faced off with an Imperial in years, and I would be lying if I said the prospect didn’t scare me a little bit. I sort of figured I’d left that all behind once I left the Rebellion, but of course, things never go to plan.

And it certainly wasn’t part of the plan when stormtroopers flanked us in the street.

Shots rang out, and Din called my name. He was several booths down from me. I waved him off, taking cover quickly behind a booth and grabbing my blaster. Of course this would happen. It was all going too easily up until this point. The other shoe had to drop at some point. May as well be now. I took a deep breath and took several shots at one of the troopers, not missing a shot. This felt all too familiar. I ducked back under cover and looked over to where Din and Cara were.

Blaster bolts whizzed over my head and I attempted to get from my position to behind the next booth over, but the gap was too wide, with the troopers knowing where I was I’d be shot for sure. I frowned, looking around. We’d have to shoot our way out, if we could even manage that. I glanced over my cover again, taking a quick count. There were twelve of them, but they had to come from somewhere, and my bet is there were more. Din and Cara got out last time, surely Gideon knew to send more firepower than he thought was necessary. This was not good.

I heard Din call my name again. I looked over in that direction and Din was looking over his own cover intermittently. He had a clear path out and back to the ship. My eyes flicked behind him, and like he read my mind, he shook his head.

“I’m not leaving you!” he shouted, ducking under his cover again. I took another quick look at how many there were. We were up to sixteen troopers and they were getting closer to me. I took another few shots, then ducked again.

“You have to! Get the kid out of here!” I shouted back. “I’ll be fine!”

“You won’t and you know it!” He was right, but I had to say it to make us both feel better. My adrenaline was running too high for me to really accept that this might be it, that this is the end of the road for me before it really even began, so in a way, it did sort of work.

“Din, go!” I said, finally, looking over to Cara who was giving me a concerned look. “Get him out of here!”

She nodded once, and grabbed Din’s arm, telling him something I couldn’t quite hear.

Just as I saw that, time slowed down. A pair of hands grabbed me. I was dragged out of cover. Flashes of black and white. One snatched my blaster from my hand. I kicked and thrashed and screamed, trying to get out of their grasp, but it was no use. Din shouted my name again. Tears pricked in my eyes. I shouted back, telling him I loved him. A tear escaped, falling down my face.

Something hard hit me over the head. Suddenly I was surrounded by trees. I looked around me, identifying three X-wing crashes. Mine, one with a tree branch through the cockpit, and another that was mangled beyond recognition. Din was in the pilot’s seat, branch through his chest. I screamed but nothing came out. This is my fault. If I hadn’t gone with him on Lothal this wouldn’t be happening. Bloodcurdling screaming came from the more severe crash. Cara’s voice.

_ You did what you had to do to get the mission done. That’s commendable. _

Of course it is. It was at the time. I regret it now. I threw away lives. I am throwing away lives. Din should not have to launch a rescue mission for me in wild space. I love him. I love him and I don’t want to put him in harm’s way.

I won’t have anyone else die because of me.

I was in a shuttle. Floor was cold. Hard. Uncomfortable. Hands bound behind my back. Troopers surrounding me. Was this now, or was this then?  _ All too familiar. _ But as long as Din and the kid are safe… it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter.

* * *

Din Djarin wasn’t fast to trust. Not by a longshot, not with his heart, and certainly not with the little one. Something about the innkeeper immediately held his attention, though. Maybe it was the way she smiled and saw him as a real, living person, not some mysterious suit of armor to be marveled at. Maybe it was the way she played with and cared for the kid, and the way the kid loved her so much, like she was his mother. Maybe it was the way she held her own in Mos Eisley, with good aim and an incredible ability to keep her cool under fire. He didn’t miss the way she noticed he and Cara had a clear path to the ship. Maybe it was the way she so adamantly encouraged him to leave and keep the kid safe as if her own safety didn’t matter as much. Maybe it was all of those things.

Either way, when she told him to leave her behind, panic and love and grief and anger all bloomed in him at once, threatening to overwhelm him. This was incredibly uncharacteristic; emotions rarely got in his way like this on the battlefield. But with Thessa, all bets were off. He’d do anything for her, and if that meant throwing himself headfirst into a mob of stormtroopers to keep her from getting killed or captured, then that was fine by him. He heard her shout something, but didn’t register it. He was too busy planning out what he was going to do in the next few seconds to make sure everyone got off Tatooine in one piece and together. Then he felt Cara’s hand on his arm.

“She’s right. We need to go, now,” she said, calmly.

He shook his head, about to say something, but he was pulled from it by a scream.

Two troopers had Thessa by her arms. He screamed her name, desperation in his voice that he wished wasn’t there. He leveled his blaster towards one of them as Thessa told him she loved him, but Cara snatched his hand down.

“You miss, you hit her, you’ll regret it,” Cara hissed. “We need to leave.”

“I won’t miss,” he growled back, jerking his hand away. She was further away from him now, still thrashing in their grasp. Further from him. Further from safety.

“But what if you do?” Cara implored. The troopers were backing away now. They had what they’d come for. Just one of them. Just one of them and the rest would come to the trap Gideon was laying.

Thessa disappeared from his view and he felt the tears welling in his eyes. He clenched his jaw, and the two started running back to the Razor Crest. He wished he was running after her, but both she and Cara were right. They needed to go. He didn’t clearly remember boarding, or getting up to the cockpit, or taking off. Everything was fuzzy. Thessa wasn’t on the ship. It settled in his mind again when he turned around in the pilot’s chair and she wasn’t smiling at him from one of the co-pilot’s chairs. Cara was leaning in the corner.

“We’ll get her,” she assured him. “She’s going to stay alive. She’s been through this before.”

All Din could do was nod. He descended back into the hull, and disappeared into their bedroom, locking the door behind him. This was his fault. If he had just pushed his feelings to the side and not invited her to go on that damn job with him on Lothal, she’d be happily working at that inn, safe and definitely alive. She still hadn’t seen his face. He wanted to show her, to be with her, hell, to marry her, and now there was a good chance that wouldn’t happen. Because of him. Because he couldn’t let go of a quarry. Because he couldn’t leave well enough alone.

He let himself wallow for a while longer, removing his helmet and angrily wiping away the tears that had fallen. He looked at his warped reflection in the shiny metal of the thing that kept him hidden from the universe, sighing. She wouldn’t want him to be like this. She wouldn’t want him this upset. She would want him to get up off his ass and save her. But she’d want him to take his time to prepare. Not to take any chances.  _ We’ll need to take time to plan this down to the second, _ she’d said. She was right. They’d need to get information, and a lot of it. Weapons, ammunition, anything they could get that would help them be prepared.

Anything to see her again. Anything to have her safe. Anything to show her how much he loved her, to spend the rest of his life with her, to show her his face.  _ Anything for her. _


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thessa learns some things and remembers some other things. Cara and Din make something akin to a plan.

It could’ve been hours. Days. Time was fuzzy, and unforgiving. The artificial light of this ship was sharp, too bright, a shade too blue. This cell was familiar. Of course, I still didn’t remember anything from when I was in one last, but that familiar feeling was there all the same. I had no idea how long I’d been here. How long I had already been separated from Din and the child. How long I had been dealing with this cycle of emotions going through my head that canceled each other out until I simply felt numb.

The first feeling was dread. The second feeling was panic. Then anger. Then sadness. Then defeat. It all boiled down to this: I don’t know why I’m still alive, but it’s not good. I hope that Din knows better than to try to follow me and rescue me. He and Cara can’t do this themselves. We couldn’t have done it with all three of us.

I slept a couple of times before anything happened. Food was unceremoniously shoved through a slat under the door a few times. I didn’t see anyone, though. There weren’t any windows I could see through in here, save for some grates at the very top of the door to the cell. It wasn’t particularly roomy, either, even for what it was. That led me to believe I wouldn’t be in this one spot for long. That suspicion was confirmed when the door slid open, and two stormtroopers stood at the ready.

“Get up, hands behind your back,” one ordered, not moving from his position.

I sighed, then complied with their orders. I was one person, what the hell was I going to do if I managed to take these two down and tried to make a break for it? Wouldn’t get very far, that’s for sure. One moved towards me and cuffed my hands behind my back, then grabbed hold of them, leading me out of my cell.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked, fully expecting to not get an answer.

I didn’t get one. I didn’t need one, not really. I knew this is where things were going to get bad. There was a bounty on me for a reason. I was about to find out what it was.

The two troopers led me down several long, nearly identical halls, all sleek lined and brightly lit. They took me into an elevator, then down several floors, before going through a handful more hallways. I couldn’t even imagine how people navigated the halls on these things; it all looked the same. This was done on purpose, I was sure. Enemies couldn’t get through as efficiently if they couldn’t figure out where they were going. Eventually, though, we came to a door that was significantly larger than the one to my cell, and one of the troopers pressed a button to the side of it. It slid open, and they led me into a dimly lit room with a lot of unfamiliar equipment in it. One unlocked the binders, then the other grabbed my arm and pushed me with my back up against something. The other then secured me to it, and I realized this was absolutely a torture chamber. What did I know that they thought they were going to torture out of me?

As quickly as we had entered, the two stormtroopers left, the door closing and locking behind them. That feeling of defeat was quickly taking over. This was it. Whatever they wanted from me, I didn’t know, and when I proved useless to them, I’d be killed, and that would be that. End of the road. At least this time I’d told Din a hundred times that I loved him.

After some time, it could’ve been a few minutes or an hour, I wasn’t sure, the door slid open again. A man in an Imperial officer uniform I didn’t quite recognize at first entered, a smirk plastered on his face. He looked over me for a few moments, giving me time to piece together who he was; Moff Gideon. Of course.

“Thessa Emereas, how good it is to finally meet you,” he said. His tone gave away his arrogance. “I’m sure you’re wondering what you’ve got yourself wrapped up in.”

I looked over at him, trying to make my expression look more bored than defeated, but I could tell it wasn’t working. I stayed silent, not wanting to dig myself into a hole any deeper than the one I’d been put in against my will.

He hummed at my nonresponse. “Well, you’ve been very difficult to get a hold of,” he said.

I flinched at his words, the dream I had before we left for Tatooine replaying in my mind.  _ A very skilled pilot indeed. _

His smirk seemed to widen. “Perhaps you remember your last time you were in this situation, hm? Amazing work with your escape, taking down a star destroyer single handedly is no easy feat,” he said, taking a few paces around me.

“I actually can’t remember it at all,” I commented.

“How curious,” he responded, looking towards one of the many devices in this room. “Well, once we get started, I’m sure it will come back to you.”

“Just tell me what you want from me,” I said. “I don’t understand what you wanted from me before, and I don’t understand what you want from me now.”

“That’s fair enough,” Gideon said, sighing. “You may not be aware of it, but you are very special. In fact, you shouldn’t even exist. If it weren’t for the cunning of your parents, you would have been killed mere weeks after you were born.” He paused, looking at me for any reaction. I was doing my best not to give him one. “Your biological mother was a Jedi. A skilled warrior, with mastery over the Force. Her kind was purged from the galaxy, or so we thought, when the Empire began approximately 28 years ago. But, by the time we found out you existed, you and the woman who raised you were long gone, and hidden very well.”

“So, what, I’m supposed to die because of what my mother was?” I asked incredulously.

Gideon laughed. “No, no, not at this point. You’re far too useful to me, to us now for me to simply kill you,” he said. “No, we’ve developed some interesting new techniques, recently. I am going to make you reach your full potential, and then you are going to work for me.”

I scoffed. “Absolutely not,” I said. “You’re delusional.”

“We’ll see if you’re still saying that when I’m done with you.”

* * *

_ After being placed in the shuttle on Panatha, I was moved to a cell on one of the star destroyers orbiting the planet. I spent only a few hours in the cell before I was moved to a chamber. A torture chamber. _

Something, someone, was trying to warn me of this. I didn’t want to see, but now I had to.

_ A woman walked into the chamber, dressed in black, a uniform I wasn’t familiar with. “Thessa Emereas. They didn’t change your last name. How curious.” _

_ “What are you talking about?” I asked, doing my best to cover my fear with anger and bravery. _

_ “You’ve been very difficult to get a hold of. A very skilled pilot indeed,” she said, pacing around me, her fingers dragging under my jaw. I jerked my head away. _

_ “Oh, fuck off. What do you want from me? I’m just a pilot, why am I not dead yet?” _

_ “Oh, Thessa, you’re far from just a pilot. You should’ve been killed years ago. 22 in fact, give or take a few weeks,” she explained. “You have a sensitivity to something greater, and I believe you’re aware of that fact. Or did the woman who called herself your mother not tell you? Have you not felt it?” _

_ “Tell me what? What the hell are you talking about?” I asked again. _

_ “Your mother, your real mother, was a Jedi knight,” she answered. “A powerful warrior and Force wielder. As you are, though you appear to be unaware.” _

_ “I was raised by my real mother,” I snapped. _

_ “Perhaps, but Katiade was not who gave birth to you,” she said. “She was but an average citizen going about life on Coruscant, where you were born, when the woman who gave birth to you, Roshana Emereas, sent you into hiding with Katiade.” _

_ “I was born on Corelia,” I said. _

_ “A convenient lie to cover your tracks,” she responded. “And a smart move on Katiade’s part. That and your constant movement made you very difficult to find.” _

_ This was a load of crap. It had to be. Why would my mother hide all of this from me? “You still haven’t told me why I’m here.” _

_ “It’s your connection with the Force, my dear,” she said. “This power that you have. Maybe you’ve noticed it in your ability to sense others’ emotions, hunches that are usually correct, perhaps even an enhanced ability to find misplaced things.” _

_ These did ring true to me. Why? “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” _

_ “I know you do, because I’m connected to the Force as well, and I know you recognize those scenarios.” She paused, then reached a hand out towards me. “And now, you’ll learn to use it and assist the Empire in their quelling of this rebellion,” she said. _

_ I felt the words in my head, I felt the urge to do as she was commanding, but I resisted. She let out a huff of a laugh. _

_ “Strong indeed, just like your mother,” she said. “But, even the strongest break eventually.” _

_ She reaffirmed her hand in the air, but this time, I fought back. I don’t know how, not exactly, but it came naturally, and in the form of her flying back from me and landing on the ground several feet away. This was starting to make me angry. How dare she assume I would so easily abandon my principles? How dare she think she can turn me against something I cared so much about? How dare she take a power I didn’t know I had and turn it into her own personal weapon? Another laugh came from the woman. _

_ “How naturally the dark side is coming to you!” she said, sickeningly pleased. “That annoyance, that anger, that is what will help us.” _

_ “In your dreams, bitch.” I focused on my restraints, and they curled back with groaning metal where applicable, and released in others, straps and fasteners snapping and flying across the room. She jumped up, and put another hand out, and a screaming, splitting headache overcame my being. _

_ I needed to get out. _

_ Now. _

_ The rest was a blur, a presence in the back of my brain quietly erasing the memory of this encounter. With motions of my hands and a blaster stolen from a stormtrooper, I barrelled my way through walls towards where I hoped there was a ship, or a pod, or something. Anything to get me out of this ship and back towards a Rebel base. Holes were blown through heavy metal doors, the blaring alarms mixing with the painful sensation of my memory being erased only proving to make me more angry. More powerful. _

_ I made it to a hangar. _

_ Throwing troopers and officers out of my way, I hopped in a flight-prepped TIE fighter. I can fly anything. I can fly this. _

_ And I escaped. _

* * *

I awoke from this trance coated in a thin layer of sweat, trying to catch my breath. I looked around the room, orienting myself, and my eyes landed on my current captor and interrogator. His current expression was eerily neutral, waiting for me to say something. So I didn’t. I took a deep breath, then set my jaw and looked ahead.

“As you can surely now remember, we needed you because you are incredibly powerful with the Force,” Gideon said. “You tore apart a massive war ship single handedly. That’s the kind of power we need. That is what is going to bring the Empire back to its full glory, and crush this New Republic.”

“Making me remember something you did to me isn’t going to make me join you,” I said, far too calmly for how I was feeling.

“I’m aware. It’s easier for me to show you that you do have that power than try to convince you without those memories,” he responded. “No, what’s going to make you join me is what comes next.”

Several devices were lowered and positioned near me. Something was lowered over my head; a synoptic teacher. This is when the panic set in. Anyone from the Rebellion could recognize an IT-O, those were not to be messed with. I was fucked. I was not getting out of this. No wit, no pleading, and there was certainly no fighting my way out. Whatever I’d tapped in to those years ago was just out of reach, no matter how hard I grasped at it it slipped away like fog.

And then the pain started.

* * *

The synoptic teacher combined with the pain and drugs from the IT-O were a powerful cocktail. Whatever... compartmentalization, or coping, or attempt at coping I did while that was all happening locked me into the back of my head; I was simply a passenger in my own body as this all happened. And what was happening terrified me.

Training. Constant, daily, unrelenting. In my newfound abilities, as well as fighting. Training with the synoptic teacher and practice with droids and stormtroopers were trying to prepare me for what I knew, deep down, this was all for; to eventually face off with Din. He was currently the biggest pain in Gideon’s ass, and to have me, someone who was close to Din, do it? That would be, hopefully, the crippling blow Gideon needed. And once Din was out of the way, the child would be his, and he could continue on with whatever plan he had in store.

I was watching all of this happen through my own eyes without any control or say over it. It was… bizarre, and uncomfortable. Whatever I’d become, whatever was being displayed to the world, was not me. I was mindlessly obeying commands, agreeing with everything Gideon had to say; I was becoming a perfect pawn in this game of chess he had begun unexpectedly losing.

_ Weeks  _ passed. While part of me wished he would just stay away for both his and the kid’s sake, I knew Din was taking time to prepare, which was good. Another part of me was still nervous that he hadn’t yet shown up. The longer we waited, though, the more prepared I hoped he’d be. On the flip side, it was all the more prepared I would be with my training. But there was nothing I could do about it. Not now, not while I wasn’t in control of my own body.

I had proven trustworthy, or at least brainwashed, enough to have my own quarters and not have to be escorted in binders everywhere, which was nice. I was still accompanied by stormtroopers when I was in the halls of the ship, but that was a reasonable compromise. I was walking down to the room where the vast majority of my training had taken place from my quarters when I was intercepted by Gideon himself, who I hadn’t seen in person in several days.

“Emereas. I have something I want you to begin training with,” he said, handing over a device of some sort to me.

I inspected it for a moment. It appeared to be the hilt of a sword. It was comfortable to hold, weighted nicely. It triggered something in my training, though, and carefully, pointing it away from anyone, I flipped it on, a black, yet glowing blade coming from the end. A smirk settled on my face, though I wish it hadn’t. But of course, whatever character I was being groomed to display was in full gear. That character was thrilled to have a weapon that looked like this, that matched her own power.

“This type of weapon was used by Force users just like yourself,” Gideon explained.

“It’s a lightsaber?” I asked, somewhat confused; it didn’t look like any kind of lightsaber I’d been shown in my training.

“Yes. It was created by a Mandalorian, more than a millennium ago,” he answered.

“I see,” I responded, switching it off and facing him again.

“The person who holds it is supposed to be the leader of the Mandalorians,” he continued. “Which is why it is important that you have it when you strike Din Djarin down.”

I didn’t say anything, the outward part of me thinking that was a bit petty, but so be it. I, however, was horrified by this revelation. Din never mentioned anything like this to me, but maybe he didn’t know. He didn’t know anything about the Jedi or the Force when we talked about the child and his abilities just before I was captured again.

“Train with that until it becomes an extension of yourself. I expect to have a plan in place as soon as you reach that point,” he explained. “I’ll let you know when that happens.”

I nodded and finished my walk to the training room, readying myself for what was to come. I hate to admit it, but this training was effective, and I felt great. While nothing came close to the quality of training I got from Din when we would spar, I was still better than I was with many, many things. Hand to hand, blasters, being better able to tap in to the Force and use it at my will. Not just emotional, frustrated outbursts. While I was already somewhat familiar with some sword fighting techniques by virtue of it being in some of the packages used in the synoptic trainer, I would imagine I’d be receiving more specific training to this lightsaber I’d been given.

I guessed correctly. The day was filled with training for specifically this, incorporating the Force in my movements, deflecting blaster bolts, and using it against targets. It was a powerful weapon indeed, sliced through most things nearly effortlessly. Of course I appreciated a good old fashioned blaster, but this was quickly becoming my--

No, not my. Not my favorite weapon.  _ Her _ favorite weapon. I hated this. I hated every second of this.  _ She _ was the one who was bending to Gideon’s commands, who was abandoning her past wholesale. I just couldn’t scream loud enough in the back of my own mind to get her to stop, to remember, to rebel. At least I was still back here, but I could feel my grip on my own personality slipping the longer I stayed cut off from control.

I just needed to hang on until Din came. Then I’d figure it out.

* * *

“We aren’t ready,” Din insisted.

“What else can we do?” Cara asked insistently. “We have the weapons and the munitions. Everyone made it clear they weren’t going to help.”

“We have to find someone to help,” Din said. “We can’t do this with just the two of us.”

“We have to,” Cara said. “We just have to be careful.”

“We’re walking into a trap,” Din argued, his voice rising slightly.

“Of course we are! It’s the Empire! But we both know what their traps look like and we can get in and get out before anyone knows what’s going on,” she replied.

“No, we won’t, because the second we get in range of whatever ship she’s on, they’re going to know that we’re there and what we’re there for,” he said. “Thessa wouldn’t want us risking our lives like that.”

“No, she wouldn’t, but she also is currently stuck on a star destroyer enduring who knows what at the hands of a Moff that should’ve died at least twice now,” she said. “We need to get her. It’s been nearly a month.”

“You think I don’t want to go jump in head first and get her?” Din asked, fully yelling at this point. Cara shrunk back in surprise. “I wanted to jump in head first to get her when we were in Mos Eisley, you think I didn’t want to go get her yesterday? Last week? The day after? I’m terrified of knowing what they might be doing to her, especially since this is her second round with them. But we need to be  _ more than ready _ for this, we cannot make a single mistake.”

Cara sighed. “Okay. Here’s what we should do,” she started, slowly. Before she could get the entire thought out, though, alarms started blaring from the cockpit. They both dashed up from the hold, Din quickly grabbing the child and bringing him with them. They were actually being attacked, this time, no kid on the joystick.

And it was a TIE fighter.

Shit.

The transmitter.

Din jumped into the pilot’s chair after securing the kid in his seat, and began maneuvering around, dodging fire from the fighter. This was going to be a challenge. But, after watching Thessa through a couple of these dogfights, he’d picked up on a few things, and he was confident he could get through it.

“Cara, the transmitter, in the hold, bottom shelf of the weapons locker,” Din said quickly. “Destroy it. Space it, something.”

“The transmitter? I thought Thessa had it,” Cara questioned, holding on to the back of one of the co-pilot’s chairs as the Crest banked and wove around the incoming shots.

“I took it from her while we were in the market, it made it back with us,” Din said. “Go!”

Cara nodded and ran back to the hold, stumbling as the floor continued to move outside of her control. She opened the locker and found the transmitter, still in the bag Thessa had been carrying, and grabbed it. She took a look at it and, pulling her blaster, shot a hole clean through it. She then took it to the Crest’s garbage chute, jettisoning it out into space. She then ran back up to the cockpit, where Din was, with quite a bit of effort, still dodging the other ship’s attacks.

Cara sat back in the co-pilot’s chair, buckling herself in. “Done, destroyed and spaced,” she explained.

“Hang on,” Din said, before pulling a few much more physically demanding moves that would’ve thrown Cara across the hold had he done this before she was strapped in.

Din had eyes on this fighter, and knew what he was going to do. Whatever, or whoever, they sent, this wasn’t supposed to be a kill. They were making it too easy. This was a warning, or a nudge to get moving. Cara, on the other hand, didn’t understand that, and was trying her best not to get motion sick, keeping her eyes on the viewport and taking deep breaths. After what seemed like hours of banking and turning and dodging, Din managed to get behind the fighter, landed a shot right on the cockpit, and the enemy ship was destroyed. The Razor Crest stilled, and Din let go of the controls, slumping back into the pilot’s chair, trying to let go of some of the tension in his shoulders.

Cara closed her eyes and breathed, trying to will away the dizzy feeling from being thrown around like that. “Okay. If that’s just going to keep happening, we need to get this taken care of,” she said.

“That was definitely Gideon trying to get us to make a move,” Din agreed. “You might be right.”

“Before we were rudely interrupted, I was going to suggest we at least go and just… stake out the area. It’s high risk, but high reward,” she said. “If we know what to expect, we’ll know how to act.”

Din nodded. “Okay. Let’s do that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please come say hi and hang out with me over at spacegayofficial on tumblr!


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